Back...?

Well howdy there. How have you all been?


I've been busy.

What have I been busy doing?


Keeping my job admist all the layoffs happening.
Having a fabulous tropical vacation.
Enjoying the holidays.

Oh, and being pregnant.

Out of commission...

So my computer is ONCE AGAIN back at the doctor's. I will *never* purchase another Compaq piece of crap!

In other news, I've got some stuff going on - personal, not work. I'm not really sure how much, if any, I want to disclose...

stay tuned.

Posting may be on hiatus for a while.

It's time for a Rant!

Okay, so, I'm all for spreading our businesses and call centers all over the world, but there comes a point when it's completely counter-productive.

Take this morning, for example.

I am supposed to be "working from home" today, because we have our final walk-through at the house and are signing docs today. What with the wonky bus schedules and the cost of parking downtown, my awesome boss agreed to let me work from home.

In preparation for today (and Thursday, when we get the key to the house!, and then one day next week when I have some doctors' visits), I put in all sorts of requests for the software, etc., that would allow me to successfully work from home. This process alone involved me spending about 45 minutes on the phone with our technology support people in India. Sigh. As frustrating as that was, it eventually got worked out and I was given instructions on what to do this morning to log into the work network from home.

I think I should probably insert here that I'm not necessarily technologically inclined.

Well, this morning I attempt to log on and utilize this wireless access thing so I can actually work from home. I get nowhere, and end up spending 70 minutes on the phone with India, trying to get it sorted out. My rant with them is this: WHY THE HELL DON'T THEY USE THEIR BRAINS AND INSIST ON READING A STUPID SCRIPT?!??? Seriously, when I tell you something and you ask me the same question 3 more times, THERE'S A SERIOUS LACK OF COMMUNICATION!!!

And please, tell me to do the same fucking thing 5 more times, because OH MY GOSH, a miracle might happen and this time I might just get a different result. I'm now waiting for the tech people here in Seattle to call me and walk me through this. Yes, I finally got them to escalate the call back to people who will understand what I am saying.

I don't mean to seem like a terrible person, but it's so incredibly frustrating to already be having a tech problem, and know you have to call India where you'll "talk" to someone who more than likely won't be able to help you, and you'll have just wasted an hour or more of your life. I get that it shouldn't make me so angry, but I just don't start feeling particularly patient when you refuse to LISTEN to what I'm saying and keep reading off your script, when I'm telling you IT'S NOT WORKING.

Argh.

Oh, and the topper - they wanted to know what my IP address was for the computer - when I kept saying I'M TRYING TO CONNECT TO THE EFFING INTERNET AT HOME. Because listening is overrated.

Well I didn't go away forever...

Sorry. I've been busy.

I've been working lots, visiting family, obviously NOT blogging.

My computer has also been sent away to get fixed...yet again. Stupid Compaq laptop piece of crap.

We are closing on the house in 2 weeks. YAY!

We're also purchasing three appliances: a refrigerator (bottom freezer, yay!), a washer and a dryer. I'm so excited - the washer & dryer are both front-load, and I'm splurging and getting the risers they sit on.

I guess I just haven't been feeling very talkative...

How is everyone?

Oh, another business trip? But, already?

Yes, that's right. I'm leaving again tomorrow to go on another business trip. I feel like I just got home, and I'm really not ready to leave again.

Sunday night when I went to check into my hotel they screwed up, were completely booked, and I had to spend 2 hours on the phone (most of it on hold, listening to terrible elevator music) with Expedia Corporate Travel while they tried to find me another room. I was not amused.

Tomorrow night I'm supposed to be checking into the same hotel I didn't actually get into last week. I've called the hotel directly twice to confirm - think I should call again just to be safe?

My boss let me fly home this week on Thursday, since my anniversary was Friday, which was so nice. My anniversary was really nice - we went to a fantastic little Italian restaurant, and when I got home from work on Friday I found almost 2 dozen roses waiting for me, along with a fantastic bottle of wine. I have the best husband, period.

And that just makes the fact that I have to leave tomorrow morning that much more difficult. That, and th fact that I missed my kittens an awful lot. Sigh. Hopefully after this week I won't have to travel for a while again. I can be hopeful, right?

Yay! My first business trip!

So tomorrow I leave on my first business trip. I'm quite excited - I feel so...official. I don't actually have to go until tomorrow, but going a day early allows me to spend a little time with one of my good friends! I'm sure the novelty of the trip will wear off soon enough, but for now I'm excited.

For a while now I've been sort of on the fence about what to do with this blog. I don't really feel like I can write about my job (which I love), and that sort of leaves me bereft of what to say. I try to write, but feel boring, unwitty, uninteresting. As much as I don't want to write uninteresting, I wouldn't want to read uninteresting. So do I keep writing sporadically, when I get inspired? Is that allowed? I can't imagine leaving this blog - packing up and leaving.

Thoughts? Anyone?

And this is how I became snazzy-pants.

We bought a house! Yay!

I started my new job! Yay!

I got the most perfect pair of shoes today! Yay!


So, the house! We are buying a brand-new townhouse. It's being built right now, in fact, and when we went up to visit it on Tuesday night they'd just put the insulation in. It's theoretically going to be finished September 3rd, we're just hoping we close in September. We are SO excited to see an end to apartment-living. It's going to be AWESOME!

