So, if I'm not working and not shopping due to the lack of income, what have I been doing, you ask? I have been sucked into the ridiculous cuteness that is THIS.
I can't take it anymore!
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Friday, August 26, 2005
internet saga part III: all limbs MIA
(I tried, I really tried, to be all clever and put links to the parts I and II of this saga, but I just don't have the patience to figure out what I'm doing wrong. So you'll have to scroll down the page. Sorry, kids.)
Oh, this is just getting downright hysterical. Really.
I should have known things were going to go nowhere when the technician mentioned that there was a "closed, be back at 9:00 a.m." sign on the door...at 4:15 p.m. HA!
After a few calls, I finally raised someone in the office, who happened to be on a conference call and because she didn't know how long it would be, put the 'closed' sign on the door. Golly, I just love the dysfunctionality of this management. She tells me that the woman in what is fast becoming the holy grail of apartments is refusing to let anyone enter her apartment unless she is home. Oh, but she's happy to come home from work to be there. That's if someone from the leasing office happens to be able to actually reach her at her work.
And the really gorgeous bit about this is that the office apparently *tried* to call and tell us this USEFUL bit of information yesterday, but discovered that (this is truly brilliant) they didn't have our phone number. Because it's not like they can't put a freaking note on our doornob. And this has been since yesterday, people. They had the entirety of today, as well, given that the technician didn't get here until 4:00 pm.
So where does that leave us? Well, the technician (as it turns out, some contract guy the cable company had come out) is convinced that this woman is STEALING CABLE and that's why she doesn't want anyone in her apartment. And Husband says, with a smug look, that's what he's thought all along. Rrrrrrrrrright.
We still have the temporary connection, and if we can actually talk to anyone in the leasing office to find out when this wiley woman will be around tomorrow to tell the comcast people, we'll actually be able to get this (shocking thought) taken care of.
Oh, and with this temporary connection, the internet is continuously going in and out...during the course of typing this entry, it's gone out like 4 times. Lovely. The power of the holy grail apartment is far reaching and not to be underestimated. Be afraid, be very afraid.
Oh, this is just getting downright hysterical. Really.
I should have known things were going to go nowhere when the technician mentioned that there was a "closed, be back at 9:00 a.m." sign on the door...at 4:15 p.m. HA!
After a few calls, I finally raised someone in the office, who happened to be on a conference call and because she didn't know how long it would be, put the 'closed' sign on the door. Golly, I just love the dysfunctionality of this management. She tells me that the woman in what is fast becoming the holy grail of apartments is refusing to let anyone enter her apartment unless she is home. Oh, but she's happy to come home from work to be there. That's if someone from the leasing office happens to be able to actually reach her at her work.
And the really gorgeous bit about this is that the office apparently *tried* to call and tell us this USEFUL bit of information yesterday, but discovered that (this is truly brilliant) they didn't have our phone number. Because it's not like they can't put a freaking note on our doornob. And this has been since yesterday, people. They had the entirety of today, as well, given that the technician didn't get here until 4:00 pm.
So where does that leave us? Well, the technician (as it turns out, some contract guy the cable company had come out) is convinced that this woman is STEALING CABLE and that's why she doesn't want anyone in her apartment. And Husband says, with a smug look, that's what he's thought all along. Rrrrrrrrrright.
We still have the temporary connection, and if we can actually talk to anyone in the leasing office to find out when this wiley woman will be around tomorrow to tell the comcast people, we'll actually be able to get this (shocking thought) taken care of.
Oh, and with this temporary connection, the internet is continuously going in and out...during the course of typing this entry, it's gone out like 4 times. Lovely. The power of the holy grail apartment is far reaching and not to be underestimated. Be afraid, be very afraid.
55~Fiction~Friday
I know I missed last week - but I didn't have internet!!! Hopefully this will make up for it. Oh, and thanks to Eve for the idea!
She sighed, surveying the pieces of her life; tables filled with knick-knacks, old dishes, stacks of books, movies, records, yearbooks. How on earth had she managed to become the owner and provide a home to so much? She fingered a green-haired troll; did discarded items knew they were being cast off, unwanted, sold?
She sighed, surveying the pieces of her life; tables filled with knick-knacks, old dishes, stacks of books, movies, records, yearbooks. How on earth had she managed to become the owner and provide a home to so much? She fingered a green-haired troll; did discarded items knew they were being cast off, unwanted, sold?
loss of limb-internet saga part II
SO, Husband had the day off yesterday. Before the technician came, he went down to the leasing office to double check that all systems were 'go' for this quick, 5 minute repair (so swears the technician). Everything seemed to point to our little internet problem getting, oh, FIXED.
