It's not you, it's me.

Hi. How are you? Really? Good. Yeah, I'm good - I know, I've been really busy lately ... listen, can we talk?

I think I need to say what we've both known for a while now: IT'S TIME FOR ME TO MOVE ON.


It's not you, it's me. No, I'm not just saying that - I'm not. Listen, it's complicated. You're not going to get emotional, are you? I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be mean or insensitive - I'm just a little nervous; bear with me.


It's just that I'm not sure we really have a future. We've been together a long time - since July 6, 2005. I don't think I'll ever forget how I felt when I did my first post - giddy, excited at the possibilities, it was just incredible. And I don't think I'll ever forget you. I mean, we've had a total of 269 posts - that's not something I take lightly. I know I didn't write as often as I could have - we've had our ups and downs, just like every relationship, and I'm sorry. We've both done things we're not proud of, let's not start pointing fingers now.

It's just that ... well, to be honest - you do want me to be honest, don't you - I just feel like we've lost something in the last few months. Maybe I got bored, maybe you became a little disenchanted with me, I don't know. Maybe we just grew apart? No, stop, I wasn't cheating with another blog. Oh, I dabbled here and there but I never took up with another site for more than a post or two. And no, MySpace and Facebook do NOT count, so don't even go there. What, you don't want me to have a non-anonymous site? You want me all for yourself? Maybe that's been the real problem here.

Sigh. Okay, you're right, let's not make this into a pissing contest. Yes, I know, you would totally win. I know, look - sorry, let me just continue. I guess I just don't know where we could go from here. I don't think it's fair to you to turn you into some baby blog, where I write about baby details that would probably be pretty mundane to you. No, I don't know what that would be yet because I haven't had the baby yet. Any day now, though, thanks for asking. It just feels like it would kind of, well, cheap to turn you into a "mommy" blog. You deserve so much more. No, I'm not going to quit my job and become a Harriet Homemaker, would you stop with the accusations?!? I'm just trying to look out for your best interests here, so don't start hitting below the belt.

It's just that my life has come so far from where it was when I started. I'm in a different place now - and I'm sorry, but I'm just not sure how you fit into that place. Please don't cry - this isn't about you! No, really, it's not - you're great. In fact, you're so great that's why I feel like we need to go our separate ways - I just can't meet your needs anymore, and I don't think you're in a place to meet mine.

I know, this is hard for me, too - no really, it is. I am being serious. Would you have preferred that I just stopped writing? Just disappeared? I couldn't do that - I had to come back to say goodbye.

What? Yeah, I probably will start a "mommy" blog - I imagine I'll probably need a place to vent, but that isn't here. Okay, look - maybe this will make you happy: IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHERE I END UP, JUST LEAVE ME A COMMENT WITH AN EMAIL AND I'LL LET YOU KNOW. No, don't try to email me at the blog title at gmail dot com - that won't get you anywhere. Just leave me a comment and I'll get in touch with you.

And really, thanks for everything. I mean that.