My job - I love it! It's the first job I've ever had where I've not been counting down the minutes until time to go home, and I'm really enjoying my time there and what I'm doing. It's such a great feeling. I mean, it's been 3 years coming, essentially.

The shoes - sigh... Have you ever had one of those shoe experiences where you find the most perfect shoes and if you don't buy them right then (because you're trying to be responsible and sleep on it - decide if you really can afford them) you can't stop thinking about them? That was these shoes. Of course I'm a bit crazy about shoes - one of my friends says shoes are my kryptonite, and I agree with her. Here's the thing - if you're feeling icky about your body and none of your clothes are fitting, if you put on a great pair of shoes you feel fabulous and look pulled together. And shoes will never make you feel fat.

I saw these black, leather, sling-back peep-toe heels at Banana Republic and decided to wait and think about it. I couldn't stop thinking about them. No really, I was thinking about them instead of going to sleep at night. So I went and got them today! I absolutely love them, and even Husband agrees that they are awesome shoes. I'm going to look ridiculously snazzy-pants on Monday. I'll try to post a picture of them soon, but if you go here, mine are black. I love the silver, but with an impending mortgage, black is much more practical. Go ahead and drool.

Oh, and you know I had to wait to purchase the shoes until today - the luckiest day of the year.

What a Monday!

What could possibly make a Monday better?

How about having an iron fall from a top shelf and smack you in the face with the pointy end, leaving a lovely, deep, gushing blood gouge right as you have to run for the bus?

Works for me!

At least now we know that liquid Band-Aid works!

Yay!

Today I get sworn-in!

I am so excited!!!

Although it does feel very surreal...they're letting me get sworn-in? Really?

I'll let you know what the ceremony's like.


***
In other news, both my aunt & Husband's mom & step-dad are here, and it's like we're just here observing the Mom Show. It's been a lot of fun, though!

What do you do?

I got a bad haircut today.

This isn't such a foreign thing - I've had my share of bad haircuts.

However, I thought I'd found my hair person. Every haircut I've gotten from her has been awesome.

Today that all ended.

I said I just wanted a trim and I ended up with layers. And the worst thing is that the top layers are uneven - my left side is shorter than my right. I'm so upset. The whole reason I got the haircut is because they take your picture at the swearing-in ceremony on Monday. I was trying to grow my hair out a bit, and now I'm afraid when I go back to get it fixed (better be tomorrow), she'll have to cut it shorter to fix it. I'm so upset.

I don't want to go back to her now because I don't trust her. I mean, she screwed up my hair today, so how do I know she'll be back to her usual form and fix it properly?

Ugh.

I HATE having bad hair that I hate.

Good news!

I got the job!!!

My future boss called me himself this morning to extend the offer. I am SO excited about it! I start July 2nd. I want to say more about it but can't.

Hooray!

Pirates and interviews and mortgages, oh my!

Lots has happened in my life, and I think the best way to sum it up is via a list. I know this may seem like a cop-out, but tough - you'll just have to deal.

1. I interviewed for an internal position within my current company a week ago Friday. I should hear by Tuesday if I got it, which all signs are pointing to "YES". Apparently they want to fill the position internally & I'm the only internal candidate they were considering (as of last week, that could have changed); also, I guess all the feedback from my interview has been really good, so keep your fingers crossed. I'd be doing cool things like reseach (yes, I'm actually excited about it). While I wouldn't be practicing, per se, the only reason I was considered for this position is because I passed the bar and will be sworn-in shortly. And the direction they want this position to go in would involve giving legal advice, so it's all cool as far as I'm concerned. And it'd be a lot more money that I'm currently making, which is good!

2. Last night we went to see Pirates. It was wildly entertaining and I enjoyed it...of course any amount of time spent starting at Mr. Depp is considered a success in my book. (He's always #1 on my List.) And um, HELLO, can we talk for just a minute about how hot Orlando has gotten? Husband reached over and wiped the drool from my chin at one point...I don't know what happened, but I think he might be a contender for a spot on my List.

3. Friday evening we went to see one of the Seattle International Film Festival movies - Death at a Funeral. HIGH-larious. Seriously, one of the funniest movies I've seen in a while. I would strongly recommend going to see it! Husband & I laughed our way nearly through the entire film, and at one point I was laughing so hard I was crying. It was awesome. I highly recommend it.

4. In perhaps the biggest news of the last few weeks, Husband & I put an offer on a townhouse today. It's terrifying and exciting. We don't know if we'll get it because there's already an offer on it, but it's contingent upon them selling their house. Now that we've put in our offer, they have 5 days to clear up their contingency or we get it. Since weekends don't count, they have until Friday at 9:00pm to sell their house. I'm trying to remain very phlegmatic about the whole thing because there's a good chance we won't get it. I'm trying to retain the attitude that if it's supposed to happen, it will.

5. Swearing-in!!! I get sworn-in on Monday, the 11th. This Thursday, my aunt is flying in from Chicago, and on Friday evening, Husband's mom & step-dad are flying in. They're all leaving the next Tuesday, so it's going to be a fun weekend of family. The last time my aunt & mother-in-law were together was at our wedding, so they're really excited to see each other, too.

I think that about covers it. Send me/us good wishes for me getting that job and the house!