The technician arrived. He got into the apartment on the first floor, the problem wasn't there. He went to enter the apartment directly below mine, only to discover that the leasing office didn't specify where in the apartment they needed access to, so the people in that apartment LOCKED THE DOOR leading to the bedroom/bathroom wherein the closet with the problem cable wire resides. And the management of course doesn't have a key to this lock (that the tenant put on).
SO. The office did another 24-hour notice and this whole madness will hopefully be remedied this afternoon around 3:30 pm. Unless, of course, this tenant decided to put a lock on the closet containing the cable wire. Which I wouldn't be AT ALL surprised with at this point.
After much resistance, Husband convinced the leasing office to give us permission for the technician to run a temporary cable wire outside the building. We have to keep the sliding door open to our porch, and the cable wire runs down the side of the building, but I DON'T CARE. I have internet & TV, however temporary the situation turns out to be.
OK, and by way of reality check, I have on a morning show on Fox and they're showing this apartment building fire that's just started - the smoke is black, so the fire is still with full fury. I can't imagine being at work and, say, going into a break room and discovering that it's your apartment that's going up in flames. I guess my week hasn't been so bad! But really, how many of you apartment-dweller readings have apartment insurance? It's things like this that make me thing I really need to get it.
The technician arrived. He got into the apartment on the first floor, the problem wasn't there. He went to enter the apartment directly below mine, only to discover that the leasing office didn't specify where in the apartment they needed access to, so the people in that apartment LOCKED THE DOOR leading to the bedroom/bathroom wherein the closet with the problem cable wire resides. And the management of course doesn't have a key to this lock (that the tenant put on).
SO. The office did another 24-hour notice and this whole madness will hopefully be remedied this afternoon around 3:30 pm. Unless, of course, this tenant decided to put a lock on the closet containing the cable wire. Which I wouldn't be AT ALL surprised with at this point.
After much resistance, Husband convinced the leasing office to give us permission for the technician to run a temporary cable wire outside the building. We have to keep the sliding door open to our porch, and the cable wire runs down the side of the building, but I DON'T CARE. I have internet & TV, however temporary the situation turns out to be.
OK, and by way of reality check, I have on a morning show on Fox and they're showing this apartment building fire that's just started - the smoke is black, so the fire is still with full fury. I can't imagine being at work and, say, going into a break room and discovering that it's your apartment that's going up in flames. I guess my week hasn't been so bad! But really, how many of you apartment-dweller readings have apartment insurance? It's things like this that make me thing I really need to get it.
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Just cut off my right arm next time and we'll call it even-steven
AUGHHH!
I have been without internet & basic cable for a day over a solid week. It feels like 6 months. I never knew how debilitating not having internet access could possibly be!
Here's the story, people. Last week, I was enjoying my free preview of every cable station known to man (a nice perk of having basic cable - they give you free previews every now and again). I turned it off to work out, came back and BAM! NOTHING. No internet. No cable. Gone was the TLC/MTV/Discovery station orgy. *sniff*. But really, NO INTERNET?!?!?! GASP! You have got to be kidding.
And so begins the messy and rage-inducing saga of my life for the past 8 long, interminable days. To make matters even worse, our DVD player is on the fritz, so unless I want to watch a DVD on my laptop, it's watching and re-watching the videos. Grrrrr.
I can't even really go into all the sordid details of dealing with Comcast and the numbskulls that have taken over and fully staffed my apartment's management office. It just makes me too angry, and I've tried to be really zen about the whole thing and go on walks to the ocean for the calming effect. Suffice it to say, my apartment's management office is staffed with quite possibly the world's bitchiest secretary, who seriously makes me want to run out and buy a voodoo doll. She is single-handedly responsible for FAILING to give the 24-hour notice to the 2 apartments underneath mine so the Comcast people could go in and re-connect our internet and cable (don't get me started on why they wired only OUR apartment through the closet of the 2 apartments below me. What, am I surrounded by FRICKIN' IDIOTS?!?)
So we are 'theoretically' getting all our services back tomorrow afternoon between 1:00 pm and 5:00 pm. Hopefully this will be more successful than the Saturday, 1:00-5:00 pm OR the Tuesday, 9:00 am -12:00 pm appointments. Because I really can't take this having to come to the library, sign up for a computer time, and have to deal with these 'privacy' screens on the computer monitors that are inevitably completely BLURRY down the middle of the screen and it's making me dizzy, not to mention making it seriously difficult to actually read what I'm typing. But I daren't remove on pain of death, to be sure.
Anyways, peeps, I'm feeling very out of the loop. (I don't even get the newspaper, so I haven't even gotten any news for the past 8 days. And no, there's no extra money for buying a paper. Really.) I miss you all! Hopefully, by tomorrow night I'll be typing away...all about my visit to see a taping of Two and A Half Men...going to LA's Fashion District...all the books I haven't been able to finish reading...all the movies I've been watching...
