It looks like someone has a case of the Mondays!

Somehow I lost my mind last night and convinced myself that because of the time change, getting up this morning would feel like I had slept an extra hour. Um...NOT SO MUCH! Then I got to work and ended up printing like 50000 pages and then stopping to think if I was supposed to. I was, as it turns out, so it was all okay. But for a minute there I about had a hissy fit at myself.

Today began the carrot takeover; I'm back on the Healthy Eating/Fat Camp bandwagon, and I fear I may just turn orange by Thursday. And no, I'm not eating only carrots, I'm just only allowed carrots if I want to snack...and since today was the start of yet another diet revolution, I wanted to snack all day. Good thing I had a huge bag of carrots with me.

I think I've decided to go with used study materials. Especially after I called Bar/Bri to see what the so-called "alumni discount" would net me. WELL, after you factor in the total cost of the home study program costing $2100.00 (yes, I said TWO THOUSAND, ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS), it will cost me $1650.00 for some fucking Bar/Bri books. ARE YOU SERIOUS?!? The other main study company will cost me in the neighborhood of $1200.00 I DO NOT FUCKING THING SO. I posted a want ad on Craigslist, and a girl is offering to sell me her 2005 Bar/Bri books for $250...and you better believe that I'm going with that. Jeez. Talk about it all being a big, fat money making scheme. Seriously.

(By the way, I had this much to write about b/c I kept notes today whenever something popped into my head...as I'm just not sure how either the company or the temp agency would feel about me blogging while at work. Oh, and I've applied for the position as a permanent employee, and I feel pretty good about it - but keep those fingers crossed for me!)

Still dealing with writer's block...

I realize I've ignored you guys this past week. I'm sorry. I'll try to keep it up better, promise. I'm still having serious writer's block - probably the biggest reason I haven't written anything for a week.

I decided to take another foray into baking tonight - spritz cookies with my cookie press I got for Christmas. Well, my cookie press is a piece of shit. I couldn't get the cookie dough to separate from the cookie press after I'd pushed it through the shape disc. I finally got so fed up I quit. I'll just use cookie cutters on the rest of the dough later.

Another slightly more successful task I took on today was finishing the rest of a bottle of red wine. 1/2 of the bottle, in fact. I think I made all alcoholics proud by drinking it straight out of the bottle, and made the French happy by eating sourdough bread with it.

In the next few weeks I have to sign up for the Washington bar exam and decide what I'm going to do about getting study materials. Do I want to buy/borrow used books? Or should I give myself the full advantage of getting new stuff? If I decide to buy new stuff, do I go with Bar/Bri or Rigos? And I'm absolutely not going to a class so I can keep working, not to mention the fact that I don't want to waste time sitting in a class. I know what I need to do - I just want to get books so I can start memorizing now. The beautiful thing about the WA bar exam is there is NO MBE!!! HA HA HA! I know this will sound a little crazy, but I'm actually excited about starting studying, because I won't have to divide up my time between essays and MBE - just essays.

This last week Husband & I finally watched Walk the Line. I thought it was really good. I haven't seen Capote yet, so I can't really say that the right person didn't win the Oscar, but I was mightily impressed with Joaquin Phoenix. We're thinking of signing up for Netflix - any horror/love stories out there?

How to hang pictures the Negligent way.

1. Start with a rubber mallet. This is very important. Using a regular hammer will result is massive amounts of damage to the wall, the nail, and YOU!

2. Screw rulers, measuring tape or levels; eyeballing it is the way to go.

3. Select the first point in the wall.

4. Hang the picture.

5. Swear profusely, as the picture is 7-8 inches too high.

6. Pull out the nail and select a spot on the wall about 3 inches lower than your first attempt.

7. Hang the picture.

8. Again, swear profusely.

9. Again, pull out the nail and choose a spot about 4 inches lower than the last misguided selection.

10. Hang picture.

11. Swear profusely again, because the picture is still about 2 inches higher than it should be, but decide you've had enough pounding on the wall and GIVE THE F*CK UP and leave the picture where it is to mock you everytime you walk by it.

12. Repeat this process SIX more times.

*SIGH*

As you can see, the day that started with a lovely gash in my finger from my adorable (yes, adorable) Ikea wineglass has not gotten any better. On top of that, I've been feeling very uninspired when it comes to posting, but still feel an obligation to write something. I've just felt very stilted and blocked. Maybe I need to go back to doing lists?

That's certainly one way to justify lazyiness.

This morning as I was washing a wine glass, it decided to break. On my little finger. It's really quite a nice, deep gash. This was about 3 1/2 hours ago. If I don't move my finger, it doesn't gush blood. But I still have to clean, especially since I gave myself a "pass" last weekend due to being sick. Husband thought that perhaps I should go to the emergency room, but I'm stubborn.

Last night Husband & I went to see the movie V for Vendetta. He was convinced it was just going to be another Batman, but he ended up loving it. I did, too, although it did get a little gory at the end. But I thought it was great. Everyone should go see it.

Our pizza is here now (cheeseless but delish), and I'm not feeling very chatty, so that's all for now.

Thank god today is FRIDAY, that's all I have to say.

The alarm is on Husband's side of the bed. This morning, instead of pressing SNOOZE, he pushed OFF. Yeeeeeaaaaaahhhhhh.

I woke up when I was supposed to be leaving the apartment to catch my bus. I suppose that's not so bad for oversleeping, I mean it could have been hours. Still, not good when you're new on a job and hoping they decide to hire you on as a permanent employee.

As soon as I realized the time, I went like gangbusters and was out of the house in 15 minutes, showered and everything. 15 minutes. I think that's fairly impressive! I ran to the bus stop (which fortunately is in front of my apartment complex), but just barely missed the bus. And then I had to wait for twenty-five minutes for the next bus. Except I didn't realize I would be waiting that long, or I wouldn't have ran out of the house like I did. I ended up getting to work a half hour late. Sigh.

I had 2 different training sessions today. Ugh. And I still have another session to go on Monday. Where I work on Fridays is super casual - as in jeans and t-shirts. Since I was running so late this morning, I grabbed the first t-shirt I found in my closet, which just so happened to be a Beatles shirt (oh, I'm such a rocker-cool chick). Well, after the 5th or 6th person asked me if I "liked the Beatles?", Mz. Snarky in my really wanted to respond: "ACTUALLY, NO, I HATE THEM." Of course I didn't, new job and all. It just kills me, though, how so many people feel the need to be Captian Obvious.

Ooooohkay, I think it's time I take my inner bitch and buy her a beer or two. Actually, I'm taking Husband on a surprise date to the Red Hook Brewery tonight. I'm very excited, as we really like their beer. So glad tonight is Friday!

Ahem, why don't you suck face the ENTIRE bus route?

I caught an earlier bus today, and was treated to a couple playing serious tonsil hockey the entire time. It was the type of making out that you did back in high school - where there's no room for breathing. It was almost cute for the first 30 seconds. But after twenty minutes of seeing tongue action (don't make me go into it), I felt like I should take up a donation on the bus for a hotel room.

In non-teenage-hormone-induced news, my cold has moved down into my chest and now I'm producing quite impressive coughs. Soooo much fun. Tomorrow is my first day of doing this job all by myself. And I'm not fully trained. The ensuing chaos should be FUN. It is nice to be getting back into a routine again. I'm very much a routine person...I like having a schedule. Actually, I should say I THRIVE on a schedule. It helps me manage my life better.

Hmm...I guess I've run out of things to say. Now it's off to hunt down supper...

Update: I forgot to mention the most disturbing part of the makeout story: it wasn't 2 teenagers. It was 2 adults having this little slobber session.

TWO

Two what, you ask?

Two, as in the number of kleenex boxes I've gone through. Yes, TWO.

Any ideas for repairing my poor, chapped nose?

Yes, I'd love a heaping side order of GUILT with that decision.

I didn't go to work today.

I am still HIGHLY miserable. The gnomes in my sinus cavities are still doing tequila shots. When they refused to leave, I tried to flush them out by drinking 89 gallons of orange juice, but they're pretty tenacious little buggers.

I doped myself up on Nyquil last night, and I think after 10 hours it finally wore off. And now I'm lovingly stroking the Dayquil box.

The lotion-y kleenex that we got yesterday are making my hands softer, but my poor nose is about as raw as it gets. Sigh.

Sympathy may now be forthcoming.


***
UPDATE: WHY do they make cold medicine so hard to get into? I mean, you already have to go to the pharmacy and sign your life away to get anything that actually works. Or maybe they should just include a pair of scissors in the box of the cold medicine?

This makes things interesting.

My first day went well - I'd go into it, but I'm instituting a policy of silence when it comes to my job. If anyone wants to know more details, email me.

And now I'm sick. Yes, sick. It started yesterday afternoon, and this morning I'm entirely sinus-y. And miserable. I can't be sick tomorrow. Or rather, I can't be going through training like this. Augh. And I don't think not going to work is an option.

Crap.

***
UPDATE: we have NO kleenex in the house, so guess what I've been blowing my nose in? Toilet paper. Better than napkins or paper towels, sure, but I still can't wait to see what shade of red and irritated my nose is by tomorrow morning. At least I'm trying to keep things fun - whenever I get sinus congestion, I sing the song I Feel Pretty (is that the title?). Altogether now, I feel pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and SNOTTY...

***
UPDATE 2: I think I'm going to die. DIE. My entire head is congested. Not even Monty Python can break through, I'm afraid. I dragged Husband out of the house with me to go get Kleenex, cold medicine, orange juice, and a battery for at least one of my (many) watches. Everything except the watch battery was accomplished. Apparently, it's fairly damn hard to get a freaking battery for a watch these days. I am beyond annoyed, because I find my Type-A personality requires wearing a watch when I work. And I am SOL. Sooo frustrated. Yes, I realize I could have gone to a jewelry store (we're talking about Swatch and Eddie Bauer watches, here, nothing fancy...yes, I own many Swatch watches and if any had working batteries I'd wear them). However, by the time Target completely disappointed me by not giving me batteries, I wanted to just come home and die. So I've come home to do so. Now I'm just waiting.

Have I mentioned I'm incredibly whiny when I'm sick?

The final indignity

I just got a lovely reminder of HOW GLAD I am to be OUT of our apartment in California. The people in the leasing office are MONKEYS, and not even the kind they let play with kittens. They were supposed to send us our security deposit back 30 days after moving out. Which would have been roughly 2 weeks ago. Last night after I got back from Wisconsin, Husband mentioned the absent check to me.