I quiver for you, oh brave California peeps!

I remember what this was like...counting down the minutes, trying not to die, hating the evil CA bar examiners for having the balls of steel to make it a minute-by-minute countdown for bar results.

For all of you waiting on results, my hat is off to you. You are brave, and you'll be fine, no matter what happens! Hugs!

***
In other news, I interviewed today for an internal position at my current company. It'd be in a completely different part of the company, and sounds like it would be a great fit for me. Oh, and the fact that I'd be making a LOT more bank in the new position doesn't hurt! I have a really good shot of getting it because (a) I'm licensed (okay, WILL be as of June 11th), and (b) the manager wants to hire internally and according to the recruiter, I'm the only internal candidate he's considering. In a shocking turn of events, he wants to move quickly with this; I guess he'll be out of the office the first 2 weeks of June and wants to decide before then. Which means next week. Augh! So keep your fingers & toes crossed that I'll be relaying some very good news a week from today!

Life on the other side!

So here's how it all went down on Saturday. I kept thinking I was going to lose my breakfast, and decided to check the state bar website for shits and giggles. As soon as I saw the link for the results, my heart nearly stopped. No, really, I thought I was going to go into cardiac arrest. I finally scrolled down and as soon as I saw MY NAME WAS ON THE PASS LIST I burst into tears and sobbed (and sobbed and sobbed). I've never cried that hard over happy news! I just couldn't believe it. I kept making Husband pinch me. I'm still feeling emotional whenever I stop and realize I PASSED. I finally printed off the pass list so I wouldn't keep going back to the website to make sure my name is still on the list. It's just the most surreal, fantastic, amazing, humbling, gratifying, vindicating, AWESOME feeling ever. I'm just so grateful I passed. And so excited!

And can I tell you how much fun job hunting is now?!? I spent a good deal of time this weekend looking at the jobs that are out there. I met with another recruiter today; so far, none of them are telling me the relationship is exclusive, so I'm fully enjoying whoring it out with every agency I can, as well as any and all contacts I have. I really want to do estate planning (with maybe some land use thrown in), so I'm now turning my powers on to envisioning my future job and salary, etc., and I can't wait to start interviewing.

Oh, and how did I celebrate? I had wine and good food and champagne and shopping and sleeping and being lazy and napping! I got an awesome, brand new suit, and Husband got me a gorgeous new watch. I feel so professional and spiffy now! Also, tomorrow night Husband & I are going to see the touring cast of RENT! I'm so excited about seeing RENT! that I have to add the exclamation point. RENT! Yipee!!!

I guess I could sum all this up by saying that I've been disgustingly, deliriously happy all damn day. I'm just so buyouantly happy that I felt like I was floating all day. I tell you what, this is one of the BEST feelings I've ever had; I wish I could bottle it up and pull it out on crappy days.

I'm also excited because being licensed means I'll get to fulfill a very long-held dream to volunteer at a women's shelter, in a legal capacity. I can't wait to get started on that!

OH - I got Tori's new CD today; it fucking ROCKS! Go get it immediately!

SAY WHAT!!!!

I PASSED THE BAR!
I PASSED THE BAR!
I PASSED THE BAR!
I PASSED THE BAR!
I PASSED THE BAR!

Please place your tray table in the up-right position and firmly grab your vomit bags...

We're down to a matter of hours.

I am fucking freaking out.

I keep having waves of nausea wash over me.

I was feeling only mildly terrified until I decided to catch up on my blog reading...and discovered someone who found out they hadn't passed. I don't know what state they took, but it's just so sucky. And reading their post resulted in the bottom of my stomach dropping out, and ever since I've been vacillating between: being "calm" and being able to tell myself I'm going to be FINE because I KNOW I PASSED and almost bursting into tear and needing to run to the bathroom and loose my breakfast.

I'm just so terrified and worried and OHMYGOD CAN THIS JUST BE OVER WITH ALREADY.

Which is why I'm trying to distract myself with a terrible movie on USA - "The Triangle"...it's a bad movie at it's best.

Regardless of whether or not I actually do throw up in the next approximately 2 hours, I am ready for this to be over and to start the serious partying.

Countdown...and...GO!

Isn't there a song to the effect of "hey hey wait a minute Mr. Postman..."?

Well, on Saturday, my postman will be bringing me a Very Important Letter. VIL. Namely, this VIL will begin with "Congratulations...". My PASS! letter! Part of me CANNOT WAIT! Woo-hoo! I'll get to par-tay down like a rock star on Cinco de Mayo!

On the other hand...the closer it gets the more I fill with nervous energy/anxiety/dread.

I think I am excited because I am going to have ALCOHOL on Saturday! Yay! I haven't really been drinking since November - it's a calorie thing. I've been doing a lot of serious exercising and calorie-counting - even keeping a food diary. Oh, I'm totally hardcore. :)

Where the hell have I been?!?

Well.

I have returned.

At least for the moment.

Best Buy has my computer hostage. Or, rather, they sent it back to the factory to get fixed. It was supposed to be a 5-7 day trip... it's going on like 2 1/2 weeks. Sigh.

What have I been doing?

Well, I have just been. I have officially reached my tolerance for my current job. I am essentially a secretary (although that's not my title), and I'm so fucking sick and tired of doing it. On Tuesday I went to see a recruiter/headhunter. Bar results come out in 21 days and I am eagerly awaiting my pass letter (I've been using the law of attraction).