So as my timer runs down (oh, don't think you can just hop on a library computer and use it willy-nilly), I'm going. I have email to check and news to read up on. And really, how have I lived through the past 8 days without knowing what TomKat's every move has been?!?! The cruelty!
I have been without internet & basic cable for a day over a solid week. It feels like 6 months. I never knew how debilitating not having internet access could possibly be!
Here's the story, people. Last week, I was enjoying my free preview of every cable station known to man (a nice perk of having basic cable - they give you free previews every now and again). I turned it off to work out, came back and BAM! NOTHING. No internet. No cable. Gone was the TLC/MTV/Discovery station orgy. *sniff*. But really, NO INTERNET?!?!?! GASP! You have got to be kidding.
And so begins the messy and rage-inducing saga of my life for the past 8 long, interminable days. To make matters even worse, our DVD player is on the fritz, so unless I want to watch a DVD on my laptop, it's watching and re-watching the videos. Grrrrr.
I can't even really go into all the sordid details of dealing with Comcast and the numbskulls that have taken over and fully staffed my apartment's management office. It just makes me too angry, and I've tried to be really zen about the whole thing and go on walks to the ocean for the calming effect. Suffice it to say, my apartment's management office is staffed with quite possibly the world's bitchiest secretary, who seriously makes me want to run out and buy a voodoo doll. She is single-handedly responsible for FAILING to give the 24-hour notice to the 2 apartments underneath mine so the Comcast people could go in and re-connect our internet and cable (don't get me started on why they wired only OUR apartment through the closet of the 2 apartments below me. What, am I surrounded by FRICKIN' IDIOTS?!?)
So we are 'theoretically' getting all our services back tomorrow afternoon between 1:00 pm and 5:00 pm. Hopefully this will be more successful than the Saturday, 1:00-5:00 pm OR the Tuesday, 9:00 am -12:00 pm appointments. Because I really can't take this having to come to the library, sign up for a computer time, and have to deal with these 'privacy' screens on the computer monitors that are inevitably completely BLURRY down the middle of the screen and it's making me dizzy, not to mention making it seriously difficult to actually read what I'm typing. But I daren't remove on pain of death, to be sure.
Anyways, peeps, I'm feeling very out of the loop. (I don't even get the newspaper, so I haven't even gotten any news for the past 8 days. And no, there's no extra money for buying a paper. Really.) I miss you all! Hopefully, by tomorrow night I'll be typing away...all about my visit to see a taping of Two and A Half Men...going to LA's Fashion District...all the books I haven't been able to finish reading...all the movies I've been watching...
So as my timer runs down (oh, don't think you can just hop on a library computer and use it willy-nilly), I'm going. I have email to check and news to read up on. And really, how have I lived through the past 8 days without knowing what TomKat's every move has been?!?! The cruelty!
Monday, August 15, 2005
doing my own 007...
So I was just going through some of the pics from my post-bar trip to the San Diego Zoo...and thought this one really fit my mood tonight.
Going Undercover
Going Undercover
Sunday, August 14, 2005
That's what I get for being curious...
In the past few months, I've gotten back in touch with people from high school and college. It's been really cool because I've been feeling all lonely and separated from family & friends waaaaay out here in LA. But it has inevitably left me feeling super nostalgic. Examples: being at boarding school for high school (it was a religious thing, not a disciplinary thing) and dealing with stupid rules and deans & doing the Austin Powers dance [yes, Val, I'm talkin' to you]; living across the hall from Ladyberries* in college and letting Sinead O'Connor get us through the dramas; living on the lake during law school and all those law school shenanigans and highlighter fights with Kav...*
Naturally, this leads me to be curious about other people I've lost touch with, mostly those from college. Through searching the links on one of my college friends' websites, I found a site of one of my college boyfriends' friends. And it had pictures of the college boyfriend on it. This led me to compulsively google him and the other college boyfriends, because I somehow became possessed with having to know what they're doing (read: how crappy their lives inevitably are, duh).
This is where I become befuddled: I tracked down the 2 major college boyfriends, and reading about them caused me to have an actual physical reaction. And I don't mean a good reaction. It was completely awful. I felt like something was sitting on my chest and that I was going to start hyperventilating. And neither of the boyfriends were necessarily bad relationships, just cases of badly matched people, I guess.
At this point I feel like I need to say that I don't know the last time I thought about either of these 2 college boyfriends. I have to just blame it on the nostalgia and blatant curiosity, because it's been at least a good 7-8 years since these relationships, and I was never one to jump from boyfriend to boyfriend. So what gives with the bad physical reaction? I dunno. Both of the breakups were really bad, but I'm not one to go with the 'we're still good friends' load of BS. As Husband likes to say, with me it's "all or nothing".
So if anyone has anything to say about this, let it flow, please.
