Pirates and interviews and mortgages, oh my!

Lots has happened in my life, and I think the best way to sum it up is via a list. I know this may seem like a cop-out, but tough - you'll just have to deal.

1. I interviewed for an internal position within my current company a week ago Friday. I should hear by Tuesday if I got it, which all signs are pointing to "YES". Apparently they want to fill the position internally & I'm the only internal candidate they were considering (as of last week, that could have changed); also, I guess all the feedback from my interview has been really good, so keep your fingers crossed. I'd be doing cool things like reseach (yes, I'm actually excited about it). While I wouldn't be practicing, per se, the only reason I was considered for this position is because I passed the bar and will be sworn-in shortly. And the direction they want this position to go in would involve giving legal advice, so it's all cool as far as I'm concerned. And it'd be a lot more money that I'm currently making, which is good!

2. Last night we went to see Pirates. It was wildly entertaining and I enjoyed it...of course any amount of time spent starting at Mr. Depp is considered a success in my book. (He's always #1 on my List.) And um, HELLO, can we talk for just a minute about how hot Orlando has gotten? Husband reached over and wiped the drool from my chin at one point...I don't know what happened, but I think he might be a contender for a spot on my List.

3. Friday evening we went to see one of the Seattle International Film Festival movies - Death at a Funeral. HIGH-larious. Seriously, one of the funniest movies I've seen in a while. I would strongly recommend going to see it! Husband & I laughed our way nearly through the entire film, and at one point I was laughing so hard I was crying. It was awesome. I highly recommend it.

4. In perhaps the biggest news of the last few weeks, Husband & I put an offer on a townhouse today. It's terrifying and exciting. We don't know if we'll get it because there's already an offer on it, but it's contingent upon them selling their house. Now that we've put in our offer, they have 5 days to clear up their contingency or we get it. Since weekends don't count, they have until Friday at 9:00pm to sell their house. I'm trying to remain very phlegmatic about the whole thing because there's a good chance we won't get it. I'm trying to retain the attitude that if it's supposed to happen, it will.

5. Swearing-in!!! I get sworn-in on Monday, the 11th. This Thursday, my aunt is flying in from Chicago, and on Friday evening, Husband's mom & step-dad are flying in. They're all leaving the next Tuesday, so it's going to be a fun weekend of family. The last time my aunt & mother-in-law were together was at our wedding, so they're really excited to see each other, too.

I think that about covers it. Send me/us good wishes for me getting that job and the house!

Life on the other side!

So here's how it all went down on Saturday. I kept thinking I was going to lose my breakfast, and decided to check the state bar website for shits and giggles. As soon as I saw the link for the results, my heart nearly stopped. No, really, I thought I was going to go into cardiac arrest. I finally scrolled down and as soon as I saw MY NAME WAS ON THE PASS LIST I burst into tears and sobbed (and sobbed and sobbed). I've never cried that hard over happy news! I just couldn't believe it. I kept making Husband pinch me. I'm still feeling emotional whenever I stop and realize I PASSED. I finally printed off the pass list so I wouldn't keep going back to the website to make sure my name is still on the list. It's just the most surreal, fantastic, amazing, humbling, gratifying, vindicating, AWESOME feeling ever. I'm just so grateful I passed. And so excited!

And can I tell you how much fun job hunting is now?!? I spent a good deal of time this weekend looking at the jobs that are out there. I met with another recruiter today; so far, none of them are telling me the relationship is exclusive, so I'm fully enjoying whoring it out with every agency I can, as well as any and all contacts I have. I really want to do estate planning (with maybe some land use thrown in), so I'm now turning my powers on to envisioning my future job and salary, etc., and I can't wait to start interviewing.

Oh, and how did I celebrate? I had wine and good food and champagne and shopping and sleeping and being lazy and napping! I got an awesome, brand new suit, and Husband got me a gorgeous new watch. I feel so professional and spiffy now! Also, tomorrow night Husband & I are going to see the touring cast of RENT! I'm so excited about seeing RENT! that I have to add the exclamation point. RENT! Yipee!!!