I know it's usually better in retrospect, but I just can't fathom that point of view right now. And while, in theory, it's nice to work for a large (mammoth?) company, I'd gladly trade the benefits for a job I enjoy and look forward to. There's a big difference between having a job and a career, and I'm ready to have a career.

And don't even get me started on my 2 bosses. Suffice it to say, I have a mental notebook full of things not to do when I'm the boss.

I am trying to stay positive and focus on the fact that there's an end in sight, even if I can't see that right now. And I'm really trying to visualize being in my ideal job in 6 weeks. That may seem a bit lofty, but anything is possible, right?

Computer too attitudinal for use!

Sigh.

My computer is being retarded again.

It's doing that thing where it won't charge even though it's plugged in.

This time I think it's a connectivity issue and it'll have to get sent in... sigh.


In other news, my parents are in the area. I have also seen firsthand how much of a stress eater I am. Holy cow. I don't really have a great relationship with my parents, and honestly I can't wait for them to go home. And they're down at my sister's right now. I haven't really drank since November (there was an, um, incident that may or may not have involved an emergency room and absolutely no memory of a flight. ahem.) but since my parents flew in I have been drinking again. Alcohol is one of the only ways to deal with my parents. They're leaving on Monday (after a week and a half!) and I tell you what, I don't think I've ever looked so forward to a monday before. I don't mean to sound like an ingrate...I'm just being honest.

300... reasons to love blood?

I went to see the movie 300 tonight. I figure after all the movies Husband has seen for me, I owed him this.

I had a few thoughts...

Who is that actress? She looks like Brooke Shields. Except her voice doesn't sound like that. Who is she?

He might want to see a dentist about those teeth and gums.

Okay, he's cute, but he always plays a slimey character. And what movie have I seen him in?

Are all those 6-pack abs airbrushed on or done with computer?

Holy risk of hepatitis, Batman! Seriously, close your mouth - all that blood flying around just isn't sanitary.

Can I look yet? Is this current massacre on a pause yet?

Overall, aside from being incredibly blood-filled, it was kind of a cool looking movie. It was still awfully gore-filled.

Cunning verbal linguist

"I am more than sufficiently fine."

"These last few twitch-inducing years with Bush as our president."

Oh yes, cunning linguist am I. Your knees should be sqeaking with awe and dread.

Obviously I have gone mad.

I can't do anything but sleep!!!

I don't remember the last time I slept so much or felt so tired! Yesterday I slept in, took a marathon nap in the afternoon, and by 10:00 pm I was exhausted. This morning I woke up early (I still got 9 hours of sleep last night), finished the novel I started last night, cleaned the apartment (FINALLY!), and when I got out of spending a half hour in Old Navy buying some much needed new work clothes, I felt exhausted again.

What the hell.

I guess my body is still decompressing from the exam.

The exam itself was good - I feel great! The first morning I nearly didn't make it; the alarm FAILED! TO! GO! OFF! It was set, checked, double checked, triple checked, so it was a fluke. I woke up 20 minutes after I had wanted to leave, and ran into traffic in my mad rush to make it to the convention center. I don't remember if I even stopped to put deodorant on, but I made it with 10 minutes left of registration. If I hadn't made it in time, I wouldn't have been able to take the test.

There were also a few moments where my computer decided to not recognize it was plugged in, but WE MADE IT THROUGH, my computer & I!

So now I'm just looking forward to receiving my "Congratulations..." letter. And yes, I'm visualizing it every day! I know my test is now in the hands of the graders, but I don't see any reason why I can't still use The Secret (you know, that Law of Attraction?). If I receive the thoughts I send out, then I'm definitely going to keep visualizing my congrats letter. As all of you should, too!

I watched 2 Harry Potter movies since the exam! Lovely! I've read an entire novel! Wonderful! I've done a thorough cleaning of my apartment! Clean is good! I've almost finished with ALL the laundry! Yay for clean clothes! And perhaps the most exciting of all, I have new clothes to wear to work this week! HOORAY for new clothes! I'm going to look spiffy this week - I may even break out my pearls - wooot!

The thought of having tomorrow evening totally free - not that I was naughty and took a weekend off, but that I'm done studying! Hee! The thought makes me feel downright giddy! If I wasn't so tired, I'd want to stay up late and enjoy the recklessness of it. :) However, I have decided to swear off Starbucks - my bank account & my thighs could use the break, so no frouffy drink for me tomorrow...which means I need to go to bed now. And I think I just heard the dryer stop, which means I can put clean sheets on the bed. I heart sleeping in a bed with dryer-fresh sheets.

What About Bob?

I am watching What About Bob tonight...trying to stay calm, zen-like, cool, collected...keep the chaos quieted to a dull roar.

I'm trying not to be nervous, or at least not let the nervousness be anything other than extra energy.

I'm trying to remember The Secret and staying positive...knowing I have studied, knowing I'm prepared and that I'm going to pass.

Except I still have all this nervous energy...

I'm going to pack up my stuff (computer, pens, etc.) at 8:30...pick out my clothes for tomorrow, make my sandwich. I think it's the Type A in me...