So I decided to call them today and see what's going on. WELL, after living there and dealing with these primates, I don't know why I am surprised by the fact that there are issues with this. Here's what really gets me: the least intelligent ape in the office gave the apartment's corporate office the WRONG address. Granted, it was only off by 2 numbers, but still. I KNOW I wrote down the address correctly. Being the nice person I'm trying really hard to be, I said "I'm sure I wrote it down correctly, but my writing can be a bit messy, so it probably looks like 2 different numbers than I wrote". This ape says "no, it's ZZ, not XX, and I can fax it to you if you want ot see it". Me: "well, I'm not going to dispute this with you, so what is the outcome of this?"

(I realize I'm not being very pithy right now, but I'm a little worked up over this, so bear with me.)

Long story short: since she gave the wrong address to the corporate ofice, they sent the check out to the wrong address on May 1st. And now they have to wait 30 days before they'll put a "stop payment" on it and re-send it to the proper address. ALL BECAUSE OF THIS STUPID APE-WOMAN.

*sigh*.

IN OTHER NEWS...I just got a call from the agency and I start working tomorrow. While I was looking forward to having another day to catch up on sleep (my niece & nephew's handiwork), it's kind of nice to start a new job on a Friday, not nearly as brutal as a Monday morning. So wish me luck...

Going on a trip.

Tomorrow I am flying to Wisconsin to surprise my dad for his birthday. This plan was hatched about 5 days ago. Short notice, I know, but when someone else is footing the bill... My family isn't really known for being the planning type. Which could perhaps explain my Type A personality.

Since my sister lives near my parents, I will get to see my niece and nephew. I haven't seen my niece since she was about a month old, and she'll be 1 years old at the end of April, so I'm very excited to see her!

I don't think I'll be able to post until I get back on Wednesday night, but just to keep you coming back for more, I might. There's your carrot. I'm not sure how what kind of withdrawal symptoms I'll have from not being able to check all the websites I visit daily, but this is probably a good weaning period for when I start working and behaving like an adult.

Oh, look who went and got herself a job

I just found out about an hour ago...I GOT A JOB!!!

It's not the non-legal job I interviewed for earlier this week. And it is legal. So I guess I won't be running away from law just yet.

I'm so excited to be a productive member of society again!

When will I learn?!?

My apartment complex has a nice perk: in addition to having a workout room, there's free tanning.

Yes, you probably know where this story is going.

I decided after my workout today that a nice little tanning session would be just the thing. Now, I have very mixed feelings about tanning. On the one hand, I love the feeling of being in a nice, warm cocoon. On the other hand, I always feel like I'm frying not only my skin but my innards.

Take today's tanning session for example: the first few minutes the tanning bed was creaking and I kept wondering what would happen if the glass broke and I fell onto the bulbs themselves. And then I started thinking that if they suggest covering your eyes, shouldn't you cover your vital organs? And what about my uterus? Shouldn't I have some sort of x-ray blanket over it? Then I got to a nice warm point and was finally relaxing and it was over.

Yes, I realize I'm ruining my skin. I know, no lectures necessary. It's not so much about getting a great tan but instead about the warmth and heat. And today was chilly here...which I know is a rationalization.

But here's the thing: this was by no means my first foray into tanning. During lawschool back in the Midwest, I went here and there. So why did I think it would be smart to start with 7 minutes? I DON'T KNOW. I'm an idiot, I realize this. And now my skin has that lovely slightly itchy/tingly feeling. Grrr. Maybe someday I'll learn. *Sigh*

A new addiction, producing a rabid fan.

I'm not yet ready to talk about the finale of Project Runway. I need to process what I consider to be a very anticlimactic end.

Since I dabble in baking (NOT COOKING), I stayed tuned for the first episode of Top Chef. OMG. I'm completely addicted. I know some people will say this is a knock-off of the PBS cooking show (that I cannot, for the life of me, remember the name of), but I never saw that one (1/2 of one episode doesn't count).

And I totally just zoned out for like 20 minutes. I think it's time to go to bed.

Do I smell a job in my future???

Friday I sucked up the rest of my ego and went to a legal temp agency, where I was plied into submission with tales of the many jobs and good hourly wages to come. Of course all of these things remain to be seen. And now I have to get up every morning on the off chance I'll get called in for a job. Which totally sucks, because who wants to get up early and just wait around for the phone to ring? Alas, this is now what I've been reduced to.

I do have an interview tomorrow, and it's NOT through the temp agency (HA!). I'm really excited about it. It's not a legal job, but it's something I'm very interested in and really enjoy and would love to do instead of law. Yes, I said it...INSTEAD OF LAW. I'm usually great in interviews, but I'm a little nervous about tomorrow because I'm so excited.

So wish me luck that I get this job. I don't think Direct Loans will accept homemade baked goods as payment on my law school loans.

I got a haircut today. It was beyond time, and I figured I should look good for tomorrow. I have a terrible track record with getting really bad haircuts, but today's cut was AWESOME! It was more expensive than I normally go for, but totally worth it. Now I will have to go back to the girl who cut my hair today...which I guess means now I have, uh, a stylist? This is impressive, especially for someone who has always gone to cheap-o places because I'm THRIFTY. (No, I'm not calling myself a cheapskate.)

Ok, now I feel like I have to discuss the Oscars. I don't really understand all the Jon Stewart backlash. I thought he was funny. But can I just ponder: since when did MTV invade the Kodak Theater? Or was that just me?

Funny tidbit of the day

Husband & I just saw a promo for the new TV show The Unit.

Husband: Isn't that a gay porn movie?

Me: hardy har har

The name game.

This summer, Husband & I will have been married for 3 years. I haven't ever changed my last name. Initially, it was because I couldn't have my last name different from what I'd already put on my loan application. Then I applied for the bar exam and didn't want to deal with the paperwork. And then I decided I liked my last name and didn't want to change it.

Well this morning Husband & I went to the DMV. I discovered that to change my last name, all I needed was my marriage license and voila! I went home to get my marriage license and got a massive case of anxiety. Although I absolutely consider myself a feminist, I am by no means rabid about it, so I wasn't trying to make any statements. Before getting married I didn't think twice about changing my name.

I never anticipated having so much anxiety and, well, putting on the brakes when it came down to actually changing it. I mean, what's in a name? It's not like my last name is my whole and complete identity. It's just a name, right?

The entire way back to the DMV, I thought about it. Husband & I talked about it, and he said that he would support whatever I wanted to do. I ended up playing the hyphenation game. Yes, now I'm one of those women. Brother. But honestly, it felt right. It didn't really feel right to continue to not change it, and I really wasn't okay with dropping my name entirely, or even just adding it as a middle name.

So now I get to adjust to to a whole new, hyphenated signature.

They sure know how to pick 'em, don't they?

Tonight I ran across the first episode of the next Real World. I think I just may have to tune in to see just how this season's drama unfolds.

My initial thoughts after this first episode:

*MAN, do I feel old!!!
*The anorexic chick needs some intensive inpatient therapy...and meds.
*The obligatory hot, fiery chick (who happens to be "Russian Mafia") is currently with boyfriend, but you all know how that's going to turn out.
*The token gay boy is SO CUTE!
*There are 2 jocks who are just typical.
*The other guy and girl are sort of nondescript for me.

Last night I watched The Amazing Race and it was awesome! I already know who I want to win, but am not ready to commit it to blogging history because I'll probably change my mind. The frontrunners are: "the frosties", those crazy kids from San Fran, and the nerdy couple.

Big spender, that's me.

I watched Dead Poet's Society again this afternoon. That ending always gets to me and makes me cry. But it's such a great film! Sigh.

Husband & I are adjusting to live here in the Seattle area quite nicely. He's working and I'm still...looking. I'm starting to get a little frustrated. Now that the Olympics are over (yes, I'm having withdrawal, thank you for asking) I'm spending literally hours everyday looking for jobs and applying. And so far, I've come up with squat. Yay for progress, ha. Any ideas?

I've also been working on getting our taxes done. The deadline was today, but I think it's quite obvious that's not going to happen. I also started looking up bar review courses (yes, I'm taking the bar exam in July) and they all seem a little whacked out expensive. And I don't know what course to take - do I take Bar/Bri? Do I do Rigos? Do I do something else entirely? Do I just try to find recent books on ebay or Craigslist? I mean, do I really want to drop $2,000 on a course when all I really want are the books? Will doing an entire course make me write essays better when I'm already a good essay writer? Ugh. Help.

Curiosity killed the cat

So curiosity has finally gotten the better of me...I just wanna know what you guys think I'm really like. So go here and tell me what you think.

File this under: Effective Weight Loss Strategies

Last night Husband & I decided to dine at the Cheesecake Factory. I should preface this story by saying that since I'm essentially vegan, I typically have 1-2 options per restaurant. Well, at the Cheesecake Factory, they have this Chinese Chicken Salad, that I really enjoy (of course sans the poultry). I got a craving for the salad, so we decided to go there. Being vegan, I also do not eat cheesecake, so I really was going just for this salad.

I order the salad such: "I'd like the Chinese Chicken Salad WITHOUT CHICKEN." He repeats back the 'sans chicken' part of my order, and I think everything will be great. I continue sipping my wine, excited about the impending yumminess awaiting me.

WELL. My salad comes, and I'm happily eating the first 2 bites. Then I suddenly realize on the 3rd bite that I'm biting into something that is definitely NOT lettuce. I should insert here that I've never eaten meat - not fowl, poultry, or anything that ever had parents, swam, or walked. Now that we have that clear, you'll understand that my brain suddenly stopped working and I went into panic mode when I realized that what I was chewing on was tasteless, rubbery, slightly stringy texture.

WELL WELL WELL. I have never lost my appetite so suddenly. It was instantaneous. The server felt terrible, and immediately took the offending plate away and said that he'd put in an order for a chicken-free salad, but the thought of eating anything else was just unbearable. So instead, I had another glass of wine.

I know some of you may question how the hell I missed that there was chicken in my salad. Well, it was sliced very thin and in the sneaky dinner-time lighting of the restaurant, it looked like a piece of lettuce. And I wasn't paying that close of attention because I figured my salad was sans meat. And for the rest of you that may not think this was a big deal or that I'm overreacting, I'M NOT. Remember, this was my first introduction to chicken.


