55-friday will bite your ankles

She decided to sit with herself for a bit, mulling over the bits and pieces of conversation they'd shared. She knew she was reaching the inevitable conclusion.

Pensively, she raised the glass to her lips in a silent toast. They'd lived an excessively robust life, that was for sure.

"Congratulations," she said with a sigh.

Murphy, murphy, murphy...

1) Murphy's law says that the night you really need sleep will be the night you toss and turn for an hour, unable to fall into blissful slumber.

2) Murphy's law says that once you actually do fall asleep, a FALSE FIRE ALARM WILL GO OFF AT 1:30 A.M., keeping you awake for a full hour before it gets turned of and you can fall back asleep.

3) Murphy's law says that the day you are so tired everything hurts and you can hardly think straight, the other shoe you didn't know was hanging above you will drop with a loud, resounding thud. Oh, fuck.

Oh, I've got orange nails all right...

I don't really have anything specific to say or a point to make, and while I hate doing a post where I'm just blabbing, I feel I need to write something, especially since I skipped out on 55-friday. So here are some random thoughts.

1. I've really been craving pickles lately. And no, it's not pregnancy-related.

2. I painted my nails orange today, in honor of the great HALLOWEEN tomorrow.

3. I saw "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown" this past week for the first time ever. And yes, Linus, I believe you!

4. I went shopping yesterday and got new shower gel and a black cardigan, to replace one that just crapped out on me this last week.

5. I discovered that Bath & Body Works only gets ONE shipment of fall-scented items, in August, and once it's gone, there's NO MORE. Which includes all things pumpkin-scented, even shower gel. It's not even HALLOWEEN, people. There is something wrong with your store's merchandising selections when it's not even halloween yet and your main store display is Christmas. Seriously. Is there anything wrong with waiting until Thanksgiving for this?

6. I watched several scary halloween movies which required vodka shots for my viewing ability.

7. Decided that I'm definitely getting too old to be doing vodka shots, especially when they come in multiples.

8. Decided that Jane magazine is most emphatically not the same magazing that got me through college and law school without Jane Pratt the founder and editor for 9 years. *sniff*. Jane Pratt, you OWE your loyal readers (yes, I've been with the magazine from the get go) an explanation as to WHY THE HELL YOU LEFT.

9. Decided that instead of carving a pumpkin, I would instead paint one with glue and then cover it in super fine glitter, a la Martha Stewart. I have now done two in this fashion: a tiny one and a medium-sized one, both in super fine copper-colored glitter, and they both look gorgeous. I will post a picture as soon as Husband decides to unearth the rechargable batteries and charge them for our camera. (So no holding your breath.)

10. Am not really sure how ready I am for Monday to be happening to me tomorrow. Ugh.

11. Am weighing all the ramifications of having a second glass of chardonnay...and another pickle slice.

my TV was steaming...

I just watched an episode of the Tonight Show that I had on TiVo (I think it was from yesterday or the night before) and the musical guest was Institute - which just so happens to be Gavin Rossssssssdale's new band. And can I just say how yummmmmmmy he is?!? Watching him move with that guitar...HOT DAMN! Oh, and I thought the music was fairly good, too.

Hello, stress...glad to have you back

Sunday night I had something akin to a panic attack. I was laying in bed, waiting for sleep to catch up with me, and suddenly I was like hyperventilating thinking about checking bar results and the potential of seeing that I hadn't passed the bar. Again. And oh my god, I'm just not sure I'll be able to handle that again. On Monday morning I woke up with one of the biggest caker sores I've ever had, and today I feel another one sprouting on the other side of my mouth. Joy, oh joy.

Anyways, I'm just feeling a little strung out and fragile and had to share. Now: send the lurve.

7-7-7 tagged

Ok, so Chai tagged me for this:

7 things I plan to do before I die
1. learn how to ballroom dance
2. play violin at carnegie hall
3. be a published author
4. learn to speak Spanish and French fluently
5. live abroad
6. own a Boesendorfer
7. become a pastry chef

7 things I can do
1. edit (papers, etc.)
2. play musical instruments (violin & piano)
3. bake a mean pie and batch of chocolate-chip cookies from scratch
4. be extraordinarily, incredibly, wonderfully organized
5. be empathetic/a good listener/a good friend
6. pick out really awesome gifts for my friends
7. give myself a french manicure and pedicure

7 things I cannot do
1. speak any other languages
2. dance, ballroom or otherwise
3. cook gourmet food
4. be unorganized/spontaneous
5. ignore/get sucked into a TV when it’s on
6. take big risks (sky diving, gambling, etc.)
7. sleep in

7 things that attract me to another person
1. melancholiness/being artistic
2. genuine-ness
3. a splendid dark, sarcastic sense-of-humor
4. someone who gives you space to be you without asking for explanations or apologies
5. respect
6. education
7. loyalty

7 things that I say the most
1. oh my god
2. groovy
3. shut up
4. oy vey
5. crap
6. shit
7. fuck

7 people I want to do this
1. Kav
2. S
3. Utopaforia
4. ladyberries
5. Cari G
6. Eve-Marie
7. JM

55 - this won't hurt a bit

"Let's get started. You won't feel a thing, now lay back and try to relax."
"Ah, um, okay. Just try to make it quick."
"Are you ready?"
"Oh, right, like you can ever really prepare for this."
"Okay, take a deep breath and close your eyes."
"Just get it over with already."
Ah, dental exams.