BEST OF LUCK to everyone taking the exam tomorrow. I hope we all maintain our confidence, stay focused, and have the recall we need. We're going to be FINE! Let's get in, nail the questions, and get out!

Here's to PASSING...

You know that feeling? That one feeling?

That feeling where it's like you're vibrating underneath your skin and no matter what you tried to do you wouldn't be able to do it because you can't sit still or focus because you're vibrating and on the VERGE OF PANIC?!?

That would be me right now.

I was just explaining this to one of my friends and she asked "do you feel like you could just burst into tears?" I said, no, but I see that on the horizon.

I had really wanted to get through 9 more essays today. I don't have to fully write them out, just issue spot, ideally write out the rule. The first essay I did this morning (I had a day total of 10, not unrealistic considering what's happening in like 2 1/2 MINUTES), when going through the answer, I started feeling panicky -THERE'S NO WAY I CAN RECALL EVERYTHING. AUGH!

I'm trying to focus on the fact that I will recall what I need to, when I need to. I have studied. I have memorized. I have written lots and lots of practice essays. My tutor says I'm going to be fine, and I suppose she would know! But still the panic.

I'm trying especially hard to use The Secret today (you know, that law of attraction thing? Oprah had a show on it recently?), and not let the panic and fear overtake me... I am going to be fine. I will be able to recall what I need, when I need it. I am going to pass. I can visualize each essay question being one I will successfully answer. I am visualizing getting my PASS! letter on May 4th. I'm going to be fine. I can do it.

That helps somewhat, but I'm still left with the question - what do I do today and tomorrow that will be effective and a not me just feeding the panic? (Aside from psyching my cats out with the laser pointer toy, I mean.)

Oh, the savagery...savagry? Um, how about "oh, the oh"

Today I called in sick. Yesterday I was feeling itchy about the exam and thought taking today off to study would help me feel less itchy. It did.

I did a record 14 essays today. Jeebus. I am F-R-I-E-D. My fingers would not like to type anymore today, thank you very much.

I was hoping to actually do at least 2 more essays, but my fingers got together with my brain and they had a mutiny. I could almost feel my brain screeching to a halt. And as you can see from my inability to spell one of those words in my title, my brain has already gone off to bed for the night.

Sigh.

I am going to be SUCH a happy camper next week!!! Hallelujah!

Computer: Thou Art Healed!!!

Well well well.

It would appear a new power adaptor has SOLVED the problem!

I actually received my mother-in-law's spare laptop yesterday, so if this hadn't worked, I would have still been able to type. However, it's still a *HUGE* relief to know I can use my own computer!

I guess that's all I have to say about that...very anticlimactic, don't you think? Ah well, better this than me having to be prevented from throwing my laptop off my balcony.

***
In other news, some completely bogus company by the name of "leanrx.net" somehow got our credit card information and charged almost $250. Husband noticed it when he freaked out about our credit card bill (we don't use it - just for auto-monthly payments). Apparently, there are tons of people who have been ripped-off by this bogus company, and there's no way to contact them. Evidently all phone numbers are just automated, and all emails get bounced back. I'm just glad they got our credit card info instead of our debit card info! That would be terrible.

Anyways, you should all carefully read over your statements - bank and otherwise. Oh, and I guess this bogus company also has the name "Dreamsmile" and sells hoodia diet pills. Oh, and you never actually get any merchandise for what you're being billed for. Good thing I'm not upset and seriously thinking about getting one of my licensed cohorts to sign an angry lawyer letter.

A few things I'd like to say to Bill Gates or How to have a breakdown 2 weeks before the bar exam or how attractive a plain old pen looks about now

Slightly more than 2 weeks prior to the bar exam is not a good time to be having laptop problems.

I've known for a little while now that I need to get a new battery, as mine refuses to hold a charge for more than an hour and a half, which won't get me through the exam. However, last week, my computer decided to ramp up my stress level by not recognizing it was plugged it when it was plugged in. This is a problem.

I went to Best Buy and they don't know if it's my power adaptor or where it connects into my computer. They are getting me a new battery & a new power adaptor ('cuz it's still under warranty, thank goodness!), but they won't know until it gets here. When will it get here? Don't know. Because I'm getting it under the warranty, I can't pay for expedited shipping. It should be sent out on Monday, and should get here around Thursday.

If the power adaptor doesn't fix the problem, they'll have to SEND AWAY MY COMPUTER, which would probably leave me WITHOUT a computer for the exam...which I am supposed to be TYPING.

So, what do I do, what do I do. I mean, aside from cry in the middle of Best Buy. I decide perhaps I should get a backup computer - not open it or anything until I find out of my computer is okay, but have it for peace of mind. Because that is pricess at this stage in the game.

That would be very fine and well (aside from the fact I'd be out quite a bit of money), except every SINGLE LAPTOP FOR SALE IN A STORE comes with VISTA OPERATING SYSTEM. Does Examsoft work on Vista? NO, BECAUSE THAT WOULD MAKE SENSE. Examsoft only works on Windows 2000 or XP. Best Buy still sells XP, but in order for that to be an option, I'd have to buy the computer with Vista, buy XP, and pay the Geek Squad to install it. Then if my computer turned out to be totally fine with just a new power adaptor, I'd be out the money I spent on the software & the Geek Squad, not to mention the restocking fee Best Buy would charge me if I returned the laptop.