In other news, I made these fantastic peanut butter, chocolate-chip, oatmeal cookies (from Matha Stewart, of course). They are so yummy. However, I ended up burning the side of my arm on one of my cookie sheets. It's quite the sizeable burn, and it hurts like a b*tch. Husband wanted to know why I burned myself, and I said "because I like pain, of course".

Fashion police, now issuing tickets.

THIS needs to be banned from all things figure skating.

'Nuff said.

Putting those rubber gloves to good use.

What's worse than not having a dishwasher?

Having a dishwasher that does NOT work.

Not only do I have a sink full of dirty dishes, now I have a sinkful of dirty dishes and a dishwasher full of still dirty dishes. *Sigh*

Dick Button is pleased as punch, and so am I.

I'm watching primetime Olympic coverage of Ice Dancing. Of all the winter Olympic sports, Ice Dancing is my favorite. I love everything about it...well, almost everything - those costumes are pretty terrible! But I still love it. I don't think it would be the same without the terrible costumes. I've also gotten quite addicted to curling, thanks to CNBC's serious coverage of it.

On a completely different note: GOOD LUCK TO ALL OF YOU TAKING THE BAR EXAM THIS WEEK! You're all superstars!

The cat is testing out that whole "9 Lives" theory.

The cat has just tonight discovered he can jump up behind the TV and flip the power switch. While I am watching the Olympics. In the span of the last 6 minutes, he did it twice. He is now sitting in solitary confinement. NOBODY messes with mamma's Olympics.

And don't you say this serves me right for watching 75 hours of Olympic coverage everyday.

Ha ha ha

Husband told me this joke tonight, and I'm still cracking up over it (like I am about Heather's pirate joke):

Two potatoes are standing on a street corner. How do you know which one is the prostitute?

The one that says: "Idaho".

HA! Ha ha!


Yes, I am still watching 75 hours a day of Olympic coverage. It's fabulous. I finally have my phone hooked up so I can dissect the games with my sister. And NO, I do NOT want to talk about Bode Miller, our men's hockey team, or the scoring debacle that was the men's figure skating long program. Don't even get me started on that last one.

A big shout-out to the MIDWEST!

This is just because I'm from the midwest. And yes, I know where Muncie, Indiana is. I've even been there. So there.

Emotional investment gone awry.

*Sigh*

Oh, Johnny Weir. What could have, might have, should have been.

I'm more sad for what could have been, how you should have been at the end of your free skate. You should have been holding your head high, smiling ear to ear. You should have been proud of yourself.

The snowboard cross is F-U-N! It makes me want to invest in a snowboard and go hit the slopes tomorrow. Of course, the men's hockey USA v. Latvia also made me want to pick up hockey. Our phone gets set up tomorrow, and I'm going to be calling the ice rink just down the road to see if there's a free skate. Yes, I've been skating forever, although never any lessons. My parents were too interested in music lessons. And now we're getting a little revealing.

Ok, back to the CSI. Yes, I know - shocking! I'm watching non-Olympic TV!!! Go ME!

Well now I'm playin' with the big kids.

Tonight I finally decided to sign up for a site meter. I had been on the fence about this because do I really want to know how many people look at my site? If I know how many people are reading, will I then feel pressure to have to perform? I guess my curiosity won out. So no more hiding, lurkers. And I guess this means I have to accept the fact that when I'm unemployed, I am obsessive about checking the blogs on my list. Which I suppose could make me look like a stalker. Hmmmm.

I'm gonna' need an activity intervention when this is over.

I have figured out something that, were it not for the subject matter, would be downright embarrasing. Ok, even with the subject matter, it's still embarrasing. I figured out that I am watching somewhere in the vicinity of 10 hours a day of Olympics. My friend says I am in the throes of an OVERDOSE. I'm not arguing. I just can't help myself.

Good timing to be laid up with a pulled muscle in my back, huh?

I just finished watching the MOST exciting men's hockey game EVER - USA vs. Latvia. Phew - I thought I was going to hyperventilate by the time it was over. I won't do any spoilers in case there's anyone out there who wants to see it and hasn't, but suffice it to say: in the hockey game of Life, I want THIS MAN as my goalie.

I realize that is probably one of the worst and cheeziest analogies ever. I think all this Olympic-induced TV watching is truly rotting my brain. I may just need to read something super cerebral after the games are over. Any suggestions?

Crashes and wipeouts and mistakes galore!

It's a bad day to be competing in the single women's luge. Also not a great day to be a woman downhill skiier. Yikes! It makes me glad I'm not really even slightly athletic (oh, I'm an amazing skater in my head).

I am feeling better this morning, as in I'm actually able to move, although something still feels pinched down into the top of my right leg. I hope I can avoid going to the doctor (it's the money, or should I say lack thereof?).

Newfound empathy...

...for people with back pain.

I bent over (at the waist, naughty) to pick up the cat this morning. My cat is NOT heavy, probably somewhere in the vicinity of 8 pounds, probably less. Well, as I was straightening up, I felt something pop/burst in my lower back and had IMMEDIATE ACUTE WHITE HOT PAIN!

I have spent the rest of the day laying on the couch in my pajams, icing my back, requiring help to even go to the bathroom.

A few months ago, I was rollerblading on the beach and did one of those almost fall moves, where you lean forward and then snap back to catch your balance...well, that's when my lower right back initially got tweaked. I consulted with my sister, a physical therapist, who suggested ICE IMMEDIATELY. Which I did, and the pain went away.

Then, with packing and moving boxes, it has flared up again. Well, now I can hardly even move without sounding like someone is runing me through with a butcher knife. And I don't think it's a good sign that the pain is radiating down into my butt.

I'll be calling doctor's offices first thing in the morning and update when there's something to update about. Hopefully I'll be given DRUGS! DRUGS! DRUGS! Why did this have to happen on a Sunday?!? At least there's been Olympics on TV for me to be occupied with.

So sad it's heartbreaking.

Michelle Kwan has withdrawn from the Olympics.

This is just so sad. I mean I'm glad she's not going to end up skating terribly and go out that way, but the whole thing just seems so unfair. She was supposed to go out on top. Sigh.

Does it make me an evil person if I hope that Sasha Cohen doesn't even medal?!?

Oh, our ladies ROCK!

I'm watching our ladies hockey team RIP the Swiss team a new ass! With a 5 on 3 disadvantage, we STILL scored!!! The only bit that's a little disconcerting is that our ladies seem to be a bit penalty happy. I hope they can keep the shoving to a minimum to get through to the medal rounds.

Because I'm an Olympics junkie, I watched NBC's re-airing of the opening ceremonies last night. Mostly I just wanted to see our athletes. And my, oh my, wasn't Bode Miller just looking cool as a cucumber? He's such a cool kat. I think it's about time that Bob Costas went to greener pastures. I mean I know you can't have network coverage of the Olympics without Mr. Bob, but last night he really pissed me off. He said something to the effect of: 'most of these athletes don't really have a shot in hell of getting a medal, so the opening ceremonies is the only time they have to really shine'. See, BOB, the thing is, that's just MEAN. I know there are lots of longshots, but that's what makes the Olympics so exciting - the possibility of the unknowns and longshots making it! That's the beautiful thing about the Olympics. And BOB, you are just full of mean beans.

In other news, I spent a good 1/2 hour last night trying to figure out how to change my location city on my site's description. Obviously, I lost patience with trying to figure it out. But yes, I do realize that it needs to be changed. I also know that I need to update my blogroll. Sigh. I'll get to it eventually.

I love my cable!

So apparently living this close to Canada nets you a Canadian cable channel...which just so happens to be broadcasting the opening ceremonies of the OLYMPICS L-I-V-E!!!

I am sooooo stoked. And "stoked" isn't even a word I've ever used. I should just warn you all now: I am an Olmpics freak. These next 2+ weeks will be entirely filled with Olympics. I am watching absolutely every single event that is shown. And maybe with this cool Canadian cable channel, I'll get to watch stuff LIVE, instead of hours later when you can go and find out results online, which is totally not cool.

Finally: the 4 Things Meme

Heather: I didn't forget!

Four jobs you have had:
*Editor at my undergrad’s writing center
*Law clerk
*secretary/receptionist at a chemical company outside Chicago (thank you, temp agency)
*sales assistant at Southern Living magazine in Chicago, which was by far the coolest job I’ve ever had - my boss had a liquor cabinet in his office and we had happy hour every Friday afternoon. It was awesome. Plus I had lots of free time, so I got paid to surf the internet.

Four movies you could watch over and over:
*the remake of the Thomas Crowne Affair (hot hot hot)
*When Harry Met Sally
*Love Actually
*Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

Four places you've lived:
*Alpena, Michigan
*Ogden, Utah
*Marshall, Minnesota
*Valparaiso, Indiana

Four TV shows you love to watch:
*Grey’s Anatomy
*Boston Legal (love me some James Spader)
*America’s Test Kitchen from Cook’s Illustrated (yes, I love PBS)
*Sex and the City (except now I can watch it unedited and uncut WHENEVER I want! HA!)

Four places you've been on vacation:
*Ojai, California
*Florence, Italy (favorite city)
*Norway (in high school my parents & I went all over the Southern half of the country - my dad is Norweigan.)
*Park City, Utah (AWESOME skiing)

Four of your favorite foods:
*Broccoli (yes, seriously)
*Mashed Potatoes
*Oranges (does orange juice count?)
*Wham (it’s a faux lunch meat product made by Worthington Foods and it’s DAMN good, so no mocking!)

Four places you'd rather be right now:
*In Wisconsin with my sister & niece & nephew
*Skiing in Utah (best snow on earth, yo, seriously)
*Chicago
*Does “Employed” count?

Four sites I visit daily: (only 4?!?)
*CNN
*Go Fug Yourself
*Defamer
*all the blogs I read

Four Bloggers you are tagging:
*Ms. 1,000 Words
*Cari G
*Ms. Utopaforia
*and: anyone who hasn’t already done this?

HOO HAH!

WE NOW HAVE INTERNET! AND WE NOW HAVE TV! YAY FOR CABLE!

Of course, we don't get our phone until the 17th. Why? I have NO idea. But whatever, we at least have TV and the internet!

I have lots to say, but I can't because we got this super duper deal on cable where we have just about every channel (not the movie channels), and I have been completely SUCKED into a marathon of Project Runway for the entire afternoon. I was even planning to make myself my birthday cake (albeit a bit late!) today (an angel food cake, from scratch yo), but I can't TEAR myself away from the design mayhem! It's just fantastic. I can hardly break away for food and drink.