HA, I WIN...neener neener

I think I have SOLVED our little cat-on-the-counter problem. First I should say that the way our living room is shaped and where our cable is at, there are only so many options for where things can go. That being the case, we have our loveseat couch underneath an short overhang counter that's next to our couch. It's like one of the bar-type counters, but it's too short to actually warrant bar stools.

I tried to move the furniture around, and that just DID NOT work. And having the loveseat underneath the counter was just an invitation for the cat to walk right up there and get his little beastly nose into my cooking. NOT ACCEPTABLE. I did a little internet research, and saw a lot about putting aluminum foil on counters, because cats hate the sound/feel of it. Well, that worked the FIRST time. Little devil. So I hunted down some double-sided carpet tape, and taped the crap out of my counter. The next morning after the institution of the tape (which pisses Husband off, as he can no longer just leave his glass laying around. HA. It's a two-fer) I saw four little paw prints on one side of the counter, but that's it.

And the tape has been on the counter for over 24 hours, and there's only those four little prints. NO MORE! And I've seen my little devil-cat come right up to the counter, think about it, and change his mind. HA! I WIN!

the 55 that just wouldn't come

I've had about 5 false starts and I just don't think the fiction muse will be visiting me today.

In other news, it turns out we adopted a pyscho kitty. Oh, and let's not forget about the attitude this kitty is sporting. But it certainly is keeping us entertained! He's still a little love whore, but now his personality is coming out. You should see the way he tears around this apartment! You'd think he was cracked out on catnip.

Ok, back to my glass of wine and watching the girl's team getting torn up on Donald's Apprentice. Oooh....this is gonna' be good...

New addition...

On the hunt...

So, here's the new family addition! His name upon adoption was "Mr. Winky", which we are phasing out in favor of "Jiminy"...as in jiminy cricket. I wanted to name him Jimmy, as in Jimmy Choo, because he looks like he's wearing shoes, but first of all, he's an he, and "Jimmy" just didn't really work when I tried it out. I couldn't get him to just sit still for a picture, because that shoelace in the bottom right of the picture needed to be ATTACKED.

We adopted him on Sunday, and just got him last night after he got fixed. He's an incredibly loving little guy, although he woke me up at 4:30 am to cuddle. That's going to have to be addressed, because this gnome doesn't function well with a 4:30 am wakeup call.

Anyways, just had to share...now send the love!

oh how I love halloween...

In an effort to save money, Husband & I decided to hit up the local Blockbuster for date night. In the spirit of the holiday, we decided to forego the Chris Rock video in lieu of seasonal choices. What did we get? Well, we got 2 choices: Dracula (the one with Wynona Rider) and Dawn of the Dead.

Why do I think I can handle scary movies? I don't know. I! CAN'T! Which is why I happen to be typing this while the movie is on. I can't just sit still and watch it. It's freakin' me out! And yes, I realize it's a stupid movie, but I grew up in a very Footloose type of environment, and movies get to me. Oh, I can handle religious type freaky movies, but that's about it.

So this is the beginning of about a month of getting through scary movies. Wish me luck.

The way to this gnome's heart

Husband has gone above and beyond. First, he looked at me on Thursday and said he wanted to clean the apartment this weekend so I could enjoy my weekend and not worry about it. This alone is an incredible thing. But add to that his getting me a beautiful fall flower arrangement (picture will be forthcoming) and going to the grocery store yesterday, and all that adds up to one extremely happy wife. And I think we all know that when there's a happy wife, there's a happy husband.

This happy wife is going to go enjoy her Saturday.

feeling a little chatty...

It's the end of a very long week, and I've just ingested probably 10 ounces of wine (yes, I'm being obnoxious: keeping a food journal, counting calories) and I'm feeling CHATTY. I don't really have anything to say, which is a first for me. Usually I only post when I have something to say, because I hate it when people just ramble on and on. So I'll try not to. I guess all I really want to say is "HI!".

Oh, and that I did a really I'm-the-bigger-person thing tonight. See, I had this roommate during one year of lawschool, and she was the 'bad' roommate. There were three of us living together, and while 2 of us sort of maybe ganged up on the 'bad' roommate (oh, STOP JUDGING, you would have done the SAME thing), she certainly played her part. Anyways, I decided to embrace adulthood and I wrote her a very nice, "I was terrible" sort of email. And I really tried to make sure it was sincere.