Best Buy can order specialized laptop with XP on it, but I COULDN'T RETURN IT. No really. They told me if I did that I would not be able to return it. I laughed a little hysterically and told them "THAT'S NOT EVEN COMMERCIALLY REASONABLE!!!"

I came home, and there are only two computer companies that even offer XP as the operating system anymore - Gateway and Sony. The Dell salesperson laughed at me over the phone when I asked about XP instead of Vista.

And if I were to order a Gateway or Sony laptop, there's still the issue of getting it time. Not to mention the fact that I haven't been able to get in touch with Examsoft people about re-downloading it, which I'm not even slightly prepared to deal with at this point.

Here's what I'd like to say to Mr. Bill Gates: WHO'S BRILLIANT IDEA WAS IT TO RELEASE VISTA 2 MONTHS BEFORE THE BAR EXAM?!??? Seriously! If you could have waited until March I'd have no problem with you. None. It's obvious you and your marketing team (or whomever decided January was a good release month) have no thought for the fact that there are thousands of bar takers depending on your keeping us supplied with XP through this exam, at least until Examsoft gets on board with your operating system.

I could use Husband's mac laptop (if the WSBA allows mac usage), but his adaptor is currently being held together with tape. No, I'm not kidding.

As it turns out, in a very anti-climactic but seriously relieving solution, my mother-in-law is sending me one of her many extra laptops - the newest one. It has XP on it. She is a fucking lifesaver! Seriously. When she told Husband she'd send me one of her laptops to use, I cried hot tears of relief - I didn't even realize how stressed out I was about it until I was able to be relieved! (I mean, aside from my little "episodic" breakdown in Best Buy.) Still, however, this has brought to light how ridiculous this really is. Using my laptop was supposed to make this whole process easier, not make me want to tear out my eyebrows and run back to the hand cramps of pens.

having ONE OF THOSE DAYS...

..wherein every fucking thing is driving me fucking mad!

-the fact that I have to work as an assistant

-2 of the 3 girls I'm in a "cube-box" with drive me crazy

-1 of the above-mentioned girls does this SUPER fucking annoying thing where EVERY SINGLE FUCKING TIME she's on the phone, she rubs her hands together. how do I know? the SOUND drives me fucking NUTS

-the same hand-rubbing girl has one of THE MOST obnoxious laughs ever.

-this is the same girl who leave her cell phone on audible ring DESPITE my asking her to put it on vibrate AND despite her leaving little post-it notes for me to LEAVE MY CELL PHONE ON SOMETHING SOFT SO WHEN IT VIBRATES, IT'S NOT NOISY. how fucking rude.

-oh, and the ring tone of her work phone is also driving me FUCKING batty.

-both of my bosses are driving me FUCKING batty.

-the fact that I just ate my lunch and then DEVOURED 2 normal-sized cookies, must to the distending of my belling and ensuing uncomfortably bloated and full feeling.

-the fact that I am so sore this morning I decided not to work out and go shopping instead.

-the fact that every single piece of crap clothing that I tried on at Macy's while shopping in their 50-75% off sale section fit my body like fucking crap, and that sizes keep fucking getting smaller because I am WORKING my ass off at the gym and I'm still not seeing smaller pant-sizes. what the FUCK is up with that

-my skin. my skin is absolutely making me batty and I want to itch it off.

-my scalp. being lazy and trying to be nicer to my hair, I didn't wash my hair this morning (or even get it wet), as I washed it twice yesterday (yesterday morning & then at the gym); instead, I straight-ironed my hair so it would look nice because I knew I wouldn't be going to the gym and consequently having to shower. and now my scalp is ITCHY.

-the fact that I took the fucking time to straight-iron my hair when all my clothes make me feel dumpy, schlumpy, and not at all sleek and sophisticated. since the sleek and sophisticated clothes are all TOO FUCKING SMALL.

-further, the fact that my straight-ironed bangs contain 1 obnoxiously hostile piece that keeps falling in my fucking eyes and refuses to stay with the rest of the bangs.

-the fact that I can't control my fucking apetite and eat like I'm feeding the whole herd (which coincidentally apparently happens to be: my gut, my hips, both thighs, my upper arms, and my upper legs)

-the fact that I still have feelings of tiredness despite having slept 3 nights in a row (thank you, ambien).

-the fact that my fucking job is SO FUCKING BORING that I maybe, maybe have enough actual work to fill about 23 minutes in a day.

-the fact that when I call my local pharmacy to refill a prescription (ambien), the automated system uses the word "TELEMANDER". seriously.

***
And how are all of you?

Alls I gots ta say...

...is that in about 10 minutes, I am fully intending to be in bed, soundly asleep. I've had absolute crap sleep the last 2 nights, and the turbo kick box class I did today at the gym totally kicked my ass. I'm sore, tired, grouchy, and I'M GOING TO BED.

But first, I have to vent a bit. I work for a few people, and one of those people (not my main boss) is BITCH. B-I-T-C-H. I know I resolved not to blog about work because we've all heard about Dooce - but I just can't help myself at the moment. She is seriously the MOST difficult person I've had to work for in a long time. In all seriousness, I think she would probably benefit from medication...I know I'd benefit from her being on meds!!!

(Now let's just hope this doesn't get me Dooced, although I don't think anyone at work is aware of this site.)