I guess I could sum all this up by saying that I've been disgustingly, deliriously happy all damn day. I'm just so buyouantly happy that I felt like I was floating all day. I tell you what, this is one of the BEST feelings I've ever had; I wish I could bottle it up and pull it out on crappy days.

I'm also excited because being licensed means I'll get to fulfill a very long-held dream to volunteer at a women's shelter, in a legal capacity. I can't wait to get started on that!

OH - I got Tori's new CD today; it fucking ROCKS! Go get it immediately!

Please place your tray table in the up-right position and firmly grab your vomit bags...

We're down to a matter of hours.

I am fucking freaking out.

I keep having waves of nausea wash over me.

I was feeling only mildly terrified until I decided to catch up on my blog reading...and discovered someone who found out they hadn't passed. I don't know what state they took, but it's just so sucky. And reading their post resulted in the bottom of my stomach dropping out, and ever since I've been vacillating between: being "calm" and being able to tell myself I'm going to be FINE because I KNOW I PASSED and almost bursting into tear and needing to run to the bathroom and loose my breakfast.

I'm just so terrified and worried and OHMYGOD CAN THIS JUST BE OVER WITH ALREADY.

Which is why I'm trying to distract myself with a terrible movie on USA - "The Triangle"...it's a bad movie at it's best.

Regardless of whether or not I actually do throw up in the next approximately 2 hours, I am ready for this to be over and to start the serious partying.

I can't do anything but sleep!!!

I don't remember the last time I slept so much or felt so tired! Yesterday I slept in, took a marathon nap in the afternoon, and by 10:00 pm I was exhausted. This morning I woke up early (I still got 9 hours of sleep last night), finished the novel I started last night, cleaned the apartment (FINALLY!), and when I got out of spending a half hour in Old Navy buying some much needed new work clothes, I felt exhausted again.

What the hell.

I guess my body is still decompressing from the exam.

The exam itself was good - I feel great! The first morning I nearly didn't make it; the alarm FAILED! TO! GO! OFF! It was set, checked, double checked, triple checked, so it was a fluke. I woke up 20 minutes after I had wanted to leave, and ran into traffic in my mad rush to make it to the convention center. I don't remember if I even stopped to put deodorant on, but I made it with 10 minutes left of registration. If I hadn't made it in time, I wouldn't have been able to take the test.

There were also a few moments where my computer decided to not recognize it was plugged in, but WE MADE IT THROUGH, my computer & I!

So now I'm just looking forward to receiving my "Congratulations..." letter. And yes, I'm visualizing it every day! I know my test is now in the hands of the graders, but I don't see any reason why I can't still use The Secret (you know, that Law of Attraction?). If I receive the thoughts I send out, then I'm definitely going to keep visualizing my congrats letter. As all of you should, too!

I watched 2 Harry Potter movies since the exam! Lovely! I've read an entire novel! Wonderful! I've done a thorough cleaning of my apartment! Clean is good! I've almost finished with ALL the laundry! Yay for clean clothes! And perhaps the most exciting of all, I have new clothes to wear to work this week! HOORAY for new clothes! I'm going to look spiffy this week - I may even break out my pearls - wooot!

The thought of having tomorrow evening totally free - not that I was naughty and took a weekend off, but that I'm done studying! Hee! The thought makes me feel downright giddy! If I wasn't so tired, I'd want to stay up late and enjoy the recklessness of it. :) However, I have decided to swear off Starbucks - my bank account & my thighs could use the break, so no frouffy drink for me tomorrow...which means I need to go to bed now. And I think I just heard the dryer stop, which means I can put clean sheets on the bed. I heart sleeping in a bed with dryer-fresh sheets.

What About Bob?

I am watching What About Bob tonight...trying to stay calm, zen-like, cool, collected...keep the chaos quieted to a dull roar.

I'm trying not to be nervous, or at least not let the nervousness be anything other than extra energy.

I'm trying to remember The Secret and staying positive...knowing I have studied, knowing I'm prepared and that I'm going to pass.

Except I still have all this nervous energy...

