Letter to the people who keep calling my number looking for that business...

Here's the deal, people: that company you keep calling for? They changed their phone number. The phone company (may it rot in hell) gave it to us. Although we asked for the cheapest calling plan, we certainly didn't ask for the company's cast-off number. Be that as it may, there are a few things we need to discuss.

When you call and we don't answer the phone because we know it's you and you hear our very non-business answering machine message, why do you leave a message for so-and-so in the sales department or verifying delivery information? Better yet, why do you start to leave a message, stop in the middle, hang up, and call our number again? You're going to get the same answering machine message.

Those of you who call and hear our non-business message, why do you just let the message run and then hang up, only to call back 3 seconds later and do it again? Do you really think that something will change in those 3 seconds?

Yes, we know you're a very competent phone number dialer and that you checked, double-checked, then re-checked the number and still got us. But things change, people, things change. That's the beauty of recycling phone numbers. Instead of getting an imminently useful "this # is no longer in service" message, you get us. Lucky you.

And those of you who call and are lucky enough to have your call answered, you have a special place in the darkest part of my heart. Initially, I would tell you people that you had the wrong number. We even changed the answering machine message to state that "this is not the number for XYZ company", but you still kept calling and leaving messages. People, we've had this phone number for 14 months. It's time to get with the program. So now when you call, that's why I say "no, this isn't XZY company; they changed their number over a year ago and this number no longer belongs to them."

I know you're hearing is excellent and that you hear me tell you they changed their number, so WHY do you call back again? Do you think I'm lying? I'm not. I'm not even trying to play a practical joke. I'm not even halfway kidding around with you, old pals that we are. And when you call back and we have to go through the whole dance again, do not ask me to look up the number for you. If you're lucky enough to catch me on a good day, I'll tell you ever so sweetly to look in an updated phone book. It is not then a good idea to ask me to look it up for you. I will hang up on you if you do that.

Here's why I don't have time to look up the phone number for you: I am VERY BUSY STUDYING FOR THE BAR EXAM. I do not have time to look things up for you. So people, please, it's been over a year. STOP CALLING MY APARTMENT! I am no longer responsible for what I may say to you over the phone nor what I may do to you if I am able to hunt you down. Please, get yourselves an updated phone book and go on your merry way.

Signs you've been studying for the bar exam...

1. You don't remember when you last shaved...this occurs to you in the middle of working out at the gym.

2. You forget to wear deodorant.

3. You have a vague awareness that your teeth are all starting to feel a bit fuzzy, and can't remember the last time you brushed your teeth.

4. You don't do laundry until you are wearing your last pair of clean underwear.

5. You don't go grocery shopping until you are tired of eating chinese delivery.

6. Your face breaks out like it never had the guts to during puberty.

7. You develop study 'tics' and/or eczema.

8. You start fantasizing about your nightly glass of wine at 10:30 am.

9. Car alarms push you over the edge.

10. The only things you consciously do every 24 hours consist of: studying, eating, peeing, and sleeping.

damn you, study muse

I've finally gotten to a point where I'm feeling really good about criminal law/procedure & so of course, I've lost the ability to focus on it. I just need to write 2 damn essays and 'just checking email' turns into an hour of doing nothing. crap.

Of course it doesn't help that I'm trying to fight off getting sick and just want to curl up on the couch and put on some trashy daytime TV. Although if I'm going to actually get sick, bring it on! Let's get it done & over with so I'm in the clear by test day.

I think what makes this process so ridiculous is that at this point I'm starting to feel like an old hand at this process. Granted, this is only my 3rd time through, but any novelty or nervousness is gone. The first time I think I vibrated the entire 2 months of studying from nerves. The second time I didn't do anything but study - 12 hours a day. This time I've taken a more laid back approach - it's not about how much time I'm spending, but just accomplishing the daily goals.

Which brings me back to those 2 essays that have yet to be written and are mocking me. Time to hustle...

welcome to my world, yadda yadda...

so I think I'm starting to annoy my friends who are out in the 'real' world with the copious amounts of email blatherings I've bombarded them with, so I decided to infect the world instead. Because really, my friends don't have the option of ignoring me but you people who stumble across this can ingore with bliss. And to those of you who choose to get involved, don't say you weren't warned.

I'm taking the bar for the *third* time and as a way of keeping Husband happy, try to get all my venting done elsewhere so he doesn't bear the brunt of it. Poor guy - he has to sit through me bitching and moaning a 3rd time. So perhaps this is an effort to keep the marriage happy.