So kids, I'll write more later. Maybe I'll liveblog the grammy's. We'll see.

Back in action...sort of

I'm up here in Washington! We arrived today after 2 1/3 days of driving. I was totally planning to do one of those "I'm on my way" sort of posts, but our internet got disconnected way earlier than I thought it was going to. And then I couldn't ever blog from the hotel at night b/c we stayed at ghetto-ass Motel 6's, because they accept pets. And right now I'm scamming one of my new neighbor's internet connection, even though it's super slow and sucky.

Comcast is supposed to come and give us a phone, cable, and internet at some point, but the cell phone kept cutting Husband off right when the Comcast people were about to tell him what day/time. So it'll be a fun little surprise whenever they get here.

Our stuff is supposed to get here Saturday morning, and I can't wait to get everything organized and set up. Oh, and I'm totally doing laundry right now and it's F-U-N!!!

K, we gotta' go grocery shopping. We dropped $300 at Target this afternoon, which was WAY FUN. I got some super fun cleaning stuff and other goodies. Oh, and there was a fire at another one of the buildings this evening. Fun times!

I'll post all about our trip up here and moving in as soon as Comcast sets us up.

all ready to go

I am done! Everything is packed and ready to go for 9:00 am tomorrow morning. I can't believe it's all really happening tomorrow.!. Even though I checked all the cupboards and closets and everywhere, I have this nagging feeling that tomorrow after the movers come, I'll discover a treasure trove of shit I forgot to pack. And if that happens, I'm going to just THROW IT ALL AWAY.

I am incredibly tired, and I think I'm going to go to bed. Everything aches.

oh. just oh.

Apparently I decided to have 37 beers last night.

And my head feels like it was in a soccer match.

Happy birthday to me.!.

Husband reports I was a fun, happy drunk but not really functioning by the end of the night. And you should see the pictures. We met these two Australian guys who had just flown in yesterday and came straight to the pub, and apparently I invited them over today (with beer)...which will be tricky if they actually show up given that we've got to finish up packing because the movers are coming TOMORROW MORNING.

Yes, I invited two random Australian guys from the pub (we were at a British pub) over. It was just a lovefest last night.

And I just want to know, how long does Tylenol take to kick in? Seriously. I think I'm going to go eat a piece of bread.


UPDATE: finishing up packing completely SUCKS when you're hungover. Ohmygod. I just want to feel human again and I don't even care about packing my crap anymore. Ugh.

My Husband R-O-C-K-S!!!

I decided to start celebrating my birthday this evening...I call it: birthday eve!

So, wanna' know why Husband has won himself a years' worth of brownie points?

He got me the COMPLETE Sex and the City set for my birthday! HA! I'm in SATC heaven! It's an orgy of SATC episodes tonight! It's just fabulous.

I still can't get over it. I own the complete Sex and the City. How much do I rock?!?

Tomorrow for my birthday the plans include: going to my favorite breakfast joint for the best belgium waffle in town; going to the beach to bake myself silly; going to our favorite Italian restaurant for dinner; going to this awesome British pub in Santa Monica for awesome beer on tap. Of course, "breakfast" is relative considering I'll probably be staying up all night watching my AWESOME new birthday present. 'Cuz that's how I roll. Yeah.

Going on STRIKE

I didn't pack anything today. I had ENOUGH. I just couldn't take any more boxes or packing tape so I decided to go on strike and give myself a break. I still think I'll make my goal of being done tomorrow, so it's all good.

I am incredibly exhausted. I think all the stress from moving is finally hitting me. I'm just ready for it to be done already.

Oh, it seems my brain has gone to bed ahead of my body. I think I'm going to follow my brain.

Hey genius...

TIP: when packing your kitchen, be sure to make sure you've taken all tupperware containers out of the refridgerator first.

I tackled the kitchen tonight, and just when I thought I was pretty much done I opened the refrigerator and saw 4 tupperware containers staring back at me. And here I thought I was done with the kitchen. Grrr.

I now have 40 boxes packed. FORTY. That's right, I've been busy, bitches! And I've been rockin' out while packing to good ol' classic '80's tunes. Nothing like a little Madonna and Duran Duran to make packing fun.

Those are tears of HAPPINESS.

Right now I am doing the last 2 loads of laundry: (1) in a community laundry room; and (2) where the machines require quarters to run.

Why is that, you ask? BECAUSE MY NEW APARTMENT HAS ITS OWN WASHER AND DRYER. HOORAY!

I didn't want to do any more laundry, but I had to do just enough to get us through to next week...where I will be able to do laundry WHENEVER I want without having to get QUARTERS or racing other people to the laundry room. HA HA HA HA HA!

This fills me with glee.

5 days and counting...

Well, things are starting to feel like warp speed.

I have successfully hired movers and coerced Husband into posting a few things we want to sell on Craigslist. The Craigslist items include my car. I don't want to drive it up to Washington without a side mirror and with the plates expiring, and we don't want to pay $500 to have the movers ship it. And the insurance company is just being a pain the rear - I called them yesterday and they said they'd try to have somebody come out by the end of the week. I told them we're moving on MONDAY, but they of course don't really care. Hopefully we can sell the car so we don't have figure out what we're going to do with it.

I still have lots of packing to do, but it's coming together nicely. I'm less than amused by how packing boxes is like playing Tetris in real life. And I've got lots of experience with moving, having done quite a lot of it growing up (no, my dad's not in the military, but is a pastor).

Oh, and Miss Eve, yes this move is happening quite quickly - from decision to packing. We knew we wanted to leave California (especially LA), and once we settled on a place I knew it would be a quick move. Once we got up to the Seattle area, we kind of knew immediately that it was a good fit for us. I'm the type where once I know what's going to happen, let's make it happen NOW. I'm really excited to get up there and settled in...and organizing everything in our new place.

Ok, got to get back to packing. Yes, Heather, I saw that you tagged me for that meme, and I'll do it but probably not until after we move. And for those of you emailing me wanting to know more info, I'm going to respond...just probably after the move, as well.

Why my expiring plates may not be an issue...

I walked out to my car this morning, all ready to run errands (which included a trip to Ikea, always a fun time). As I walk towards my car, parked on the street, I notice a side mirror laying on the side of the street.

Then I walk around to get into my car and discover that THE ENTIRE DRIVER'S SIDE OF MY CAR HAS BEEN SLAMMED, BUMPER TO BUMPER.

My side mirror is now just hanging from the side of my car, the actual mirror piece entirely gone.

The trim from both the doors is LAYING IN PIECES ON THE STREET.

When I say that the entire side of my car is destroyed, I mean the entire side is dented. And I'm fairly sure it was a silver car that destroyed mine, because there are huge patches and scratches of silver on my car, from bumper to bumper.

EVEN MY FRONT WHEEL COVER IS CRACKED. CRACKED. How fast was this asshole driving to CRACK my wheel cover?!?

And what makes this even more outrageous is that this asshole didn't even leave a note. NOTHING. Destroy my car and run, bitch. This happened sometime between 8:30 last night and noon today. Both Husband & I are convinced it was a drunk driver that swerved into my car and then kept going.

And get this: no other cars were touched, JUST MINE. Talk about shit luck.

Depending on what the insurance offers, it may not even be worth it to get my car fixed. So we may not even have figure out what to do about my expiring plates.

I still can't believe my car was sideswiped. At least the asshole's car got destroyed, too.



* * *
In other news, I packed 10 boxes tonight. I got these great file boxes from Staples and Trader Joe's gave me 10 wine boxes, with the dividers still in them. I packed all our wine glasses, and the rest of the dividers will be excellent as dividers between plates and bowls.

I need boxes NOW, not on Friday!

I couldn't get out of bed to get to Target. My bed & pillows were just so comfy after the crap hotel pillows.

I had this great idea of ordering boxes & packing supplies online, so it would be cheaper. However, because today is Sunday and apparently all box wholesalers are on the East coast, I wouldn't get anything until Thursday or Friday. I can't wait to start packing until Friday! I need to start packing NOW.

Of course all this hinges on a moving company being able to come on the 30th, which is when we need to have our crap out because the final walk-through is on the 31st. And our move-in date is February 2.

There's also another potential problem: my plates expire this month, and since we're moving there's NO point in renewing them here in California. But do I really want to risk driving through Oregon and Washington with expired plates? Or do I pay the moving company to ship my car and then just register it when we get to Washington? Augh! I'm starting to feel completely overwhelmed!

I'm going to go search out boxes. And damn it, I'd better be able to find some today! I need to start packing!

(Now would be the time to send me calming words of wisdom.)

can't sleep...too much to do...

I've got so much going on in my head I'm a little worried this post will come out psychophrenic.

In fact, I'm so scattered I'm not sure I can even commit to writing a real post.

Suffice it to say:

*The packing madness has begun.

*I've become a box whore. Tomorrow at 8:00 am I'm going to Target to get boxes and then at noon to the liquor store to get boxes.

*I've been consumed with making lists. Really, it's the only way to be truly organized. But I've been having trouble sleeping because I keep thinking of everything I need to do. Of course the absolutely craptastic excuse for pillows at the hotel were probably also to blame.

*I got home and had 18 messages on my answering machine from moving companies.

*Tomorrow I'm going to Ikea to get those fabulous, cheap magazine storage holders. Gotta' preserve my Real Simple and Martha Stewart Living.

*Husband brought the cat home from the sitter. He's looking a little pissed at having gone from a 3 bedroom house back to a 1 bedroom apartment. Of course in just 2 weeks, we'll be upgrading to a 2 bedroom apartment, and his royal fuzzy highness will get lots of space.

*I think I'm stressed about getting everything done...my nails are starting to look like they're in a war.

*I was reading some tips on moving with pets, and came across several suggestiong to get a cat a harness & leash, so the cat doesn't run away. At Target tonight I got the cat a harness and leash. I put it on, just to get him adjusted to it, and WOWEE, I've never seen a cat jump and thrash around like that! I think it's safe to say that he HATES the harness and this may be turn out to be completely and entirely unsuccessful.

*Tonight at Target I bought a bottle of wine. As I was checking out, the cashier looked at my license and said "Happy Birthday on Saturday!". And my initial reaction was to SHUDDER. Holy crap, my birthday is a week from today. It doesn't even feel like my birthday is in a week. And since we'll be packing and about to move, there won't be much celebration. I think I'm pretty okay with that, though, because I'm not sure I want to turn 27. I was suppose to have my life all figured out at age 27.