*OK, guys, sorry if you didn't want our past outed, but it's packs of lovely memories for me, so deal. :)
Naturally, this leads me to be curious about other people I've lost touch with, mostly those from college. Through searching the links on one of my college friends' websites, I found a site of one of my college boyfriends' friends. And it had pictures of the college boyfriend on it. This led me to compulsively google him and the other college boyfriends, because I somehow became possessed with having to know what they're doing (read: how crappy their lives inevitably are, duh).
This is where I become befuddled: I tracked down the 2 major college boyfriends, and reading about them caused me to have an actual physical reaction. And I don't mean a good reaction. It was completely awful. I felt like something was sitting on my chest and that I was going to start hyperventilating. And neither of the boyfriends were necessarily bad relationships, just cases of badly matched people, I guess.
At this point I feel like I need to say that I don't know the last time I thought about either of these 2 college boyfriends. I have to just blame it on the nostalgia and blatant curiosity, because it's been at least a good 7-8 years since these relationships, and I was never one to jump from boyfriend to boyfriend. So what gives with the bad physical reaction? I dunno. Both of the breakups were really bad, but I'm not one to go with the 'we're still good friends' load of BS. As Husband likes to say, with me it's "all or nothing".
So if anyone has anything to say about this, let it flow, please.
*OK, guys, sorry if you didn't want our past outed, but it's packs of lovely memories for me, so deal. :)
Oh, this is just cute
And to think, what rejected crayon you are all turns on the color underwear you are presently wearing.
You are |
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Friday, August 12, 2005
55 Fiction Fridays
So this is my second attempt - it went much more smoothly than last week's.
"Hey! Over here!" he called. She glanced around, searching. Ah, she thought, there you are. As she walked toward him, she pondered how to let him know. She paused. Okay, here goes. "You're great, but I just can't." "Okay", he said, "I'll be here next Sunday, same place, same price."
"Hey! Over here!" he called. She glanced around, searching. Ah, she thought, there you are. As she walked toward him, she pondered how to let him know. She paused. Okay, here goes. "You're great, but I just can't." "Okay", he said, "I'll be here next Sunday, same place, same price."
Sir Mix-a-Lot
Can anyone tell me why Sir Mix-a-Lot is doing Target commercials?
No, really, why? I mean, is he that strapped for cash? Can anyone answer this mystery for me?
No, really, why? I mean, is he that strapped for cash? Can anyone answer this mystery for me?
Thursday, August 11, 2005
Fat Camp
So, this is how this particular fat camper falls off the fat camp wagon. Oy vey.
I'd decided to start fat camp last week to shave off those 'barzam' pounds. I've been doing pretty good - going for walks, doing Billy Blanks' form of torture, yoga, the elliptical machine (not all on the same day!). I've also really cut down on my alcohol intake and limiting my sugar intake.
However, when Husband said he was going grocery shopping last night, I got a craving for those damn sugar cookies. Talk about a way to jump off the fat camp train. Woo! I ate 1 1/2 of those last night - and my body experienced something akin to euphoria. It was wonderful. Of course when you're at fat camp, one must pay the price for such indiscretions, and mine today was rollerblading along the beach. Not much of a punishment, but exercise nonetheless. And good thing I've got almost a full container of those cookies. Hee!
I'd decided to start fat camp last week to shave off those 'barzam' pounds. I've been doing pretty good - going for walks, doing Billy Blanks' form of torture, yoga, the elliptical machine (not all on the same day!). I've also really cut down on my alcohol intake and limiting my sugar intake.
However, when Husband said he was going grocery shopping last night, I got a craving for those damn sugar cookies. Talk about a way to jump off the fat camp train. Woo! I ate 1 1/2 of those last night - and my body experienced something akin to euphoria. It was wonderful. Of course when you're at fat camp, one must pay the price for such indiscretions, and mine today was rollerblading along the beach. Not much of a punishment, but exercise nonetheless. And good thing I've got almost a full container of those cookies. Hee!
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
penguins, TV, and books I'm currently hating
Finally went to see "March of the Penguins" last night. OMG. Daddy, I want a baby penguin NOW!!! Can you get much cuter than a baby penguin? And jeez, I think if human parents had to go through even 1/3 of the effort penguin parents do in order to have children, Britney Spears may not be pregnant right now. Hee!
I've decided that TV holds much more fascination when you're watching it to avoid doing other things. I'm still watching some evening TV (am I the only one excited about Boston Legal tonight?), but daytime TV has totally lost it for me. It's sad, actually, because even a few weeks ago, I couldn't wait to be able to watch The View, Oprah, Ellen, and Cosby re-runs guilt-free. And now I just don't care.