Things that would have been nice...

At the risk of sounding ungrateful, I have a few things to vent about concerning my birthday. The following two (2) items really could have added to the already wonderful day that was my Birthday.

1. Having my bosses (I have two of them) at least acknowledge my birthday. I wasn't asking for gifts, nothing crazy, just perhaps a card...definitely a "happy birthday". Did that happen? NO. Not even after I brought in a cake (I got an extra one - long story) and sent them an email - hey, there's cake in the kitchen in honor of my birthday yesterday. I even had one of my bosses tell me "mmm, great cake!" and continue walking down the hall. No, I am not lying. I suppose what makes this even more maddening for me is the fact that overall, my bosses are very nice people; anyone within our little group (which is a subgroup of a much larger group) who has a birthday gets something from my boss. Also, the group always signs a group birthday card for that person. Did I even get a group birthday card? NO. I'm now thinking I'll feel that much less badly about jumping ship once I'm licensed.

2. Actually receiving my birthday package from a good friend of mine. Apparently, FedEx left it at my door at 10:55 am on Friday morning. When I got home, it wasn't there. It would appear that someone stole it. I LOVE LIVING WITH THIEVES! At least the company is sending a replacement gift to a store near me so I can go pick it up. And at least I've learned to NEVER have anything sent to my home unless my signature is required. Ridiculous.

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!

Today has been AWESOME. Aside from getting up way too early because of the phone ringing (someone on the East code to tell me Happy Birthday!) - once the phone rang & I stayed awake because I was so excited it was my birthday! But I compensated that up-too-early by having a FANTASTIC 2 hour nap this afternoon. It was AWESOME. We went out for Waffles, then we went to REI to pick up a birthday present for me from my parents (camping gear, Woo-Hoo!), then to pick up a ring that was being repaired, then (drum roll, please) to the outlet mall for one specific store: Coach. I got the cutest pink Coach wallet! And I saved MORE than I spent! Which is a great feeling to have any day, much less on your birthday! Oh, and Husband got me a Coach purse - he's so good! He also brought me a dozen roses...I think I'll keep him. :-)

In any event, I'm about to take my new purse & wallet out to a lovely dinner at one of my favorite Italian joints (Maggiano's Little Italy).

Last night we went to a movie - The Pursuit of Happyness. It is probably one of the best movies I've seen! You should all go see it!

Okay, I'm off to eat CARBS, BEAUTIFUL CARBS! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

KITTEN LUV!

Here are my kitties, Cooper Rufus on the Left, Jiminy Cricket on the right, totally busted in mid-cuddle. In fact, I don't think Jiminy could be cuddled any closer to Cooper, who seems to be on the fence about whether to let himself enjoy it and go to sleep, or get the hell out. Turns out he went with the former option, and they were both soon soundly asleep. More often than not, this is what I come home to every day. How lucky am I?

Do you suppose they'll cuddle with me on my birthday on Sunday? (And here you were wondering how I was going to work in mentioning my birthday...fear not, I'll always find a way!)

HA!

Secured Transactions can KISS MY GLOWING WHITE BIRTHDAY ASS.

HA!

HEAR ME ROAR! R-O-A-R!

I am SUPERWOMAN. Today, not only did I completely finish AND PUT AWAY all the laundry (a *huge* feat!), but I accomplished 9 of the 11 essays on my to-do list. And the house is clean (thank you, Husband), and there are clean sheets on the bed (thank you, me), and I'm only a half-hour late to bed.

However, today commences the WEEK OF MY BIRTHDAY, so I'm allowed to stay up late. Ha! That's right, you will get to hear about my birthday all week. I know it's not until next Sunday, but I'm a firm believer of the week-long-birthday school of thought.

Okay, I am tired, though, and I'm going to purposely ignore the fact that the last load of towels just finished in the dryer (okay, so I lied about having finished all the laundry) and go to bed. I even get to sleep in a little bit tomorrow morning - I don't have to go straight to work because I have to go to the doctor's. Hooray for sick time!

Holy Crap

A co-worker I sit next to asked me today in a very nonchalant, calm voice, "so, when is the bar exam again?"

I say the dates, and then at the calendar... and see to my absolute nausea that it's only approximately 5 1/2 weeks away. Fuck fuck fuck fuckity fuck!!! Holy crap - where is the time going? If only I didn't have to work right now. Sigh. Why is money so evil? I am on a reduced work schedule so I get home earlier and have more time in the evenings, but still...I'm SO envious of all of those people who just have to get up, perhaps go to a Bar/Bri lecture, and get the REST OF THE ENTIRE DAY to study!

I did come home and just finished a good, solid evening of studying. And I really want to go sit in front of the TV for a spell, but I've stayed up late every night this week and am TIRED, and I have to be somewhat well rested tomorrow, as I have to come home and write essays like a madwoman. I already have my second set of essays due for my tutor this weekend.

Oh, and my birthday is in just over a week. My golden birthday...wherein I turn 28 on the 28th. I'm not feeling AT ALL thrilled about this birthday. In fact, I'd prefer if it didn't come at all - just stay right where you are! However, that doesn't have any impact whatsoever on my ability to accept, nay, cherish, presents. In fact, lots and lots and lots of presents would surely ease this, don't you think? I'm sure lots of you will think I'm silly for feeling all terrified of turning 28; it's not because I'll be 28, it's because 30 is that much more real. And seriously, when the hell am I going to get my shit together and pass the damn bar exam already? Bloody hell.