I'm going to pack up my stuff (computer, pens, etc.) at 8:30...pick out my clothes for tomorrow, make my sandwich. I think it's the Type A in me...

BEST OF LUCK to everyone taking the exam tomorrow. I hope we all maintain our confidence, stay focused, and have the recall we need. We're going to be FINE! Let's get in, nail the questions, and get out!

Here's to PASSING...

You know that feeling? That one feeling?

That feeling where it's like you're vibrating underneath your skin and no matter what you tried to do you wouldn't be able to do it because you can't sit still or focus because you're vibrating and on the VERGE OF PANIC?!?

That would be me right now.

I was just explaining this to one of my friends and she asked "do you feel like you could just burst into tears?" I said, no, but I see that on the horizon.

I had really wanted to get through 9 more essays today. I don't have to fully write them out, just issue spot, ideally write out the rule. The first essay I did this morning (I had a day total of 10, not unrealistic considering what's happening in like 2 1/2 MINUTES), when going through the answer, I started feeling panicky -THERE'S NO WAY I CAN RECALL EVERYTHING. AUGH!

I'm trying to focus on the fact that I will recall what I need to, when I need to. I have studied. I have memorized. I have written lots and lots of practice essays. My tutor says I'm going to be fine, and I suppose she would know! But still the panic.

I'm trying especially hard to use The Secret today (you know, that law of attraction thing? Oprah had a show on it recently?), and not let the panic and fear overtake me... I am going to be fine. I will be able to recall what I need, when I need it. I am going to pass. I can visualize each essay question being one I will successfully answer. I am visualizing getting my PASS! letter on May 4th. I'm going to be fine. I can do it.

That helps somewhat, but I'm still left with the question - what do I do today and tomorrow that will be effective and a not me just feeding the panic? (Aside from psyching my cats out with the laser pointer toy, I mean.)

Oh, the savagery...savagry? Um, how about "oh, the oh"

Today I called in sick. Yesterday I was feeling itchy about the exam and thought taking today off to study would help me feel less itchy. It did.

I did a record 14 essays today. Jeebus. I am F-R-I-E-D. My fingers would not like to type anymore today, thank you very much.

I was hoping to actually do at least 2 more essays, but my fingers got together with my brain and they had a mutiny. I could almost feel my brain screeching to a halt. And as you can see from my inability to spell one of those words in my title, my brain has already gone off to bed for the night.

Sigh.

I am going to be SUCH a happy camper next week!!! Hallelujah!

Computer: Thou Art Healed!!!

Well well well.

It would appear a new power adaptor has SOLVED the problem!

I actually received my mother-in-law's spare laptop yesterday, so if this hadn't worked, I would have still been able to type. However, it's still a *HUGE* relief to know I can use my own computer!

I guess that's all I have to say about that...very anticlimactic, don't you think? Ah well, better this than me having to be prevented from throwing my laptop off my balcony.

***
In other news, some completely bogus company by the name of "leanrx.net" somehow got our credit card information and charged almost $250. Husband noticed it when he freaked out about our credit card bill (we don't use it - just for auto-monthly payments). Apparently, there are tons of people who have been ripped-off by this bogus company, and there's no way to contact them. Evidently all phone numbers are just automated, and all emails get bounced back. I'm just glad they got our credit card info instead of our debit card info! That would be terrible.

Anyways, you should all carefully read over your statements - bank and otherwise. Oh, and I guess this bogus company also has the name "Dreamsmile" and sells hoodia diet pills. Oh, and you never actually get any merchandise for what you're being billed for. Good thing I'm not upset and seriously thinking about getting one of my licensed cohorts to sign an angry lawyer letter.

A few things I'd like to say to Bill Gates or How to have a breakdown 2 weeks before the bar exam or how attractive a plain old pen looks about now

Slightly more than 2 weeks prior to the bar exam is not a good time to be having laptop problems.

I've known for a little while now that I need to get a new battery, as mine refuses to hold a charge for more than an hour and a half, which won't get me through the exam. However, last week, my computer decided to ramp up my stress level by not recognizing it was plugged it when it was plugged in. This is a problem.