As far as my reading list goes, I think I'm going to have to incorporate a category entitled: BOOKS I REFUSE TO FINISH. I've so far slogged my way through the first 40 pages of Catch-22, and it just makes me want to gouge my eyes out. Maybe I'm not reading it with the proper perspective, but seriously, Yossarian, we need to chat, because right now I just want to smack the crap out of you. Is anyone else reading this book and feeling the same way? And can somebody explain to me why this book has gotten such good reviews? Gag.
Anyways, time time to get back to my Bond movie...nothing like a good 007 afternoon.
I've decided that TV holds much more fascination when you're watching it to avoid doing other things. I'm still watching some evening TV (am I the only one excited about Boston Legal tonight?), but daytime TV has totally lost it for me. It's sad, actually, because even a few weeks ago, I couldn't wait to be able to watch The View, Oprah, Ellen, and Cosby re-runs guilt-free. And now I just don't care.
As far as my reading list goes, I think I'm going to have to incorporate a category entitled: BOOKS I REFUSE TO FINISH. I've so far slogged my way through the first 40 pages of Catch-22, and it just makes me want to gouge my eyes out. Maybe I'm not reading it with the proper perspective, but seriously, Yossarian, we need to chat, because right now I just want to smack the crap out of you. Is anyone else reading this book and feeling the same way? And can somebody explain to me why this book has gotten such good reviews? Gag.
Anyways, time time to get back to my Bond movie...nothing like a good 007 afternoon.
Friday, August 05, 2005
55 Fiction Fridays
So, I'm joining Maisnon and Neel Mehta in starting my own 55 Fiction Fridays.
She sat in his favorite chair with a glass of Pinot Grigio, studying her nails. How had it happened? All the correct elements were there. The proper approach was taken. The perfect combination of elements, approach, and time, yet it was terrible. She'd never figure out how she managed to keep ruining the baked potatoes.
(As it turns out, this was like pulling teeth for me to get 55 words of fiction out. The story kept taking turns I didn't want to go with, and I had to keep starting over. With 27 words, I'd already spent about 10 minutes. But I think this will turn out to be a good mental exercise for me. Me, with the creative writing undergrad degree. 10 minutes to come up with 27 words of fiction. HA! Okay, so it took me 30 minutes to craft the whole thing, and it's really stinky. But it was fun! You should try it!)
She sat in his favorite chair with a glass of Pinot Grigio, studying her nails. How had it happened? All the correct elements were there. The proper approach was taken. The perfect combination of elements, approach, and time, yet it was terrible. She'd never figure out how she managed to keep ruining the baked potatoes.
(As it turns out, this was like pulling teeth for me to get 55 words of fiction out. The story kept taking turns I didn't want to go with, and I had to keep starting over. With 27 words, I'd already spent about 10 minutes. But I think this will turn out to be a good mental exercise for me. Me, with the creative writing undergrad degree. 10 minutes to come up with 27 words of fiction. HA! Okay, so it took me 30 minutes to craft the whole thing, and it's really stinky. But it was fun! You should try it!)
Book Reviews
(I'll be periodically updating this posting as I work my way through my library loot.)
Rule of Four: ok, I got hooked after Chai warned me away from it. I kept expecting it to become something great, but it didn't. I felt like the book couldn't decide whether to be a Dan Brown-DaVinci-Code-thrilling-adventure or a college-coming-of-age story. I think it would have been better had it committed to one or the other. But it just seemed to waffle. And that bugged the crap out of me. I really enjoyed the bits where it was a college-coming-of-age story, but when it would get into the thrilling-adventure bit, it just didn't jive.
Rule of Four: ok, I got hooked after Chai warned me away from it. I kept expecting it to become something great, but it didn't. I felt like the book couldn't decide whether to be a Dan Brown-DaVinci-Code-thrilling-adventure or a college-coming-of-age story. I think it would have been better had it committed to one or the other. But it just seemed to waffle. And that bugged the crap out of me. I really enjoyed the bits where it was a college-coming-of-age story, but when it would get into the thrilling-adventure bit, it just didn't jive.
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
Loot from the library
I went to the library today to stock up. Here's what I came home with:
Trying to Save Piggy Sneed - John Irving (shamed to admit I've never read any John Irving)
Catch-22 - Joseph Heller (a book I think I ought to read)
Women In Love - D.H. Lawrence (looked great)
Lolita - Nabokov (another book I think I ought to read)
The Rule of Four - Ian Caldwell & Dustin Thomason (looked interesting)
The Alienist - Caleb Carr (I keep seeing this book everwhere)
I'm on the waitlist for:
A Prayer for Owen Meany (thanks, kav!)
Reading Lolita in Tehran
Mr. Maybe (thanks, CariG!)
Assassination Vacation (thanks, kav!)
Feel free to tell me how lame/awesome you think my choices are, and what else I should be reading. Oh, and I'll definitely post my reviews as I work my way through the books.
