Herein lies the problem with trying to be superwoman...

...eventually, you burn the f*ck out. No, you know what? You burn the fuck out.

I started the official countdown 3 days ago...I figured I needed some extra motivation AND something to look forward to, as in: thank fuck this will be over in x days. It's helped.

And the sleeping pills have helped to.

Except tonight I'm tired. T-I-R-E-D. Tired of working. Tired of studying. Tired of working and studying. Tired of losing roughly 1 1/2 hours every day COMMUTING on the bus. Tired of trying to deal with Husband. Tired of living in an apartment building where I hear people below me and OUTSIDE YELLING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING NIGHT. (Not unlike the experience E.Spat had - and yes, I'm too TIRED to link it properly, sorry.)

And what is the last possible thing I need to have on my plate right now? Worrying about money. Yes, I'm working a lovely job and getting a nice paycheck with a fabulous 401K and health/etc. plan. However, because of this bar exam, I have to take time off. I'm actually taking 2 weeks off work (well, 9 days, but I don't really count the Friday after the bar exam because I can go in hungover and just have to get through the day)....and because I don't have enough vacation time accrued, I'm taking it UNPAID. Which basically means I'm missing 1 paycheck next month. Which in turn COMPLETELY SUCKS because rent & my whopping student loan payment are both due the first week of August. Fantastic. I'm planning to call Direct Loans tomorrow and see if they'd take a raincheck on my firstborn...or they could have Husband...just not the cat. I'm hoping I get a human with emotions and we can work something out...like let's re-commence the bending over every month in September, say.

And now I've lost some study time when I'm supposed to be getting Agency/Partnerships memorized & down cold tonight. LE BIG, FAT SIGH.

Let's all hold hands in a circle and sing kumbuya (sp?).