I went to Best Buy and they don't know if it's my power adaptor or where it connects into my computer. They are getting me a new battery & a new power adaptor ('cuz it's still under warranty, thank goodness!), but they won't know until it gets here. When will it get here? Don't know. Because I'm getting it under the warranty, I can't pay for expedited shipping. It should be sent out on Monday, and should get here around Thursday.

If the power adaptor doesn't fix the problem, they'll have to SEND AWAY MY COMPUTER, which would probably leave me WITHOUT a computer for the exam...which I am supposed to be TYPING.

So, what do I do, what do I do. I mean, aside from cry in the middle of Best Buy. I decide perhaps I should get a backup computer - not open it or anything until I find out of my computer is okay, but have it for peace of mind. Because that is pricess at this stage in the game.

That would be very fine and well (aside from the fact I'd be out quite a bit of money), except every SINGLE LAPTOP FOR SALE IN A STORE comes with VISTA OPERATING SYSTEM. Does Examsoft work on Vista? NO, BECAUSE THAT WOULD MAKE SENSE. Examsoft only works on Windows 2000 or XP. Best Buy still sells XP, but in order for that to be an option, I'd have to buy the computer with Vista, buy XP, and pay the Geek Squad to install it. Then if my computer turned out to be totally fine with just a new power adaptor, I'd be out the money I spent on the software & the Geek Squad, not to mention the restocking fee Best Buy would charge me if I returned the laptop.

Best Buy can order specialized laptop with XP on it, but I COULDN'T RETURN IT. No really. They told me if I did that I would not be able to return it. I laughed a little hysterically and told them "THAT'S NOT EVEN COMMERCIALLY REASONABLE!!!"

I came home, and there are only two computer companies that even offer XP as the operating system anymore - Gateway and Sony. The Dell salesperson laughed at me over the phone when I asked about XP instead of Vista.

And if I were to order a Gateway or Sony laptop, there's still the issue of getting it time. Not to mention the fact that I haven't been able to get in touch with Examsoft people about re-downloading it, which I'm not even slightly prepared to deal with at this point.

Here's what I'd like to say to Mr. Bill Gates: WHO'S BRILLIANT IDEA WAS IT TO RELEASE VISTA 2 MONTHS BEFORE THE BAR EXAM?!??? Seriously! If you could have waited until March I'd have no problem with you. None. It's obvious you and your marketing team (or whomever decided January was a good release month) have no thought for the fact that there are thousands of bar takers depending on your keeping us supplied with XP through this exam, at least until Examsoft gets on board with your operating system.

I could use Husband's mac laptop (if the WSBA allows mac usage), but his adaptor is currently being held together with tape. No, I'm not kidding.

As it turns out, in a very anti-climactic but seriously relieving solution, my mother-in-law is sending me one of her many extra laptops - the newest one. It has XP on it. She is a fucking lifesaver! Seriously. When she told Husband she'd send me one of her laptops to use, I cried hot tears of relief - I didn't even realize how stressed out I was about it until I was able to be relieved! (I mean, aside from my little "episodic" breakdown in Best Buy.) Still, however, this has brought to light how ridiculous this really is. Using my laptop was supposed to make this whole process easier, not make me want to tear out my eyebrows and run back to the hand cramps of pens.

HA!

Secured Transactions can KISS MY GLOWING WHITE BIRTHDAY ASS.

HA!

Holy Crap

A co-worker I sit next to asked me today in a very nonchalant, calm voice, "so, when is the bar exam again?"

I say the dates, and then at the calendar... and see to my absolute nausea that it's only approximately 5 1/2 weeks away. Fuck fuck fuck fuckity fuck!!! Holy crap - where is the time going? If only I didn't have to work right now. Sigh. Why is money so evil? I am on a reduced work schedule so I get home earlier and have more time in the evenings, but still...I'm SO envious of all of those people who just have to get up, perhaps go to a Bar/Bri lecture, and get the REST OF THE ENTIRE DAY to study!