Anyways, I guess that's about it. Hope everyone is doing swell out there in blog-land.

time for 55 again...

"Sit down" he instructed. "Well, I've done a little checking into our records, and we have encountered a little problem." Shit, she thought, there's no way around this. "What do you have you to say for yourself?" She rolled her eyes; "I guess there's no excuse, I just got carried away...Prada's just so expensive."

a Fiona Apple a day keeps the blues away...

Fiona Apple

All I have to say is this: you all need to rush out and BUY THIS CD IMMEDIATELY!!! It is absolutely, positively fabulous, and well worth the wait. It's so fabulous to have you back, Fiona!

Homicidal maniac, courtesy of Target

Today I set out to do a little shopping - but not just any shopping, it was an on-a-mission type of shopping day. I was out to get magazine storage boxes, like this, in an effort to have a lovely, Martha-Stewart-ly organized apartment.

I started my quest at TJ Maxx, thinking that they might have some for a decent price. Well that was a no-go, so I decided to go to Ross (like TJ Maxx), because they usually have a bigger 'home' area. They had 2 different options, but they were clunky and I want sleek, non-clunky one. Let me also mention that Ross was crazy busy, to the point where I was almost at the end of my patience and nerves.

Since this particular Ross is right next to a Target, I decided to go check out Target. Oh, I am a stupid, stupid girl. First of all, this Target is always completely crazy and a pig sty. Seriously, I've never been in there where there haven't been nearly all the carts filled with merchandise to be re-shelved. No, I'm not kidding. And this Target is not in a bad area of Los Angeles. I don't get it. But today I forgot that this Target makes me crazy every time I go in there, and this time was no exception. Not only was it complete chaos, but apparently, OCTOBER 2ND IS THE DAY TO GO SCHOOL-SUPPLY/DORM ROOM SHOPPING. OMG. What a total and complete nightmare. And apparently, TARGET doesn't carry/sell those magazine organizers. Of course, because that would make sense. It took everything in me under the heading of decency not to yell "get the hell out of my way!" at the top of my lungs while waiving my arms crazily about.

In any event, I got out without losing my mind or committing manslaughter (which undoubtedly would have fallen under the "heat of passion" category). Apparently, I still have some rage issues left over from the bar. Who knew?

Welcome to the neighborhood!

There's a new kid on the block, and everyone should go check HER out. She's one very cool cat, so go and enjoy!


This has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that her current post is about me. I'm serious about the fact that she's groovy and you all ought to become fans.

55-lunchtime-fry-day

The following in no way was influence by the great chocolate-fudgy-coffee-cake-of-addiction that happened to be in the office this morning for breakfast. And my constant eating thereof. Just so we're clear.


It was called 'The Great Chocolate Downfall of Mrs. Soother', the type of incident that caused moral people to gossip and stare. Mrs. Soother's good intentions had gone awry; she'd nibbled her way to the highest reaches of company infamy. When she yelled "3,000 pounds is the limit, stay off!", people sprinted for the stairs.

Letter to the man who prances around in his Speedo...

Sir:

Look, I'm sure you're a very nice man. When I saw you prancing around the apartment complex wearing only your cobalt-blue speedo and tennis shoes, sans towel, I looked the other way. Sure, it gave me the shivers, seeing as how you are my father's age and haven't an ounce of body fat, but I thought hey, it's Los Angeles, to each their own.

But when you took it a step further and started hiking your speedo down so I can see your CRACK while sunbathing, this becomes completely and ridiculously disgusting. Seriously, sir, your ASS CRACK is kissing the air. Not only are you already knocking on melanoma's door, but when your speedo abuse starts to infringe on one of the true joys in my life - namely, lounging by the pool on a Sunday afternoon enjoying a corona, this becomes personal.

How about we make a deal? You can continue to sashay your way around the apartment wearing your teensy-weensy cobalt-blue speedo and tennis shoes and I will just look the other way. But this business of pushing down your speedo so your ass crack is exposed simply has to STOP! Please! Stop, for the love of god!

Thanks, I'm glad we had this chat.

55 FRY-DAY

A singular dream - what fixation he possessed! His whole life devoted to impressing and winning her back with such singular focus! And what potential for utter desolation. Straightening his shoulders, he resolved not give up; he would confront the future and all it's terrors with steel resolve. If only he'd known what was to come.



So perhaps some of you will recognize that I just finished listening to The Great Gatsby on CD during commuting to work, in which I was totally and completely enchanted. And don't give me any crap about the fact that this wasn't a complete original...this is just what was swimming around my head and I think I had to purge it to be able to move on. In any event, it is what it is. So there.