Trying to Save Piggy Sneed - John Irving (shamed to admit I've never read any John Irving)
Catch-22 - Joseph Heller (a book I think I ought to read)
Women In Love - D.H. Lawrence (looked great)
Lolita - Nabokov (another book I think I ought to read)
The Rule of Four - Ian Caldwell & Dustin Thomason (looked interesting)
The Alienist - Caleb Carr (I keep seeing this book everwhere)
I'm on the waitlist for:
A Prayer for Owen Meany (thanks, kav!)
Reading Lolita in Tehran
Mr. Maybe (thanks, CariG!)
Assassination Vacation (thanks, kav!)
Feel free to tell me how lame/awesome you think my choices are, and what else I should be reading. Oh, and I'll definitely post my reviews as I work my way through the books.
Cracker Jack Box Surprise
(Warning: this posting isn't for men, really. I mean, unless you've got a penchant for reading about women's body issues. And if that sort of thing is up your alley, well, then I can't help you.)
Yesterday, as I was sitting in Vegas, all nice and relaxed, I had a thunderbolt of reality hit me on the 'noggin. I remembered I had a gyno appointment this morning. I didn't want to re-schedule it because I didn't want the $25 charge (stupid cancellation fee) and it was my first non-planned parenthood doctor visit in about 5 years, not to mention the fact that it's been about 2 years since my last checkup under the hood. (Naughty, I know. Lay off.) So since I was a little excited about getting good care for my nether regions, we drove back last night so I could go get poked and proded today.
During the exam is when the FIRST cracker jack box surprise occurred. Apparently, the 'yearly' exam now includes a lovely little anal probe. AH! HA HA HA HA! SURPRISE! Why haven't you other women been telling each other this little tidbit? And why has nobody told ME about this?!?
The SECOND cracker jack box surprise occurred when the doctor sent me for an ultrasound. And not the kind of ultrasound where they put jelly on your belly and slide the thing over it. No. This kind of ultrasound involves a sort of wand that they insert. AH HAH! LOVELY! SURPRISE! And it wasn't just that, it was the fact that they poke and prode inside the uterus. AHHHHHHHH! PAINPAINPAIN! As it turns out, I've got a collapsed cyst on one side and definite endometriosis symptoms on the other side of my uterus. (The WHITE-HOT pain was the indicator, apparently.)
Surprises aside, it was a lovely visit and I HEART this doctor. She's FABULOUS. And the office bathroom was the loveliest, coziest, nicest doctor's-office-bathroom I've been in, and that's saying something. And it's nice to know that my atomic-bomb cramps have a cause that's not just in my head.
Anyways, ladies, just so you know, prepare for the anal surprise and the ultrasound wand surprise next time you go for a visit. I just want all my peeps to be prepared.
Yesterday, as I was sitting in Vegas, all nice and relaxed, I had a thunderbolt of reality hit me on the 'noggin. I remembered I had a gyno appointment this morning. I didn't want to re-schedule it because I didn't want the $25 charge (stupid cancellation fee) and it was my first non-planned parenthood doctor visit in about 5 years, not to mention the fact that it's been about 2 years since my last checkup under the hood. (Naughty, I know. Lay off.) So since I was a little excited about getting good care for my nether regions, we drove back last night so I could go get poked and proded today.
During the exam is when the FIRST cracker jack box surprise occurred. Apparently, the 'yearly' exam now includes a lovely little anal probe. AH! HA HA HA HA! SURPRISE! Why haven't you other women been telling each other this little tidbit? And why has nobody told ME about this?!?
The SECOND cracker jack box surprise occurred when the doctor sent me for an ultrasound. And not the kind of ultrasound where they put jelly on your belly and slide the thing over it. No. This kind of ultrasound involves a sort of wand that they insert. AH HAH! LOVELY! SURPRISE! And it wasn't just that, it was the fact that they poke and prode inside the uterus. AHHHHHHHH! PAINPAINPAIN! As it turns out, I've got a collapsed cyst on one side and definite endometriosis symptoms on the other side of my uterus. (The WHITE-HOT pain was the indicator, apparently.)
Surprises aside, it was a lovely visit and I HEART this doctor. She's FABULOUS. And the office bathroom was the loveliest, coziest, nicest doctor's-office-bathroom I've been in, and that's saying something. And it's nice to know that my atomic-bomb cramps have a cause that's not just in my head.
Anyways, ladies, just so you know, prepare for the anal surprise and the ultrasound wand surprise next time you go for a visit. I just want all my peeps to be prepared.
Monday, August 01, 2005
Relaxation Central
So I'm in Vegas right now (anyone coming? Wanna get drinks?) and we keep extending our stay because we don't want to go home - it's just so darn relaxing and quiet and NICE. Except that we're ripping someone else's wireless internet, so the signal sucks and the internet is SLOW and it DRIVES ME CRAZY to do anything online because although I'm relaxed, I'm not blessed with the virtue of patience.