I think I need a glass of wine.

SEATTLE, HERE WE COME!

We have absolutely fallen in LOVE with Seattle!

There are so many trees, it's like we're experiencing tree-gasms! And it's so green! And the scenery is just beautiful. We just can't get over it. And we can't stop gaping at all the beautiful trees. Have I mentioned the TREES?!? And the rain does not bother me. In fact, I LIKE IT. I haven't gotten ENOUGH rain in LA the past 2 years. And the sun just came out and it's even more gorgeous!

The second apartment we looked at yesterday we fell in love with. We slept on it, and SIGNED THE LEASE THIS MORNING! It's a gorgeous apartment, and soooo much cheaper than what we're paying now!

And here's an even MORE exciting bit: WE'RE MOVING IN 2 WEEKS!!! (Told you we'd want to move right away!)

I've got to go start the moving process! YAY!

I see a sleep-filled flight in my future...

It's almost midnight, and I just finished packing. We have to get up at 5:30 tomorrow morning to get to the airport on time. Yipee. Despite all the tiredness in my near future I am SUPER excited about our trip. Actually, almost too excited to sleep.

I still have to wash the remaining few items in the sink, finish my glass of wine, and go to bed. I packed more than I wanted to, but still in carry-on size. I refuse to check luggage for a 3 day trip. I'm bringing an extra pair of pants & shoes in case of, uh, excessive wetness.

We took our kitty to his sitter tonight. The person who's watching him has a nice, big house, and as soon as we let him out of his kitty carrier, he ran to explore the house and never looked back. It was a little sad for me because when we left, he didn't even want to say goodbye. At least he'll be happy terrorizing the sitter while we're gone.

Ok, I have to finish watching Boston Legal (and my wine) and then go to bed! Husband is taking his computer, so if the internet isn't too expensive at our hotel, I'll post from Seattle!

See ya' on the other side, kids! And wish me luck that it all works out for the best!

Seattle: ? or !

This week Husband & I are going to Seattle. We're leaving on Wednesday and coming back Saturday. I'm really excited!

If this: "?" becomes this: "!", then we want to move RIGHT AWAY. As in we'll start packing when we get back. Yes, I am incredibly excited to be moving away from LA.

So, any ideas/thoughts/tips/wisdom/anecdotes any of you feel compelled to share about Seattle/moving/etc., consider this your invitation to share away!

Quick, somebody up my meds!

Today as I was coming out of Trader Joe's with groceries, I went to my car. The first thing I notice is that my minnie mouse antenna topper is gone (this helps me identify my car in a parking lot). I frown a little at this discovery, but think that it may have just gone to antenna topper heaven, and it was old so that wasn't an entirely unplausible thought.

I put my key in the trunk and I'm trying to open it. The key isn't really wanting to turn, and I'm still thinking it's my car because my key is getting a bit wonky. THEN I notice that there's a sticker in the back window that ISN'T MINE. OHMYGOD, this is NOT MY CAR! To my defense, this other car was only 1 row away from mine, the same make, model, color, and year as my car.

And of course, this whole time there's a woman waiting for this spot. So my medication-free moment had a witness. At least she was nice enough to roll down her window and throw a "it looks just like your car" sympathy comment my way.

Sheesh.

Indignation

You have GOT to be kidding me.

Some complete ass STOLE our water. No, I'm not kidding.

Because we're water snobs, we get these water bottles delivered - the kind where you have to turn them over and put them into a water dispenser. We got our latest bottle delivered yesterday. YESTERDAY. Tonight when Husband was getting ready for work, I thanked him for bringing in the water bottle (I'd have to roll it in while simultaneously preventing the cat from escaping). He says he didn't bring it in, didn't I? Well, NO, I DIDN'T.

Neither one of us brought the bottle in...which would lead to the inevitable conclusion that SOME JACKASS STOLE IT.

Who the hell steals a bottle of water? And one that most likely requires being rolled down the hall because it's too heavy to carry very far?

Seriously, WHO STEALS WATER?!?

Thoughts

1. I'm a little surprised that you can actually say "bitch" on TV before 10 p.m. This is not because I'm conservative. What got me noticing it was all the recent family time I've had - one part of my family wouldn't be caught dead listening to anything with such foul language. And for them, it's kind of like watching sex scenes with your parents - just wierd.

2. When Miss Smarty Pants was here visiting last week, she took me for a mani/pedi for my birthday (which is in a few weeks - fear not, you'll all be duly notified). I've noticed that whenever I do get a manicure (like, once a year) my cuticles come out mangled. Which leads to a painful growing-back process. Which now makes me sound like my fingers look like Revenge of the Cuticle. Despite this slight inconvenience, my fingers & toes look mahhhvelous.

3. It's a good thing my kitty is so darn cute. Especially when he's doing his best to push my patience to the absolute limit. I keep telling myself that the teething will stop. I mean, he has to get fat & lazy eventually, right?

4. I think the Burger King King guy is hysterical. I realize he's also creepy, but I just find him funny. Like, I'm tempted to have TiVo start a collection of those commercials. Does this make me beyond wierd? According to this site I guess I'm a cynical man "of the 18-35 crowd". Hmmm.

5. I know one of my yearly goals was to accept my body for the way it is, but that does NOT mean I can continue to gorge myself silly. In trying to accept my body, I'd like to do things that make me feel good. I think this means I need to get back on the exercise hamster wheel. And I dislike exercising so much I'd rather eat less than be forced to work out. And yes, I know the whole serotonin hoo-hah. Still. I think I'm one of those people that needs a commando-style trainer. Any takers?

6. Confession: I don't like water. That doesn't mean I don't drink it. I do, I just don't enjoy it. Unless I'm I've been in the Sahara thirsty. And I feel badly about this, and I don't know why. Water guilt?

7. I did NINE loads of laundry today. Yes, that's all I did today. No, I haven't been avoiding laundry for the last month. I had to do lots of things you don't wash all the time - like blankets and beach towels & the extra sheets. It wasn't really a fun day. I'm SO having a washer/dryer IN my next apartment.

8. Speaking of my next apartment, Husband & I are going to SEATTLE next week.!. I'm really excited to find out if it's a good fit for us. I will definitely be posting more details about this, not to mention SOLICITING ideas/tips/info from those of you with Seattle knowledge.

9. Because I need to end on an odd number (despite my OCD need for symmetry & balance), I'll share the few things on my birthday wish list. I'd REALLY like the complete Sex And The City. I've seen them all, and yet I still watch the edited, sliced-and-diced version they show on TV. Although it's still fun to watch, the non-sliced-and-diced version is so much better.

(9.b.) I also would like a 9x9x2 baking pan. Turns out having one is NOT enough if you want to do a cake, especially a Martha Stewart coconut cake for Husband's birthday. And they don't sell 9x9x2 pans at the grocery store. Oh, they sell 8x8x1 15/32 (not kidding), but NO 9x9x2. I think Williams Sonoma decided to put a copyright out on that pan size (maybe together with Sur La Table) so no grocery stores or normal, not expensive stores will carry them. Which will undoubtedly lead to MUCH frustration.

(9.c.) In any event, the coconut cake turned out BEAUTIFULLY, and it was my FIRST cake from scratch. I even made the frosting from scratch. I did take pictures, so when I get them developed, I'll post it. (Given the recent debacle with the last camera's memory card, Husband is a little reticent to let me use his brand new camera.)

Ok, I think that's all for now. I'm contemplating going to bed before 2:oo a.m. We'll see.

and a big HAPPY BIRTHDAY goes to...

Happy Birthday, Husband!

Enjoy being older than me for the next 20 days. Hee!

WHO'S THE TROOPER NOW?!?

I AM!

Wanna know why? It is 5:15 A.M. and I AM STILL UP. Oh yeah. It all started with strip card games (which I handily won in a straight set against Husband, HA!), Wedding Crashers around midnight and then The Exorcism of Emily Rose (currently on pause). I think I'm actually becoming (gasp) NOCTURNAL. (Paging Eve!)

This last week has been sparse as far as postings go because I've had COMPANY. And it's been jolly good fun. A friend from college (who is currently in law school and is a Resident Smarty Pants) came down to spend a few days with me. We had tons of fun, although I think I'm due for a chocolate detox (we relived good ol' college days, complete with the chocolate-chip cookie dough). We saw: The Island (better than you think), 40 Year Old Virgin, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (Smarty Pants hadn't seen it), and Must Love Dogs.

The 40 Year Old Virgin was laugh-your-pants-off funny. Must Love Dogs was cute (love me some John Cusak).

Last night we went to see The Producers, from which we all pretty much lost our voices because we were laughing so much.

Ok, back to The Exorcism of Emily Rose. Good times, good times.

Fee-fi-fo-fum-resolutions

So... the resolutions. Hmmm. I don't really think I can improve on Saucy's list.

I've never really been into the whole resolution game, anyways. Here's why: I'm a perfectionist, and I can't handle the not following through. Which is also the same reason why I never did the whole Nano Wrimo thing in November. That doesn't mean I'll never write a novel, and this doesn't mean I don't make resolution-type goals to improve my life.

So, instead of the pressure of resolutions hanging over my head, how about we just call them GOALS for 2006?


1. I'd really like to become a licensed attorney this year.

2. I'd like to go easier on myself this year. You know, be okay with me being me. Not expect myself to loose an unrealistic amount of weight but instead accept my body the way it is, flaws and all.

3. I'd like to be nicer to people. There's too much hate and anger in the world already, I don't need to be adding to it!

4. I'd like to watch less television, and read more books. And not fluffy books - cerebral books.

5. I'd like to play more music this year - both piano and violin.

6. I'd like to find some career satisfaction. It doesn't have to come by way of the legal profession. I'm just tired of feeling so unbalanced in that part of my life.

7. Along that line, I'd like to find balance in my life - in family, career, social life, everything. I'm tired of feeling like everything is out of whack!

Do you hear that?

That is the sound of my liver, begging for mercy.

Good Riddance, 2005!

HAPPY NEW YEAR, KIDS!

For those of you planning to paint the town red tonight, HAVE FUN!!!

My plans are rather boring. I'm staying in, watching movies (isn't When Harry Met Sally a requirement?), drinking, and doing it all in comfy clothes. Husband & I were going to go to a local bar & then wind up at this fun Mexican restaurant for midnight (we did the same last year), but he found out 2 days ago that he has to work tonight (oh, the indignity). And I was just too lazy to try to come up with any alternate plans. And staying in and getting drunk sounded good.

