holy shit

My anxiety is interfering with my ability to write in anything other than lists. Here are my current anxiety-addled thoughts:

1) The good news is that tomorrow this mindfuck of a process will be over.

2) What kind of sicko set up this terrible California bar exam process?

3) What kind of sociopath decided that after studying for 2-3 months, you should be forced to wait for four ridiculous months for the results of a three day test.

4) I think there's a special place in hell for the people behind #3 above, especially the four month waiting process.

5) Tonight Husband took me for non-fish sushi (cucumber/avocado rolls) and then shopping for vodka & chocolate. I think I'm set for tomorrow night.

6) I don't want to go to work tomorrow but I don't want to stay at home tomorrow either. I don't think I'll be able to focus or come down off my mental ledge at either place, so I might as well just go to work and be a mess there so I'm not burning a hole in my carpet pacing.

7) I cannot tell you how much I think I will come undone if I have to go through this process again.

8) I want to pass this damn exam. I want to pass it so badly I cannot breath properly.

9) I feel like I'm going to have a heart attack before 6:00 p.m. tomorrow.

10) I think I need to invent a way to get alcohol intravaneously, for moments like these.