But I'm enjoying the alcohol, food, swimming, gambling (I'm a penny-slot-maching maniac), and total and unabashed TV over-indulgence. It's FABULOUS. I'm currently watching the 40 awesomely bad/worst dirrty bad songs on VH1. It's lovely, and I think R. Kelly is wearing the crown for the MOST bad songs on this list. Hee hee hee.
Anyways, I'm just feeling so out of touch with the rest of the blogging world that I had to suffer through the wretched internet to post.
And I realize I totally neglected to mention in my last posting CARI G. Thanks for being such a great friend over the years! I can't wait 'till you come home!
But I'm enjoying the alcohol, food, swimming, gambling (I'm a penny-slot-maching maniac), and total and unabashed TV over-indulgence. It's FABULOUS. I'm currently watching the 40 awesomely bad/worst dirrty bad songs on VH1. It's lovely, and I think R. Kelly is wearing the crown for the MOST bad songs on this list. Hee hee hee.
Anyways, I'm just feeling so out of touch with the rest of the blogging world that I had to suffer through the wretched internet to post.
And I realize I totally neglected to mention in my last posting CARI G. Thanks for being such a great friend over the years! I can't wait 'till you come home!
Thursday, July 28, 2005
OK, so I'd like to thank the Academy..
SO, before I go to eat supper and continue the drunken spree, here's who I'd like to thank:
Mz. Rao- for being my sounding board and whining source through this process. I don't know how I could have gotten through the process without you. It will take a lifetime to thank you for your understanding and support.
Ms. KAV - !!! what can I POSSIBLY say - you saved me through law school with your friendship, and saved me through the bar with your memorization sheets. The postcards EVERY DAY IN JULY and the Christmas-in-July-bar-care-package also HELPED IMMENSLY. without you, I'd be in a straight-jacket...seriously! THANKS! If I was clever, I'd be able to link to your site, so everyone go read me link to: CarterSimone.blogspot.com/. I have her bookmarked, so GO CHECK HER OUT because she's WITTY and CLEVER and about the best friend a girl could ask for.
GG: your humor and honesty was FABULOUS! PASS!!! I hope you PASS and wish you only the best things in life. Again, if I was web-savvy, I'd do a clever link to: barexam2005.blospot.com.
JM: YOU CRACK ME UP!!! I wish you were moving to LA or I was moving to San Fran NOW because we would *totally* be friends. And her site is: pagingmrgreen.blogspot.com. As soon as I move to San Fran we are SO TOTALLY getting together, along with GG, because I think both of you guys R-O-C-K in that cheerleader, 'give me an 'R' sort of way.
Eve: again, sorry I'm not web-savvy enough to link to you, and I'm on Husband's MAC computer, so I don't have your weblog favorite-ed, so I can't link to it, but you're SO NICE and INSPIRATIONAL and GOOD FOR THE SOUL.
Witty Sex Kitten: thanks for providing such humor and coming along for the ride. (see the web-savvy excuse above).
Law Fairy: 'ditto' above comments for GG and JM. And perhaps I feel an inordinant connection to you with the whole Chicago thing. See above web-savvy excuse after.
HUSBAND: thanks for putting up with me during this process THREE TIMES. And thanks for putting up with me this time enough to come to the hotel with me. YOU ROCK. And getting me Body Shop giftS totally gets you 3 FULL DAYS of beer wench. I LOVE YOU!!!
FAMILY: thanks for putting up with my fixation with California. I know you are all in the Midwest and can't figure out why Husband and I moved WAY the f*ck out to LA, but thanks for bearing with me. You guys rock.
LADYBERRIES: thanks for getting curious about me and geting back in contact with me. It feels REALLY GOOD to have support from the college days. YOU ROCK.
VAL: I know you read & don't comment, so here's a BIG shout-out to you- you meant a LOT as a high school friend, and you mean A LOT as a current friend. Thanks for getting back in touch with me during the past few months and being so supportive. YOU ROCK, too.
Divster: thanks for being such a nice friend who excuses me temporarily droping off the face of the earth and willing to jump in and be supporting. YOU ROCK, too.
TAYLOR: OMG, I am SO GLAD we got back in touch after 15 (approximately) years. YOU ROCK, TOO!
Mz. Rao- for being my sounding board and whining source through this process. I don't know how I could have gotten through the process without you. It will take a lifetime to thank you for your understanding and support.
Ms. KAV - !!! what can I POSSIBLY say - you saved me through law school with your friendship, and saved me through the bar with your memorization sheets. The postcards EVERY DAY IN JULY and the Christmas-in-July-bar-care-package also HELPED IMMENSLY. without you, I'd be in a straight-jacket...seriously! THANKS! If I was clever, I'd be able to link to your site, so everyone go read me link to: CarterSimone.blogspot.com/. I have her bookmarked, so GO CHECK HER OUT because she's WITTY and CLEVER and about the best friend a girl could ask for.