So far I've started with a lovely cabernet sauvignon and will later move to my very own bottle of champagne. Yay! I haven't yet decided if I'll start the champagne with mimosas or not. Oh, and I made a ridiculous chocolate bundt cake (breaking in the new bundt pan). And OMG, it's BTS. And it even looks pretty 'cuz I sprinkled powdered sugar over the top. Look at me go, Mz. Harriet Homemaker (which Husband is just adoring).

If I decide to do resolutions, that'll be tomorrow. Stay tuned.

Christmas was a big HIT

This gnome is back in town, and only just a little bit chunkier. But what are the holidays for if not for copious amount of cookies, fudge, and carb-y goodness?

Before I do a little recap, I first have to give a major Ellen-style HOLLA to Mz. L, who watched my kitty while Husband & I were gone. Thanks, you rock! And I think I owe you some serious bubbly on New Years.

Ok, on to the recap, which I have to do in my lovely numbered style, because it's nice and organized. Yes, I realize how Type A I am.

1. I had a rockin' good time out with my cousins in Chicago. We all got massively drunk and were singing karaoke at the top of our lungs. It was so much fun!

2. Fun tip: if you don't have Febreeze, Lysol works just as well. The Irish pub we were at was full of smoking, and the next morning my coat smelled so disgusting. My cousin said there was febreeze under his bathroom counter, and to just spray my coat. I go grab what I think is the febreeze and spray my coat. A bit later, my other cousin decides he needs to spray his jeans, so he uses the same thing I did and sprayed his jeans. After we got back from brunch, it was discovered that I grabbed Lysol instead of febreeze. HA HA HA. As it turns out, the lysol didn't bleach my coat (phew!), and worked just as well since it didn't smell after I sprayed it!

3. I ate incredibly yummy food...this great Italian restaurant and some serious BTS food in Chinatown.

4. Not-so-fun discovery: I'm allergic to Lubriderm lotion. My skin completely dried out after 2 days back. My aunt said she had lotion, so I slathered myself in Lubriderm to avoid scratching myself to the bleeding point. Right before bed, I slathered my arms one more time, for good measure. The next morning, I woke up with a VICIOUS rash on my left arm. The next morning, I had the same rash on my right arm. I can now say with conviction that I'd rather have dry, itchy skin than rashy, allergic skin.

5. Another not-so-fun discovery: I've forgotten that Midwest winters are so dry. So dry, in fact, that I woke up with my throat so dry it felt like I had a sore throat and was getting sick. Which led to a day of drinking Theraflu & gargling salt water...thinking I was fending off whatever bug my body was catching. On the up side, the Theraflu has antihistamine in it, so while it completely knocked me out, it also helped the Lubriderm-induced rash.

6. I was able to spend a day with my grandpa, who is 91 years old with rapidly declining health. We're all a little worried this will be his last winter, so it was especially poignant to see him and spend time with him.

7. I definitely got my cold weather & snow fix. And it was fabulous! It really felt like Christmas ... with all the shivering and snuggling and hot apple cider. It was so nice and cozy.

8. This Christmas was the year of baking supplies. I never knew I could get so excited about getting a cookbook (the Martha Stewart Baking Handbook, which is FABULOUS), a bundt pan, and a cookie press (can't wait to make Spritz cookies).

Ok, I think that's about it for now. I've got some peppermint bark to make a dent in. Hey - the healthy eating can commence tomorrow. I want to hear from all of you about your holidays.

oh lazy bones

1. I didn't go to the holiday party. The thought of having to be in a social enviroment was just too much, especially considering I'm going to be around lots of people for the next week and a half. I didn't call, but I did send a very nice email and he responded, so it's all good.

2. I have to go to the airport in about 14 hours and I haven't really packed yet. I started putting stuff like my magazines and ipod in a pile, just so I don't forget anything, but I haven't even begun to figure out outfits. And what makes this even more interesting is that I will be going through a 40-50 degree temperature difference tomorrow. HA! I'm excited about being in winter (which will make it seem much more like Christmas to me) but have just decided I'll probably just freeze for the next week and a half.

3. More about packing: I still have to put together outfits, with options (I'm big on having options, just ask Husband), and make sure I have enough warm clothes. Which really sucks, because somehow after living in LA for just over a year and a half, I seem to have lost most of my layering white t-shirts. Which presents a slight problem for laying yet looking nice and dandy.

4. I have watched 4 movies this week:
*The Notebook: incredibly beautiful love story that made me sob like a baby.
*Say Anything: yes, this was my first time seeing it (my upbringing was very Footloose), and I heart Lloyd Dobler.
*Closer: incredible acting, incredibly painful to watch.
*The Wedding Date: I thought I'd need a little fluff after Closer, and fluff it was. Fun, definitely formulaic, but still fun.

5. I'm very excited about tomorrow night: one of my cousins is picking me up at the airport and taking me downtown Chicago to meet the other cousins & friends at a bar. The only thing that is slightly dampening my super excitement is the fact that California has spoiled for the lack of indoor smoking - I shall never be the same again.

6. Since we'll be with Husband's mother, stepfather, and grandparents over Christmas weekend, we'll be attending church. I am really not looking forward to it, as I don't really "feel" the church thing. This might have something to do with my extraordinarily religious, conservative upbringing and the fact that I've (gasp) strayed from the fold. *sigh*. That's a whole 'nother story.

7. Husband has sacrificed watching Seinfeld so I can watch Numb3rs tonight. I like it, but don't usually watch it since I monopolize most everything else on TiVo and figure Husband ought to be able to watch a few things. I picked this over Law & Order: CI because Bill Nye is guest starring on it tonight. Who is this Bill Nye, you ask? Well, this PBS-fed kid used to watch Bill Nye the Science Guy on PBS...that is, when I was allowed to actually watch actual TV and not just videotapes of my music lessons for learning purposes. (Again, this goes back to my Footloose childhood, without the cool ending.)

8. I really ought to start packing.

9. Oh yeah, postings between now and around December 27th will probably be nonexistant, as I'm not counting on having internet access. But we'll see...I might be able to.

10. I still haven't found my camera's memory card. I even pulled out the flashlight and looked under and behind furniture. I'm afraid it got, ah, processed and ended up in the litter box. I also can't find my ipod earphones, which I think have been hidden away by a certain furry, 4-legged, whiskered creature.

Ok, I think that about sums it up for now. I hope everyone has a FABULOUS holiday - Christmas or otherwise. :)

Internet, I need your advice!

Ok, kids, I need some help.

Last year I worked for a sole practitioner. While it certainly wasn't the crappy experience of my most recent job, it had it's own special charms. After I deferred passing the bar the first time, I quit so I could study full time. And then I didn't go back to working for him, which I wasn't too broken up about.

I haven't spoken to him in over a year.

So, here's the situation: I just received an email from him inviting me to his Christmas Party this coming Friday night.

DO I GO?

One of my friends seems to think this is coming from a genuine, nice place and that I should go. However, thinking about going and what to wear, etc., makes me feel like I'm going to break out in hives. Part of that is probably just stress from thinking about being in a social situation where I'll have to talk about what I'm NOT doing with myself right now, career-wise. And part of it is just stress from having to leave the apartment.

Since I'm flying out on Saturday afternoon, I could just tell him I'd love to but unfortunately will be out of town. Or I could just suck it up and go.

Help.

Bumper Basher, part II

Husband came home from work this morning and says: So, did you happen to notice anything different about my car?!?

Cue me burrowing as far under the covers as I can get.

Husband: So, were you going to tell me?!?

Me: *wail* No. I mean yes, eventually.

Husband: What happened?

Me: I fill him in on the details of how I'm an idiot and backed into that stupid yellow pole.

Husband: Well, I actually feel better knowing some idiot didn't hit me and not even leave a note or anything.

Me: Really? Well, I won't drive your car again.

Husband: Yeah, and when I do something like this to YOUR car, you just remember this little incident.

Me: Okay. (Breathing a huge sigh of relief that my toenails have stayed intact.)

*sniff*...*sniff*... *wail*

So, when I was at the library today (prior to bashing Husband's new, white car's rear bumper into one of those short yellow poles in a parking lot, for which I will undoubtedly be hung up by my toenails, more on this later) I picked up the movie The Notebook.

Why?

Apparently, because I wanted to have a sobfest tonight. And holy cow did I cry. It was just such an incredibly moving, emotional, tragic story. *sigh*

And then I had to follow that up, once I stopped sobbing, with an episode of Sex and the City wherein Aidan moves out of Carrie's apartment and she has to figure out how to come up with a down payment to buy her apartment. But that was just sad, too.

Ok, so, for the bumper bashing story: I took Husband's car to do some errands today, including going to the library and returning some videos. After I had returned the videos and was attempting to back out of the parking space, oh so carefully, I hit one of those stupid, stupid, stupid, pointless yellow poles. Oh, I saw the FOUR surrounding the street lamp, but happened to miss the FIFTH one. Really, five?

As soon as it happened, all my internal organs immediately dropped about 5 feet. When I got home I discovered that while it's really not that bad (no dents), it's still fairly terrible. I placed a terrified emergency call to a friend, and she suggested trying some cleaner on it and then using white-out (his car is white). I used the cleaner, and while it helped a little bit, it's still pretty bad. And of course I couldn't find any white out...I tore the place apart and no dice. So, to preserve my life (my aunt suggested I just pack up my bags and come to visit her NOW), I'm waiting to discuss it with him until he notices it and brings it up first.

Think I can get away with saying his car got hit...with an inanimate object?

stella artois + merlot + ketle one = holy hangover, batman

Wooooooo. I had a serious bender on Friday night. Husband mentioned that I might want to not drink so much in the future. Yeah, ya think?! Ok, so here's how Friday went DOWN.

1. 1:00 p.m.: meet with college friend in Santa Monica to see the movie Rent. Buy popcorn, douse in luscious butter and salt, be transported to popcorn heaven. Oh, and the movie was fabulous...exactly what I needed, emotionally, right now. Perfect. (I have yet to be lucky enough to see it on Broadway...which will totally happen one day.)

2. 4:00 p.m.: head to British Pub to lay in wait for James Blunt, after purchasing CD for his signature. Commence copious intake of Stella Artois.

3. 4:30 p.m.: College Friend & I start talking with this cute old man in the bar, who is playing darts, who later goes from being a cute old man to a complete psycho.