I did come home and just finished a good, solid evening of studying. And I really want to go sit in front of the TV for a spell, but I've stayed up late every night this week and am TIRED, and I have to be somewhat well rested tomorrow, as I have to come home and write essays like a madwoman. I already have my second set of essays due for my tutor this weekend.

Oh, and my birthday is in just over a week. My golden birthday...wherein I turn 28 on the 28th. I'm not feeling AT ALL thrilled about this birthday. In fact, I'd prefer if it didn't come at all - just stay right where you are! However, that doesn't have any impact whatsoever on my ability to accept, nay, cherish, presents. In fact, lots and lots and lots of presents would surely ease this, don't you think? I'm sure lots of you will think I'm silly for feeling all terrified of turning 28; it's not because I'll be 28, it's because 30 is that much more real. And seriously, when the hell am I going to get my shit together and pass the damn bar exam already? Bloody hell.

Personally, I can't think of anything more fun...

...than to spend a day off from work (work Holiday today) sitting in my pajamas, studying for the bar exam. Seriously. I mean, taking a nap? watching TV? playing with the cats? going shoe shopping? picking my nose? PSHAW!

Although I haven't exactly spent the day thus far studying...oh, I have for the past 20 minutes or so. See, by the time I actually dragged my sorry ass out of bed, I then had to sit in front of the TV watching VH1 music videos for an hour and a half (my time was rewarded - I saw the new U2 video!), catching up on news (only fluffy entertainment gossip), and then talking to a friend for almost an hour. And then just as I was about to get serious, Husband came home for lunch so there went another half hour. Just so many demands on my time! Sheesh! What's a girl to do?!?

So now I'm about to do my first set of essays to turn in to my tutor. I'm supposed to do them in exam-simulated conditions - I suppose my burning scented candles (where would I be without my non-vegan-approved Yankee candles?) & drinking hot tea while wearing pajamas and slippers doesn't exactly count! Oh well - I'll do them without cheating and timed. Sigh. At least it's only 3 questins, so that's only 2 hours & 15 minutes.

And after that, you ask? Do I get to go watch some '80's movies? No! No Pretty In Pink for me today. I get to tackle Admin Law next. My toes are quivering with excitement. I know you're all unbelievably jealous. It's okay - I won't tell a soul.

Back in the saddle again...

Liveblogging writing an essay:

Typing makes it appear as though I have a helluva lot less to say! (And yes, I did have a lot less to say - I came up about 2600 characters less than the allotted maximum number. Guess I better work on some serious issue spotting!!! Um, and add to that proper rule recitation!)

Getting back into writing essays again is RIDICULOUS. I know the first few are always the hardest, but this first essay makes me want lay on the floor and have a temper tantrum! Scratch that, it makes me want to take a sharp stick to the eye. I feel like I don't know anything, and I just did a little outline prior to doing this essay. I keep having to fight the urge to look at my notes!

***
This time around I'm tempting the gods and Murphy's Law and typing the exam. Scary, but oh well. I type SO much faster than I can write (who doesn't) that it doesn't really make sense not to type. So I'm being brave and trying it.

I'm also working with a bona fide essay tutor this time around - complete with a schedule and everything. Scary. But I think it should be good. I met with her on Sunday morning for the first time and I really like her. I think her way of approaching critiquing my writing will work well with how I learn. And I am feeling really motivated and positive (aside from the whole sharp-stick-to-the-eye bit earlier), so I'm feeling good.

I'm also feeling good because my manager approved me having a decreased work week from now until the bar exam, so I can get home earlier to study. It should (on a normal day) get me home in time to do a full hour of studying before I would usually get home. Today it took me an hour and a half just to get home, which was icky to say the least - I think everyone left work early due to forecasts of potential snow. The long bus ride did give me a chance to sleep - thank goodness for my cell phone alarm clock!

Are there any other lonely February takers out there? I at some level feel like I'm beating my head against a brick wall...on the other hand, however, this is something I want so badly that I'm not sure a brick wall would stop me. Some might call that being stubborn, I call it being tenacious. Heck, let's just call it being full to the brim of perserverance, shall we?