GG: your humor and honesty was FABULOUS! PASS!!! I hope you PASS and wish you only the best things in life. Again, if I was web-savvy, I'd do a clever link to: barexam2005.blospot.com.
JM: YOU CRACK ME UP!!! I wish you were moving to LA or I was moving to San Fran NOW because we would *totally* be friends. And her site is: pagingmrgreen.blogspot.com. As soon as I move to San Fran we are SO TOTALLY getting together, along with GG, because I think both of you guys R-O-C-K in that cheerleader, 'give me an 'R' sort of way.
Eve: again, sorry I'm not web-savvy enough to link to you, and I'm on Husband's MAC computer, so I don't have your weblog favorite-ed, so I can't link to it, but you're SO NICE and INSPIRATIONAL and GOOD FOR THE SOUL.
Witty Sex Kitten: thanks for providing such humor and coming along for the ride. (see the web-savvy excuse above).
Law Fairy: 'ditto' above comments for GG and JM. And perhaps I feel an inordinant connection to you with the whole Chicago thing. See above web-savvy excuse after.
HUSBAND: thanks for putting up with me during this process THREE TIMES. And thanks for putting up with me this time enough to come to the hotel with me. YOU ROCK. And getting me Body Shop giftS totally gets you 3 FULL DAYS of beer wench. I LOVE YOU!!!
FAMILY: thanks for putting up with my fixation with California. I know you are all in the Midwest and can't figure out why Husband and I moved WAY the f*ck out to LA, but thanks for bearing with me. You guys rock.
LADYBERRIES: thanks for getting curious about me and geting back in contact with me. It feels REALLY GOOD to have support from the college days. YOU ROCK.
VAL: I know you read & don't comment, so here's a BIG shout-out to you- you meant a LOT as a high school friend, and you mean A LOT as a current friend. Thanks for getting back in touch with me during the past few months and being so supportive. YOU ROCK, too.
Divster: thanks for being such a nice friend who excuses me temporarily droping off the face of the earth and willing to jump in and be supporting. YOU ROCK, too.
TAYLOR: OMG, I am SO GLAD we got back in touch after 15 (approximately) years. YOU ROCK, TOO!
OH YEAH, BABY, IT'S DONE
SO, I've had sex twice (I packed husband in the luggage and booked an extra night so I wouldn't have to pack) and drank most of a bottle of champagne!!!
I'm going to go eat and blog later... WAY TO GO, ALL MY COMPATROTS! YOU DID IT!
I'm going to go eat and blog later... WAY TO GO, ALL MY COMPATROTS! YOU DID IT!
Monday, July 25, 2005
There it is, the good old fashioned Cry Therapy
I was starting to be a big jealous of those of my compatriots in this exam process who had already gotten their Cry on. (Sorry kids, not web-savvy enough to know how to do one of those cool links so I can give proper credit - I promise to learn after the bar. For those in the know, I was thinking of JM over at Paging Mr. Green) WELL, that just got laid to rest.
My emotions have been a bit all over the place today - ecstatic to psychotic to pensive to downright morose. Tonight I tried to look over some checklists and couldn't focuse AT ALL. So I watched a bit of mindless TV and then decided to have a Lush-filled bubble bath.
I was in the middle of enjoying it and had started saying self-affirming things such as: "I'm gonna' do great!", "I'm feeling great!" (a la Bob Wiley style from What About Bob). And in literally 2 seconds I went from feeling calm and peaceful to completely bawling my eyes out. Seriously, great, body-shaking sobs. So now I got my Cry on. I'm feeling nice and calm, except my eyes are all aflame, so I'm going to slather on my comforting Vanilla Bean Noel lotion (I know, not season-appropriate...well just deal) and read through my Madonna-laden Vogue, and go to sleep. IT'S TIME TO SHINE, KITTENS!
My emotions have been a bit all over the place today - ecstatic to psychotic to pensive to downright morose. Tonight I tried to look over some checklists and couldn't focuse AT ALL. So I watched a bit of mindless TV and then decided to have a Lush-filled bubble bath.
I was in the middle of enjoying it and had started saying self-affirming things such as: "I'm gonna' do great!", "I'm feeling great!" (a la Bob Wiley style from What About Bob). And in literally 2 seconds I went from feeling calm and peaceful to completely bawling my eyes out. Seriously, great, body-shaking sobs. So now I got my Cry on. I'm feeling nice and calm, except my eyes are all aflame, so I'm going to slather on my comforting Vanilla Bean Noel lotion (I know, not season-appropriate...well just deal) and read through my Madonna-laden Vogue, and go to sleep. IT'S TIME TO SHINE, KITTENS!
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