having ONE OF THOSE DAYS...

..wherein every fucking thing is driving me fucking mad!

-the fact that I have to work as an assistant

-2 of the 3 girls I'm in a "cube-box" with drive me crazy

-1 of the above-mentioned girls does this SUPER fucking annoying thing where EVERY SINGLE FUCKING TIME she's on the phone, she rubs her hands together. how do I know? the SOUND drives me fucking NUTS

-the same hand-rubbing girl has one of THE MOST obnoxious laughs ever.

-this is the same girl who leave her cell phone on audible ring DESPITE my asking her to put it on vibrate AND despite her leaving little post-it notes for me to LEAVE MY CELL PHONE ON SOMETHING SOFT SO WHEN IT VIBRATES, IT'S NOT NOISY. how fucking rude.

-oh, and the ring tone of her work phone is also driving me FUCKING batty.

-both of my bosses are driving me FUCKING batty.

-the fact that I just ate my lunch and then DEVOURED 2 normal-sized cookies, must to the distending of my belling and ensuing uncomfortably bloated and full feeling.

-the fact that I am so sore this morning I decided not to work out and go shopping instead.

-the fact that every single piece of crap clothing that I tried on at Macy's while shopping in their 50-75% off sale section fit my body like fucking crap, and that sizes keep fucking getting smaller because I am WORKING my ass off at the gym and I'm still not seeing smaller pant-sizes. what the FUCK is up with that

-my skin. my skin is absolutely making me batty and I want to itch it off.

-my scalp. being lazy and trying to be nicer to my hair, I didn't wash my hair this morning (or even get it wet), as I washed it twice yesterday (yesterday morning & then at the gym); instead, I straight-ironed my hair so it would look nice because I knew I wouldn't be going to the gym and consequently having to shower. and now my scalp is ITCHY.

-the fact that I took the fucking time to straight-iron my hair when all my clothes make me feel dumpy, schlumpy, and not at all sleek and sophisticated. since the sleek and sophisticated clothes are all TOO FUCKING SMALL.

-further, the fact that my straight-ironed bangs contain 1 obnoxiously hostile piece that keeps falling in my fucking eyes and refuses to stay with the rest of the bangs.

-the fact that I can't control my fucking apetite and eat like I'm feeding the whole herd (which coincidentally apparently happens to be: my gut, my hips, both thighs, my upper arms, and my upper legs)

-the fact that I still have feelings of tiredness despite having slept 3 nights in a row (thank you, ambien).

-the fact that my fucking job is SO FUCKING BORING that I maybe, maybe have enough actual work to fill about 23 minutes in a day.

-the fact that when I call my local pharmacy to refill a prescription (ambien), the automated system uses the word "TELEMANDER". seriously.

***
And how are all of you?

Help!

I've become afflicted with a serious problem: no motivation. I don't want to do a fucking thing.

Any known cures?

Blech

Today is the type of day where your shoes eat your socks.