4. 5:15 p.m.: discover WE HAVE BEEN DUPED by his record label, and that instead of the great James Blunt actually appearing, some chick from his record label is there to hand out swag. Am seriously pissed, although the record label chick is pretty cool.

5. 5:30 p.m.: meet the record label chick's husband, share our table with him & this family who brought their 16-year-old daughter to see James Blunt. Discover that the family is super cool. Drink more Stella and play darts with the super cool parents of the 16-year-old cool girl.

6. Sometime between 7:00 - 8:00 p.m.: Have had three large beers. Woo. The cool family invites College Friend & I to come to dinner with them. So, we go...why not?! Have wine with dinner. Have a great time - great food, great wine, great people.

7. ?:?? p.m.: College Friend follows me back to my apartment. We are both shocked we make it there without incident. Commence craziness. This entails doing shots of ketle one vodka with wine chasers. Yeah. We are smart. We decide to take tons of drunk crazy pictures, and are trying to chat online with our mutual friend in South Korea. As it turns out, we're so drunk we can hardly type. After 4 or so shots of vodka (no lemon or sugar, because we're ROCK STARS) we decide we want pizza. Apparently I was trying to convince College Friend that I was totally cool to drive. Good thing we decided to order pizza.

8. 6:00 a.m., Saturday morning: Husband comes home tipsy from a tequila-infused night with the guys. I wake up to discover that both College Friend & I had passed out on the couches, the living room looks like an atomic bomb exploded. There are bits of spilled wine (red) EVERYWHERE. HA! College Friend, who has more memory of the night than I, tells me that we passed out in the middle of trying to decide who to order pizza from. It also turns out that in the 5 feet from the coffee table (scene of the drunken pictures) to the computer, the memory card was RAPTURED. Yeah, I can't find it.

I spent all day Saturday being incredibly hungover. Fun times for all. Ok, I gotta get ready to head out...

I have discovered another love!

I feel the need to talk. So, let's talk. First, I'll tell you what's going on with me.

1. Ok, I finally get what all this James Blunt fuss is about. I TiVo'd SNL from this last Saturday, and I keep watching his performances over and over. And, like, he's totally singing to me. Talk about making you feel like the most beautiful girl in the world (as do you, Prince).

2. I finished putting all my CD's into iTunes and now I have 2108 songs. That's 6.2 days of listening pleasure, people.

3. I made a Christmas music (or should I say Holiday music?) playlist, and I'm really excited about using that for my upcoming plane trip. There are 110 songs in this playlist. Is that alot? Am I a Christmas music whore? Help! I need affirmation!

4. My upcoming plane trip: I'm going to my aunt's in Chicago on the 17th! I'm closer to this aunt & uncle than I am to my parents, so I'm very excited to see them - it's been about a year since I saw them last. And have I mentioned how excited I am to SEE SNOW and wear my fabulously stylish wool coat that I got in NYC?

5. I actually left the apartment yesterday. Shocking, I know, as this entailed things like showering and applying makeup. I met a girl I went to college with and we went to this great little British Pub in Santa Monica for happy hour. Happy, indeed. $2.50 draft stella artois, yummy! At this delightful, non-LA pub, I saw a poster for (sit down) JAMES BLUNT COMING THERE THIS COMING FRIDAY to do autographs and just be his generally wonderful self. I'M SO EXCITED. This friend that I met yesterday & I are totally going to see him. Yes, this is the fun stuff you get to do when you're sitting in the luxurious lap of unemployment. Delightful.

6. Today was the deadline to apply to retake the Calbar. I thought about it, mostly because a particular friend (ahem, you know who you are) thought I should just go for it because I was so close, that with the easier scaling of the February exam, I'd probably pass. And yes, I was close. 12.5 points close, actually. And I'm super-duper ok with being that close, because it tells me that my hard work wasn't for naught. I did know my shit. It was just perhaps a grumpy grader. Because if I'd gotten 5 measly more points on 2 essays, I totally would have passed. Oh well. Anyways, my point: I thought about retaking it, and consciously and unemotionally decided NOT to. Yes, I will be a tad bit jealous of all of you getting sworn in tomorrow (and those who already did), but it's not hateful jealousy, just more like wistful jealousy.

7. I feel really, truly free after deciding not to retake the Calbar. I know this is not the place we're supposed to be, and although I've come to that realization kicking and screaming, and would have enjoyed living in northern California, I'm okay with that. The future is great that way - it provides a lovely little thing that this Calbar experience has done it's best to try and destroy - HOPE!

8. I've watched the movie Love, Actually way too many times in the past week.

9. I've been staying up super late every night. As in, I go to bed anytime between 1:00 a.m. and 3:00 a.m. And I know for some of you (EVE), that doesn't really sound late, but I'm normally a morning person. As in, whenever I have, oh say, a JOB, I get up at like 5:30/6:00 a.m. And I'm one of those annoying people who normally gets up early on the weekends, too - I just like getting up and feeling like you get so much accomplished and it's not even noon. And sleeping in makes me feel inherently lazy and worthless. But I'm not motivated enough to break the cycle. Augh.

10. How do they do those groovy HP commercials where the picture becomes real and vice versa?

11. One of my friends told me I need to get a hobby. So, I'm currently accepting submissions for a hobby idea. Cheap hobbies, preferrably.

12. Has anyone else noticed that the Blogger settings have changed so that you can't change the time of a post? This is aggravating to me, because I frequently get sidetracked when I'm writing a post, and so I like to change the time to reflect when I actually click on the "Publish Post" button. Since I seem to be prevented from doing so, I'd put the time for this post being published as: 12:15 a.m.

13. Ok, I'm boring myself, I think I've run out of things to talk about. Now, your turn.

Pilfering, at it's finest...

So, I totally pilfered this from a random blog I came across, and like any good plagiarist, I didn't note what site it was. Anyways, I think music says a lot about people, and felt like doing a fun, lazy post. So here's the deal: go to iTunes or whatever music program you use, and sort and search the following. And yes, I want ALL OF YOU to do this with me.

How many songs: 1690 (I haven't put all my CD's in yet...I'm lazy.)

'Sort by song title-
First Song: “40” by U2
Last Song: “Zwischenstuck” by ATB

Sort by time -
Shortest Song: “17” by Smashing Pumpkins
Longest Song: “A Long Day” by The Polyphonic Spree

Sort by album -
First Album: 0304 by Jewel (oh STOP JUDGING, it's a sucky album, I KNOW.)
Last Album: Zooropa by U2

Top Five Recently Played Songs: (this was originally Most Played Songs, but I like my version better. So there.)
1. "Sleigh Ride" by Harry Connick, Jr.
2. "Do They Know It’s Christmas?" by Band Aid
3. "Crooked Teeth" by Death Cab for Cutie
4. "An Honest Mistake" by The Bravery
5. "Waltz (Better Than Fine)" by Fiona Apple

First song that comes up on Shuffle: Fire by U2 (off of the October album)

Search:"sex", how many songs come up? 1 – “You Sexy Thing” by Hot Chocolate
"death", how many songs come up? 16
"love", how many songs come up? 85
"you", how many songs come up? 167

listening to right now? “Have Yourself a Merry Little Xmas (Life)” by Coldplay

YAY FOR WINE!

How to make this gnome happy:

1. Yummy red wine.

2. The Pixies on Austin City Limits. Thank you, PBS, for being so cool.

3. Chocolate chips. Num.

Things are getting a bit stinky...

Husband: So, what do you want to do today?

Me: Oh, I thought it might be nice to take a shower.

Husband: Did you take a shower yesterday?

Me: No.

Husband: Come here! HIGH FIVE!

woo-hoo...it's December...

Wow. My day has been just chock full of activity:

1. I took a shower. I took a shower before 3:00 p.m.

2. I watched Ocean's Eleven.

3. I had a Corona.

4. Husband & I went grocery shopping and had a late lunch.

5. I watched Ocean's Twelve.

6. I played fetch with my cat (I swear he's more dog than cat).

7. I ate a banana with peanut butter (natural, creamy). Yummy.

8. I played a Bach Fugue (from the Well-Tempered Clavier, Book I) on my brand new, early Christmas present piano keyboard.

9. I am currently watching Snatch.

10. I am debating between having a beer, a glass of wine (red or white?), or a vodka cranberry. Hmmm. Decisions, decisions.

11. Husband has off from work tonight (he works nights) and so I think I may see just how late I can stay up tonight. Not like I have anything to get up for tomorrow...

12. Oh, I got a santa hat at the grocery store. I'm currently wearing it. I might take a picture of me wearing it. I might post said picture. But that's a lot of mights.

13. The cat thinks the white pom on the end of my santa hat is his personal chew toy. I think he's teething because he's chewing on everything. Do cats even teethe (sp?) or is he just being attitudinal?

14. I think I might watch the remake of The Thomas Crown Affair after Snatch is over, although Husband may kill me if I do since I've seen it approximately 5,000 times. And no, I'm not really exaggerating.

15. Phew! Exhausting, I tell you. What a busy day.

Yes, I'd like that...

This morning Husband was making me breakfast, and asked if I'd like a side of esteem with my bagel.

the dust has settled a bit...

Thanksgiving was nice. My parents came to visit. This was a bit nerve-wracking, because I haven't really had the best relationship with them. But things went well. We did a lot of sight seeing, cooking, eating, shopping...eating...eating...eating. (Yay for carbs.) My parents got the cat a laser pointer toy, and I've never seen a cat go so nuts before - he literally follow that about 3 1/2 feet up a wall.

And now that Thanksgiving is over, I just sort of feel a bit lost. I don't think it's really sunk in yet that I'm no longer employed. Can we say "denial"? I mean, I've had lots of other jobs, some full-time, some temp, some part-time, and I've never had any problems where I've worked...not to mention that I've never been fired.

So I've been listening to a lot of Death Cab for Cutie...and sort of just moping around. The cat has been nice companionship. I got a free pass to see an advanced screening for the movie The Producers tonight, but I never called in to tell them I was planning to go. And I'm not really feeling up for leaving the apartment. In fact, I sort of just want to crawl back into bed. And I would, except Husband is back to working nights, so he's sleeping right now.

I think this really fully explains where I'm at: if somebody gave me free money and told me to shopping and buy myself whatever I wanted, I'd probably say "thanks, just leave the money on the counter" and continue to lay here listelessly on the couch. Furthermore, if somebody told me to pack because they were giving me an all-expense paid island vacation, I'd probably just shrug and say "ok, do I have to go now?" And that, my friends, is saying a lot.