Personally, I can't think of anything more fun...

...than to spend a day off from work (work Holiday today) sitting in my pajamas, studying for the bar exam. Seriously. I mean, taking a nap? watching TV? playing with the cats? going shoe shopping? picking my nose? PSHAW!

Although I haven't exactly spent the day thus far studying...oh, I have for the past 20 minutes or so. See, by the time I actually dragged my sorry ass out of bed, I then had to sit in front of the TV watching VH1 music videos for an hour and a half (my time was rewarded - I saw the new U2 video!), catching up on news (only fluffy entertainment gossip), and then talking to a friend for almost an hour. And then just as I was about to get serious, Husband came home for lunch so there went another half hour. Just so many demands on my time! Sheesh! What's a girl to do?!?

So now I'm about to do my first set of essays to turn in to my tutor. I'm supposed to do them in exam-simulated conditions - I suppose my burning scented candles (where would I be without my non-vegan-approved Yankee candles?) & drinking hot tea while wearing pajamas and slippers doesn't exactly count! Oh well - I'll do them without cheating and timed. Sigh. At least it's only 3 questins, so that's only 2 hours & 15 minutes.

And after that, you ask? Do I get to go watch some '80's movies? No! No Pretty In Pink for me today. I get to tackle Admin Law next. My toes are quivering with excitement. I know you're all unbelievably jealous. It's okay - I won't tell a soul.

It's a Saturday Night: do you know where your pajamas are?

Hooray for an entire Saturday spent in pajamas!

I did manage to study - I actually kept on track with my schedule, and even got in a lovely 2 1/2 hour nap! What ridiculousness! I felt so indulgent...it was wonderful.

And now I'm currently in the midst of obsessively watching U2's new video on You Tube - Window in the Skies. It's fucking AWESOME! If I wasn't still in my pajamas and it wasn't almost 10:oo at night, I'd go out and buy the single. Yes yes yes I know I could just get it on iTunes, but when it comes to matters of U2, I need to physically have it in my grubby little hands - it's just part of the magic. Sort of how I still like the process of dropping off film and going to get it in a few days. Not really convenient, but so much more magical!

So go now and do your duty as a human - go to You Tube and check out the video. Not only is it an awesome song, it's an awesome fucking video!

Back in the saddle again...

Liveblogging writing an essay:

Typing makes it appear as though I have a helluva lot less to say! (And yes, I did have a lot less to say - I came up about 2600 characters less than the allotted maximum number. Guess I better work on some serious issue spotting!!! Um, and add to that proper rule recitation!)

Getting back into writing essays again is RIDICULOUS. I know the first few are always the hardest, but this first essay makes me want lay on the floor and have a temper tantrum! Scratch that, it makes me want to take a sharp stick to the eye. I feel like I don't know anything, and I just did a little outline prior to doing this essay. I keep having to fight the urge to look at my notes!

***
This time around I'm tempting the gods and Murphy's Law and typing the exam. Scary, but oh well. I type SO much faster than I can write (who doesn't) that it doesn't really make sense not to type. So I'm being brave and trying it.

I'm also working with a bona fide essay tutor this time around - complete with a schedule and everything. Scary. But I think it should be good. I met with her on Sunday morning for the first time and I really like her. I think her way of approaching critiquing my writing will work well with how I learn. And I am feeling really motivated and positive (aside from the whole sharp-stick-to-the-eye bit earlier), so I'm feeling good.

I'm also feeling good because my manager approved me having a decreased work week from now until the bar exam, so I can get home earlier to study. It should (on a normal day) get me home in time to do a full hour of studying before I would usually get home. Today it took me an hour and a half just to get home, which was icky to say the least - I think everyone left work early due to forecasts of potential snow. The long bus ride did give me a chance to sleep - thank goodness for my cell phone alarm clock!

Are there any other lonely February takers out there? I at some level feel like I'm beating my head against a brick wall...on the other hand, however, this is something I want so badly that I'm not sure a brick wall would stop me. Some might call that being stubborn, I call it being tenacious. Heck, let's just call it being full to the brim of perserverance, shall we?

And then there's the times when life throws you a whole pile of poo. A stinky pile of poo.

I have had a seriously rough week. It's been one of the most emotionally draining I've had in a very, very long time.

I originally joined MySpace to reconnect with people I went to college & boarding school with - which I have. And it's been neat to get back in touch with people again. However, this week I discovered the negative side of MySpace.

I'm sure everyone has had at least one person in their life who has had an entirely evil presence. I have one. Unfortunately for me, not only was it evil, it was traumatic and took a long time for me to get to a place where I was okay again.

This person found my MySpace page. He started harassing me once again. It has been hard.


***
I'm not exactly sure why I decided to share this with you... perhaps I just needed to vent?


1/6/07 UPDATE: As two of you have suggested, I did block this person. My first inclination was to delete my MySpace account, but why should I have to do that? This person has caused me to change enough things, I'm drawing the line. I did contact authorities and got advice on how to block this person three different ways - a "blocking trifecta" if you will. There are also people monitoring him daily. It's nice to have people.