As far as FUTURE PLANS go, I haven't really settled on anything. Husband and I are thinking fairly seriously about Seattle, but we don't want to make any decisions until we've done our research. We're thinking about going up to Seattle for a few days in January to do some apartment hunting and hopefully job interviewing. The nice thing is that the company Husband works for is all over the states, and he can be transferred to any store in any state, so that just leaves me to find a job. Joy. Anyways, IF ANYONE HAS ANY WISDOM/TIDBITS/KNOWLEDGE TO IMPART ABOUT SEATTLE, PLEASE SHARE.

Ok, back to watching crappy daytime TV... *sigh*

Sympathy, part two...

Well, as if this week couldn't get worse, I GOT FIRED YESTERDAY.

First tell you that some of you were spot-on with your guesses that the Conversant from Monday's post was a higher up. In fact, it was MY BOSS. And this gets so much more unfuckingbelieveable ...

Let me preface this whole getting fired scenario with a little background info. First, my BOSS was about the most passive aggressive individual I've ever dealt with. Ever. On Monday afternoon, Boss asked me if I would drive him to where his car was being repaired. I didn't really feel comfortable with this, so I said I couldn't. He gets instantly upset and said in a highly pissed off voice: "well THANKS A LOT for helping me out."

I usually leave at around 4:00-4:15 p.m. At 3:45 p.m., the BOSS calls me into his office. If I would have had any inkling that I was about to get canned, I would have beaten him to the punch and resigned. But I didn't even see it coming. So, he says "I've talked to everyone, and while they all really like you as a person, EVERYONE feels that you're just not a team player, and we've decided that today will just go ahead and be your last day."

I respond with the only thing I can think of: "well, I think it's really better for all of us." Can we say LAME?!?

Since I still have some time before I would normally leave for the day, I go back out to make sure there are no loose ends and everything is tied up. So I'm in the middle of writing an email to a co-worker, telling her what else needs to be done on a few items, and he comes in and says "WHY are you still here? WHEN are you leaving?"

I respond: "well, I thought I would just stay until I normally leave."

Boss: "WHY?!" [keep in mind that he's saying everything tinged with anger.] "Why don't you just leave now?"

me: "well, I'm not that kind of person and I wanted to make sure there were no loose ends."

I don't quite remember, but me not being a "team player" was brought up again. And then I decided to spit back a little bit, so I said: "furthermore, I have talked to the associates, and that is not what they have intimated to me."

Boss: "WELL, that's the problem, THEY JUST CAN'T COMMUNICATE WITH YOU."

What?!? So, apparently nobody can communicate with me? That's just complete bullshit. Seriously. I had a great working relationship with everyone else in that firm, and everyone's take on the Boss is just essentially to roll their eyes. [Have I mentioned the high turnover rate at this firm?]

Anyways, he asks me several times if I've left my key, and escorts me down in the elevator. And in the elevator, he says, in the most annoyed voice ever: "good luck with Indiana or Illinois or wherever it is that you're going to."

He had the file clerk accompany me to my car and out of the parking garage so I could give her my parking card. I mean, seriously. He even had my last check ready. And it wasn't coming from the usual paycheck source - it was handwritten from the firm's general account.

The thing is, I honestly think it was him who thought I wasn't a team player because I wouldn't take him to get his car. Really.


So, really, I think the past 5 days have just TAKEN THE CAKE. WHITE FLAG! WHITE FLAG!

Sympathy is NOT billable!

An ACTUAL conversation I had today:

Conversant: I could ask, but I'm guessing you didn't pass the bar.

Me: That's correct.

Conversant: Well, it's only six months out of your life, you'll just have to do it again. You'll get over it.

Me: Actually, I'm not going to be taking the California Bar Exam again.

Conversant: WHAT?!!

Me: Husband & I are planning to move out of state sometime around February.

Conversant (with palpable distaste and contempt): WHY NOT? CAN YOU NOT HANDLE IT? IT IS TOO MUCH FOR YOU TO DEAL WITH? You're just going to AVOID it and move out of the state?

Me: Well, Husband & I moved out here from Michigan kind of on a lark, and it hasn't worked out well. We have never really adjusted to living out here, and have never enjoyed it. Furthermore, neither of us has family out here, and we're just not happy living here.

Conversant: Well, I should hope your attitude improves about this, because I don't want you moping about this still by Friday.

Me (cheeks getting red with shocked anger): I should hope everyone would be understanding today.

Conversant: Of course.

Me: What do you mean, then?

Conversant: Well, I don't want you bringing down the MORALE of this firm. So I hope you're not still moping by the end of the week.


And all the people said: unFUCKINGbelievable.

doesn't this just SUCK

Apparently, the cosmic gods are trying to tell me something: passing the California bar exam was not meant to be.

I. GET. IT.

The strange thing is that I'm not emotional, just sort of in shock and "huh?!". I just don't get it. I'm really trying to embrace the "it is what it is" approach, but I'm still just gobsmacked. Obviously, it wasn't the right time and it wasn't meant to be, at least not right now. But damn, if this doesn't just completely blow.

And please, no pity. My fractured ego and self-respect is tenuous as it is, and I have the very big task ahead of me of going into work on Monday and swallowing whatever dignity I have left. So no urban legends, no pity, please.

oh, lordy

My heart is going to pound right through my chest.

Crickey.

holy shit

My anxiety is interfering with my ability to write in anything other than lists. Here are my current anxiety-addled thoughts:

1) The good news is that tomorrow this mindfuck of a process will be over.

2) What kind of sicko set up this terrible California bar exam process?

3) What kind of sociopath decided that after studying for 2-3 months, you should be forced to wait for four ridiculous months for the results of a three day test.

4) I think there's a special place in hell for the people behind #3 above, especially the four month waiting process.

5) Tonight Husband took me for non-fish sushi (cucumber/avocado rolls) and then shopping for vodka & chocolate. I think I'm set for tomorrow night.

6) I don't want to go to work tomorrow but I don't want to stay at home tomorrow either. I don't think I'll be able to focus or come down off my mental ledge at either place, so I might as well just go to work and be a mess there so I'm not burning a hole in my carpet pacing.

7) I cannot tell you how much I think I will come undone if I have to go through this process again.

8) I want to pass this damn exam. I want to pass it so badly I cannot breath properly.

9) I feel like I'm going to have a heart attack before 6:00 p.m. tomorrow.

10) I think I need to invent a way to get alcohol intravaneously, for moments like these.

Way to go, me...

So, apparently you can stress yourself SICK.

*sigh*

Time, you evil little wench.

The worst. possible. thing. ever: being already fairly panic-stricken and not having enough work to keep you busy, so you are forced to sit and think...and think...and panic...and panic...and oh, crap.

I just can't believe it's already monday...night. My stomach feels like an acid factory, and I have this lovely tightness around my chest. Hello, stress, soooooo glad to have you back.

Where did the past 4 months go? Seriously? Don't get me wrong: I'm soooooo ready for this whole process to be over - I'd like to be able to plan my future and get out of this holding pattern I've been in. But I just don't think I'll EVER be able to prepare for the possibility of not being able to move on.

Look ma, no hands!

This weekend my mother-in-law is coming for a visit. Unfortunately, I don't get tomorrow off, so that means doing snatch cleaning here and there. When it comes to me cleaning, Husband can attest to the fact that I can be a bit...ah...neurotic. Hee hee. I've been noticing lately how my couches were looking a bit hairy (thank you, cat), and it was kind of skeeving me out. So on the way home from work I stopped at Home Depot to rent a steam cleaner.

This was an excellent idea in theory.

First of all, if you're going by yourself to rent a steam cleaner, you should prepare yourself for some awkward lifting. Seriously. It took me a good 10 minutes to figure out how to get it into my trunk. And I was still wearing work clothes.

Secondly, you're supposed to vaccum your furniture first. And yes, when the directions suggest vaccuming first, they really do mean it. And yes, the steam cleaning works much better after the furniture's been vaccumed. Ha! Oh, and it takes a few hours for the furniture to dry out, even when you cover the furniture with blankets, so the cat can't frolic around on the wet-ish couches and make them all furry again.

Also, you may want to think twice about taking Husband's brand new car to return the rented steam cleaner, as it is extremely likely you'll drop the steam cleaner while putting it into the trunk, because the steam cleaner is so freaking awkard & heavy-ish to lift, and you will end up scratching the crap out of Husband's new car's bumper. Crap!

How to have a fabulous ending to a great weekend...

1. Start with a clean apartment.

2. Lather and rinse in a freshly cleaned bathroom.

3. Add in two freshly washed towels (love that downey-cleaned smell).

4. Mix in freshly washed pajamas (ditto for the downey).

5. Finish off on the couch with a glass of wine, kitten purring on your legs, catching up on TiVo.

ahhhhhh....

I heart margaritas

Here's how to have an excellent evening:

1) go to Chili's.

2) order an El Nino Margarita. (Be prepared for the toxic levels of alcohol contained therein.)

3) order chips & salsa, because trust me, by the time you get to the bottom of the El Nino, you'll want something to munch on.

4) Decide to go bowling.

5) Happen to be dressed fairly damn sexy, because you had originally dressed for a date, not for bowling.

6) get ogled, with accompanying lewd and lascivious comments, while waiting to order a beer, from an incredibly intoxiated individual.

7) avoid thinking about the objectification aspect of being ogled, and instead focus on the fact that your barzam weight gain resulted in incredible cleavage, which has stuck around while your post-barzam diet/exercise program has resulted in loss of weight. Hooray for cleavage!

55-friday will bite your ankles

She decided to sit with herself for a bit, mulling over the bits and pieces of conversation they'd shared. She knew she was reaching the inevitable conclusion.

Pensively, she raised the glass to her lips in a silent toast. They'd lived an excessively robust life, that was for sure.

"Congratulations," she said with a sigh.

Murphy, murphy, murphy...

1) Murphy's law says that the night you really need sleep will be the night you toss and turn for an hour, unable to fall into blissful slumber.

2) Murphy's law says that once you actually do fall asleep, a FALSE FIRE ALARM WILL GO OFF AT 1:30 A.M., keeping you awake for a full hour before it gets turned of and you can fall back asleep.

3) Murphy's law says that the day you are so tired everything hurts and you can hardly think straight, the other shoe you didn't know was hanging above you will drop with a loud, resounding thud. Oh, fuck.